Intimate exams are more embarrassing for males / men

Hey there,

what do you think if you compare the embarrassment of REAL exams between men and women.

For whom are exams more uncomfortable or ashaming if an assistant or nurse is also in the room?

My idea about this is:

A Female can choose to go to a female doctor, if there is a nurse /helper she will probably also be female.

If a female goes to a male doctor, maybe shes alone with him (europe) but there will never be a second male assisting.

A Male indeed also can choose to go to a male doctor, but if there is a assistant she will be female.

So you have no choice or chance, you always need to strip in front of a female nurse. And (in europe) a male can be examined by a female doctor and nurse assisting.

Thats my point why I say a male always is more embarrassed to get an intimate exam, because you cant hide.

And you know, most of us have another problem: the penis, either you are so anxious and nervous that you get the smallest penis on earth or you get touched or whatever and get an erection... Both is very awkward for us, women dont have that problem.

Sorry for long text, tell me your opinions, men and women please.

Maxim

I don't find it embarrassing at all. In the past 2 years I've been nude with females all around me and it doesn't bother me. At the dermatologist it was her and her female assistant plus another female who showed up to watch just before the derm had me retract my foreskin for her. #3 wasn't a doctor or a nurse or her assistant but she leaned in for a close look. With the high percentage of cut males here in the USA maybe she was one of the office staff who wanted to see what a foreskin looks like because her husbands is missing.

At the hospital it was a female who came in to get a "sterile" urine sample. She knew me from outside where I work as a crossing guard. I wasn't allowed to touch anything, she grabbed my penis and wiped the outside then retracted my foreskin and wiped it again. Then she put it in the sample cup and told me to pee. When it was about to overflow she squeezed it to shut off the flow and put it in a urinal bottle.

Again at the hospital when they were going to hold me overnight for tests in the morning, I was standing next to the bed waiting while a half dozen females were coming and going getting the room ready when a female came in to put that pad on my back. She asked me to loosen my trousers so she could get in there and said "you might as well take them off along with your underwear so I can check you over before you get in the bed. Then she left for about 10 minutes and I was standing there naked watching that army of girls getting the room ready.

I am used to it by now and I figure we are all adults so they know what a man looks like anyway just as I know what a female looks like so who cares?

At the VA on my first visit with the RNP who takes care of me she had me bent over the table with her finger inside when she exclaimed "Oh you have a nice little one". My first thought was she was looking at my little hanger then I realized she meant my prostate and I replied "I was just thinking the same thing about your finger". She chuckled and we had a great relationship ever since.

So I don't see any reason to get embarrassed but if I was displayed naked in the town square I probably would.

Interesting thread, I feel like it depends on the individual more than the fact of male/female.

Embarrassment can also be used as a "tool" to shift the embarrassment to the other observing party. For some years I have enjoyed receiving my massages in the nude, most of the time from a relatively attractive woman. And these ladies have seen most everything. The scene become interesting when a second female comes into the room offering to provide a four-hand massage. And the problem is two women working on a man usually degenerates into a female talk-talk session. I usually response, "well, can you provide a good prostate massage?". Now who is the embarrassed party ? No me, and it has always been the second female that walks out, leaving my original massuse to finish my session!

Very interesting thread and looking forward to everyone's thoughts. Personally, I've only had females examine my most intimate parts, including breasts, in real exams. For me, it's a little embarrassing. Being that I'm rather on the large size breast wise, I guess I get a little self-conscious. What are they thinking? I don't even know if would matter what their gender was; I'm just naturally self-conscious when being examined, and exposed...at least in an exam setting. Sounds funny coming from someone who enjoys "exhibiting " her body but it's relative to the environment. When I'm purposefully showing off in public, I have intention behind it. In an exam setting, I'm being submissive to the nurse or doctor; forced to reveal very intimate parts. For example, in a recent EKG test, I had to go topless in front of the female nurse. I felt self-conscious, wondering what she was thinking, slightly embarrassed. It's possible had my husband Anthony been present, it would have lessened the embarrassment...I'm terribly shy in these settings. Really really ..its not just a random handle I came up with ha 😅

PS- I totally get why it may seem more embarrassing for a male now. Yes, I agree, there is an overall stricter protocol or modesty imposed upon us women than so men, if that makes sense; however, it all comes downto the patient and how they feel and their thought processes. I would say, I was rather more embarrassed in that exam I mentioned above because, from the start, they didn't allow Anthony to come back with me. They said it was for my own privacy or something, and they weren't used to women actually wanting their husbands back there with them which is weird? That really threw me off, and made me possibly more anxious than normal.

I don't believe it is as embarrassing as a male in intimate exams compared to females.

Females are often afforded the presence of a chaperone by default. Though it doesn't make it any less embarrassing.

Growing up, there seemed to be little concern for male modesty during physical exams. Males were expected to bare all regardless of who was present. If a male patient protested, the doctor would chastise him. Conversely, doctors tried to preserve female modesty. There was always less undressing required, and doctors made a concerted effort to shield any female nudity from onlookers. Due to this dichotomy, I believe that intimate exams for males are more embarrassing.

