So fustrated...

So my wife finally agreed to take a enema the other day . So excitedly I gathered the Equipment, medical grade retention nozel

and 3 Qt bad, showed it to her and... " did you think I was serious?"...grrrreat

now she is really turned off by it 😢

Too bad she is your wife and not someone you aren't attached to. 😢

I understand where you are coming from my friend. I have the same problem with my wife also. She me give one enema a couple of years back. She does not like them and does not understand the good side to them when it comes to sex. This was not an item we talked about before we married either. If anything ever happens to us I will ask before I get married again.

I'm really sorry it's not fair to have joke on a such intimate phantasy. :'(

That is really sad and I feel bad for you It is so typical I guess that is why we live with these repressed fantasies hoping to find somebody who understands and that we can be open with. There are some couples and people on this forum who are very fortunate to have a partner who understands.each others needs.

I am going to suggest that you scared her off with your zeal and the gear if she has either never had enemas before or had bad experiences with them.

"medical grade retention nozel and 3 Qt bad,"(sic)

If you had never done strapons with her and she suggested doing you with one, how would you feel if she came at you with one 14" long, 4" diameter? She may have felt that the situation would rapidly spiral out of her control.

😢 I was in the same place as you are. I tried to get my soon to be ex to come on to this web site and she refused. She couldn't believe that people have fun with enemas.

I feel for you, as well. Despite my willingness to do whatever she wants (which is nothing), my frustration is compounded by a lack of desire on her part. In addition to uneventful, it is also infrequent.

At first I was pissed at her. Then I read the post by 3855win. He brings up a very good point. Maybe you should start off easy, say a Fleet or two. Administer one to yourself first while she watches. That little bottle with it's skinny nozzle is less intimidating to her than your heavy machinery. She just might be more receptive.

Here's a similar analogy. I like shotgunning. When I introduce a new shooter to the sport I hand them a 20 ga. with light target loads. You work up from there. They would pick themselves up off the ground, hand me the gun back and never fire another one if I gave them my 12ga. Supermag stoked with 3 1/2" geese loads for their first shot.

I'd love it if my wife was more into the e scene than me, but she will participate. She;d love it if I was more into vacuuming, but at least I participate. The sex is just a part of the relationship, and if you want the exciting sex, do the other less than exciting stuff that makes your partner see that the whole package is good, and it's not just somebody trying to shove a big nozzle where she's not wild about it going. You have to make her wild about you, not your fancy equipment.

I like your anology, Strapherdown. I start people off with a .22 and move up. One time I did intentionally put too much gun in someones hands to make a point. Two rounds of 44 then went back to the 9mm and her flich at the 9 was gone.

Personally I would stay away from Fleets, unless you empty them out and refill with plain water or very mild soap. YMMV. Or just a good old folding yellow latex from the drug store.

What we have in most of these cases is a colossal failure to communicate.

“So my wife finally agreed to take a enema the other day . So excitedly I gathered the Equipment, medical grade retention nozel and 3 Qt bad, showed it to her and... " did you think I was serious?"...grrrreat

now she is really turned off by it”

First you need to establish what your mate’s e-experience has been. Has she eve had an enema? If so, under what circumstances?

Talk it through. Find out what her expectations are. Re-examine your own expectations. What motivates you? In this area it should be bringing pleasure to your mate.

Finally, frankly discuss what is going to happen and how you are going to accept her trust, use it appropriately and return it intact. Go easy at first and remember this is just another tube in another hole.

Perhaps others on the board have suggestions as to how to make this the most nurturing of experiences.