As for myself I do get somewhat embarrassed during a physical exam, whether by a male or female doctor. As for other males getting examined I can't say how they feel. I would imagine some find it very embarrassing and some feel no embarrassment.

As for a female being embarrassed during a exam. I would think it is the same way some find it very embarrassing and others not at all.

It is not a male or female thing. Everybody is an individual and has their own opinion about having an intimate exam. Some people don't care if the exam is administered by a male or female provider.

I have been examined by both male and female doctors, nurses etc and I don't care about gender. What I care about is getting the exam correctly. My doctor is a woman and we have a solid doctor/patient relationship. The rapport is my first priority. Gender does not matter to me.

As a child and teen I got embarrassed during the genital exam by my female pediatrician because I would get an erection. During one physical my pediatrician told me there was nothing to feel embarrassed about and getting an erection is a normal reaction and indicates that the plumbing works. She really was a decent doctor.

Thx for awesome answers so far.

I also had many many exams (urologist, proctologist, skin exam) some by a male, the most by a female doctor.

this I can chose most of times.

my problem or my discussion is about the helping hand, the assistant.

I prefer a female urologist.

but if i wanna to go to a male doctor or do a completely skin exam by male, then the assistant is female.

so even if I was afraid of showing me naked infront of woman and I chose a male, the nurse is nevertheless female.

no chance that I onlky show me to a male. thats my point. a woman can go to female dcotor + female nurse = 3 women

we men have always (if needed) a femalöe assistant. i think there are only 5% of males who are assisting.

I like it examined by female but the second female is embarrassing to me. and I react at proctologist: when I am alone with male dcotor, I am relaxed, if a chaperone is there, I get aches while examined.

for my its a big thing, when third person is in room, thats my point, because they sare 95% women

in austria you can have 1 male patient + 2 female doctors and without a medical gown.

I had expected to be embarrassed, but when it actually happened, I was a little nervous, but that didn’t last. My main concern was to get proper treatment, from a medical professional. They just happened to be female. Trust me, there was nothing sexual about it, for anyone involved. And they resolved the issue.

I’m going to see a female urologist in August. I selected he based on my PCP’s recommendation. While I have only seen male urologists in the past I don’t anticipate any issue at my upcoming appointment. My concern is in getting the best care. There probably will be a female assistant, although I would prefer a male. But since care is my concern it will not be a problem for me. The MD and PCP dermatologists I see only have female scribes and medical assistants. That hasn’t bothered me.

I think it has a lot to do with how we were brought up, how we feel about being naked and how we view people of the opposite sex seeing us naked.

@Maxim it is ok to feel the way you do. Concentrate on why you are seeing the doc and what you hope to get identified and/or resolved.

Most of you are really not embarrassed when you visit a real doctor. wow I always thought, your fetish is there available too and you like to go to doctor. i cant separate reality from dreams of medfet.

@Maxim I am more of a voyeur than a medfetishist. I was raised to trust doctors from a young age and to let them look at and touch everything.

However, I prefer to meet the doctor at my first visit clothed. As an adult I think they owe me this courtesy.

I think it’s problematic to make assumptions on how people of different sexes feel about exams. We have all been raised differently and do not understand how it is to live as someone else. Medical exams for men and women are different . Our relationships and power dynamics with same sex or opposite sex people vary tremendously. This does begin not factor in the sliding scale of gender identity or the wide range of attractions and fears that we all harbor. I have had both male and female doctors and observers, and at my core I want the best medical care I can find. I don’t feel it is fair or relevant to say one combination of sexes is inherently more or less embarrassing than another. Everyone will have their own preference and unease, which is completely valid for that individual, but until we have a few thousand data points from all cultures of the world it is not a topic for which I would take a side. I think broad assumptions about this are harmful to promote.

I would have expected an exam to be more embarrassing for females when you consider what is done to them. A speculum is inserted into the most private opening with her legs spread wide. Then the inside is examined closely and a sample is taken by inserting a swab and rubbing it around. Other parts in the vulva may also be examined.

What do they do to a male that would compare to that?

I would have expected an exam to be more embarrassing for females when you consider what is done to them. A speculum is inserted into the most private opening with her legs spread wide. Then the inside is examined closely and a sample is taken by inserting a swab and rubbing it around. Other parts in the vulva may also be examined.

What do they do to a male that would compare to that?

I have to agree. Especially the spreading legs wide open. It denotes a degree of vulnerability.

It has also been noted time and time again here that at least when it comes to the younger ages, that males are not afforded much privacy at all for their exams, meaning that parents or medical personnel don't acknowledge a young male's need for any privacy. They are supposed to all be fine with nudity and such in a medical setting.

Buy young ladies are rarely intimately examined because it is thought to be too embarrassing. School exams and the like are rarely very intimate for females. Meaning that they are thought to be extremely embarrassing for the young ladies themselves.