[quote author=VIVIOUS13 link=topic=14158.msg139695#msg139695 date=1225936994]

So my wife finally agreed to take a enema the other day . So excitedly I gathered the Equipment, medical grade retention nozel

and 3 Qt bad, showed it to her and... " did you think I was serious?"...grrrreat

now she is really turned off by it 😢

[/quote]

well duh! she got one look at that 3 quart bag and balloon nozzle and spooked! if you had started with something more in line with a scared beginner you would have likely made a sale.. as it is now she may never give you another chance..i think eveyone should learn a lesson from such a colosal phuck up..

the better approach would have been a bulb enema of pure water or maybe a bit of coffee or green tea. very mild yet a squirt or two will get the enema effect going and she would likely have asked for another "just to get the rest out".. the only possible salvation now is communication, appologize for scaring her with that cannon you started with ... show her a small bulb and discuss the health and pleasure enemas can provide and then allow her to say: yes or no

most peoples (guys especially) biggest mistake is too much too quick overloads the newbie! when youintroduce someone to enemas its a hole new thing, dont ever forget you invading inside someones body for some first time enemas can be very scary!

like opening a door they cant see whats on the other side - until the door is opened.. when she saw that enema equipment she felt more she was being thrown down a dark hole!

So fustrated, Sounds like you had a great time.

+There is something about this issue that bothers me.First.the woman agreed to go along for an enema knowing full well she would not.This was a imature act to pull and a big let down to the husband.This a dishonest act and should not happen in a honest relationship.My wife was up front early in our marriage about how she feels aboue enemas and I respect that.On the other hand she would never pull a stunt to hurt my feelings.

Let the good times FLOW.w/m73yrs/Western Ma

That's an example of gross miscommunication. She nodded you off she yesed you into a false sense of acceptance that to me spells a poor sense of communication between the two of you. I suggest you sit down with her and if this is an issue thqat means a lot to you ; then obviously it needs to be brought out into the forefront of the relationship. I couldn't imagine going through life without meeting my desires be they whatever they may be....

I agree with Giinie. If the relationship is working, thenthere is nothing "off limits". I kmow I would do anything asked, as would she. Fortunately, I do most of the asking.

Big mistake on YOUR part. You should have introduced her to a rectal bulb/douche type of device before showing her a 3 QUART bag... If there's a next time. Talk to her about starting small. 8 ounce bulb and then go from there.

Ginnie you are so right the women do have the advantage

going outside of marriage is a little overwelhming

It seems to me that getting him/her to share the joys of enemas also means being with someone who will at least be receptive to discussing it...a partner with an open mind. My ex-wife would've never considered it under any circumstances, but then that wasn't a pleasure that I even acknowledged when we first married. But since my divorce, I make sure that any potential partner or mate be at least open-minded enough to discuss and explore such alternative pleasures. What's that old saying, "you can't make a silk purse out of a pig's ear". Well, if you choose a partner who is closed to the idea of any new experience, then what do you expect when you suggest one? That may sound a bit insensitive, but the ladies auxiliary doesn't recruit porn actressess any more than the Marine Corps recruits handicapped people.

On the other hand, if you approach your partner in a loving and caring manner - rather than as an object to satisfy your own selfish desires - perhaps he/she will come to realize that you are only hoping to enhance the physical pleasure that you can experience as a couple.

My wife is the same way

I'm in the same boat. My wife agreed to have me give her some enemas a few years ago. I gave her a series in all different positions and only asked her to "take" as much as she was confortable with. I think I was hard as a rock the entire time. The only thing that could have been better was if I had been on the recieving end (pun intended). She has since told me it was horrible and the worst experience of her life. Sigh...... 😢

I have never been able to get a Woman interested in anal anything without a little compliment and "worship" of the desired area. Start with a massage. When you get to her butt massage the cheeks. Slowly, as she relaxes work into the crease. When you get to the point that you can catch the slightest glimpse of her anus announce with awe how beautiful she is there. You've just complimented her on the most private and personal place she has. Let it sink in, leave it alone and continue the massage. You've boosted her confidence. Now for the begging. Say something like "I can't get over what I saw could I please see it again. Chances are she will allow you to. Now for the touching. "Can I touch it?" Be gentle. You see where this is going. This works way better than "I really want you to try an enema, they're awesome". Think back to your first enemas. Everything takes practice. She may be a person that never totally gets into them. If all you get out of her is acceptance you've done well. Anything more should be considered a bonus.

I think that really sucks. How difficult is it for someone to do something for someone they love? To me this is a harmless fetish that was obviously started in most cases in childhood, as a result of some one caring about you. That was a response that was not called for.

Every now and then wife "threatens" to give me an enema...

...Alas, no follow-through....

I just tuned into this thread and you're so right about scaring your potential enemate. Way back when .. (almost ancient history)... I got the same opportunity when I invited a then GF to my apartment, no real intention for anything, until she complained about having a stomach ache (I guess beer, popcorn and all the other stuff at the bazaar we attended was just too much).

I jokingly suggested she might need an enema ... and then just continued watching TV.

When she inquired about it and if it would help, I said it might, but tried not to act too anxious, but explained what it was all about. I asked if she had ever had one, and she said never.

I told her what was involved ... she would have to get undressed and I would administer a small amount of water into her, then she would hold it and expell. We might need to do this several times.

I was shocked when she said okay, let's try it (maybe it was the beer talking, but who was I to not take advantage of this opportunity).

We went into the bathroom, I took the enema bag out of the drawer, showed her the four enema nozzles I had and suggested using the smaller one, to which she asked why, "aren't I a big girl?" Okay, I took the medium-sized one, attached it to host, filled the bag with hot water (explaining to her I was just rinsing the equipment), then put about a quarter of water into the bag, put petroleum jelly on the nozzle and told her to just bend over and I would put someof the PJ on her butt hole to make the nozzle slide in easier.

Everything went quite easy as I slipped in the nozzle, she took the entire quart, held it for a couple minues and then expelled, while I refilled the bag, this time a full two quarters, explaining the second enema would be easier, but when it got to be too much, she should say so, but she had to take more than a quart.

Again it went like a charm ... she took the whole thing, held it for a while, then expelled.

Then she said the magic words ... "That felt so good ... do you want me to make you feel good."

I had to restrain myself from jumping completely out of my clothes in one move while she was filling the bag. She gave me the enema and it really felt good.

"I asked if she had ever done this before, and she said no, never. I said, maybe this is the start of something great. And it was."

Some time later, I asked her what she would have done if she would not have had a good experience with that first enema. She said she probably would have just said she felt better and never done it again. But I can say our pleasure continued for some time ... we exchanged dozen of enemas, all because I started out slow and easy, and didn't do anything more than a simple, small enema.

VIVIOUS, I would have run screaming too. What did you expect - showing her that type of equipment. Two gentle squirts with an 8oz bulb filled with nice warm water would have been perfect. I think you will need a lot of damage control before she will trust you enough to even talk about it.

Maybe you should ask her first to give you an enema, it makes a difference when you show her, that there is no problem at all

You do have to take it slow. Sit down and discuss it. Explain the erotic side of it in addition to the cleanliness that it can bring. If she is interested at all in anal sex, encourage her to be clean first.

I am sorry. I can really relate. This reminds me the time when I had made arrangements for the two of us to go to a special hotel for the weekend with the kids with the grandparents.

At this point my wife was aware of my enema fixation. She had tried a few, but had been refusing them.

We had code words for things, and when planning the trip I had used them. I got what seemed to me as a solid agreement, so I happily packed my regular fountain syringe with the regular nozzles from the drug store. This was the exact equipment we had used before, so there wasn't anything scary or new about that.

It was a weekend stay, so I took my time and we had some good vanilla sex. When I moved onto the subject of an enema, she refused. I pointed out what I thought was our agreement, and she said something that made your quote resonate for me, "you thought I was serious?" In other words, she understood our code words, but that was accepted as fantasy talk because it turned me on. I told her that I had thought we were planning on this special privacy and had brought the equipment. She got really annoyed that I had the equipment and got cool to even vanilla sex because she was afraid I would "try to talk her into something."

It is 1:30 am. She is asleep in the next room. I have a syringe in storage. I'd love to have a bit of play, but it is not possible. The hotel incident was about 20 years ago.

Good luck.