I asked my wife about it and she just took it as a normal part of her life being examined like that. This is from the woman who locks the bathroom door when I'm the only other person in the house but thinks nothing of coming in when I'm in there. She always had a male doctor. She chose one when she was pregnant and continued with him until he retired. Then our male family doctor took over doing the internal exams until he retired. Funny thing there, when I went in for my annual physical in was "take 'em off, all of them". I didn't think he even HAD gowns but my wife says she always got one and she also had to strip completely. My exam took about 30 minutes including sitting naked on the end of the table for 20 minutes talking with him. My wife said being examined internally by a male didn't bother her and she never thought about it until I asked.

When he retired I had her choose our next doctor so she wouldn't accuse me of picking the sexiest female doctor in the physicians group. She chose her for me but all she does is listen through my shirt and tap on my belly. Oh yeah, she also reads the results of the blood work. I did get her to do a DRE one time but I had to ask for it, making me feel like some kind of pervert. When I showed her an itchy spot next to my testicles one time (I had to show her, she didn't ask to see it) she thanked me for showing that to her. WTF? I did mention to her in a message on their web site that not being naked for a physical didn't make me feel like I had a physical. The next time she did have me naked but only that one time.

Neither of us have ever had another person m or f at those exams with the doctor. The derm I went to had an assistant who really was her "step and fetch it". Of course she was watching what the derm was doing it would have seemed a bit strange if she stood there facing the wall. Naturally I expected her to watch.

Maybe I'm the weird one but being naked for an exam, even with all the girls watching, doesn't bother me. Doesn't excite me either, my little wrinkly thing never even tried to pump up.

The doctor my wife chose for us.

https://www.corephysicians.org/Find-a-Provider/Christen-Doucet

I also have to spread the legs wide open at a rectal exam at proctologist.

And also at bladder reflection. So I really feel how females lie down on that chair.

BUT the difference is, that a female can have a female doctor and a female nurse. 3 women.

For me as male, I can only chose to have the male doctor. But it will be always (+90%) a female to assist.

Dont get me wrong, I like it to show naked infront of 2 women.

But a male has no chance to be alone with other men. A women can do that with only female personal.

Imagine, there will never be a gyno exam with male doctor + male nurse + female patient.

But bladder screens or uroscopy, rectal exams can always have 1 male patient + female doctor + female nurse.-

Thats the thing I talk about. And believe me, I had more fingers and rectocopes into my bum from female+male+nurse that I coulkd ever imagine lol.

And I also claim that the male genital is outside. So the foreign women (nurses) can see the penis.

The penis can be very short cause of anxiety and nervousness. or it gets bigger and you have to apologize for the erection.

A woman only shows outer labia, not more. We also have to show testicles. And get rated for that. Thats my point. you know.

I feel like Hookajoe that how embarrassed you feel depends on you; and even on cultural stuff.

I get embarrassed being examined by female doctors or clinicians: not being examined by men. But I'm 60 and British. So being at medicals and exams with other males was normal years ago where I lived and grew up. And most doctors were male. Different now.

More and more women are doctors, and in my country the nurses are 95% female

so i soon have no chance to be assisted by a male helper.

2 women 1 male, its classic cfnm situation. ok I like that.

but imagine a woman would be examined by 2 or 3 males, oh oh

I much prefer being examined by a female. My firet DRE was done by a male doctor who had fingers the size of a hot dog. The first time I was examined by a female was at the VA. She said I had a nice little one (prostate} and I told her I was thinking the same thing about her finger. Being checked by her was a pleasure after that male doctor.

I also don't mind being touched intimately by a female, not so with a male.

I cannot speak for the ladies but I can say that my embarrassment has diminished over the years. I remember being mortified at 16 when my doc did my first DRE but it's no big deal now after so many years and exams over the years. Or maybe in my seventies I just don't care so much what others may be thinking.

A speculum is inserted into the most private opening with her legs spread wide. Then the inside is examined closely and a sample is taken by inserting a swab and rubbing it around. Other parts in the vulva may also be examined.

I wish I could be examined like that.

I am not sure embarrassment is a contest or that making it one is conducive to a supportive group. I can know whether or not I am embarrassed, but I can never know what another person is experiencing.

I am actually more comfortable around a female doctor. They are way more empathetic and caring than a male. I never feel apprehensive. It doesn’t bother me to have my most intimate areas examined by a female. It would have been a problem when I was younger but not at all now

Selfishly, I fantasize about being that assistant in the room, observing a young man being examined.

If I’m the patient in either medical or play setting, having another person there to observe would be VERY embarrassing, but admittedly also exciting. Whether male or female.

I have no problem being nude for a male or female.

As a nudist, I lost all nervousness being naked around anyone. I actually had a nurse watch me redress after a flex/sig exam. She stood across the room and talked with me the whole time.

She watched me remove the cloth gown and reach for my underwear. When I realized she intended to watch me, I took my time putting a first leg in my briefs.

I answered one of her questions before a raised my second leg and fished for opening and finally pulled my jockeys over my penis. When I did, she turned around and started arranging things.

I guess the show was over for her!

I have always said there are no secrets from your urologist's nurse. But that's okay. For many years now my urologist has been female. Most of my doctors are female. When I was in the hospital, there was an army of nurses caring for me and I was glad for their care. I don't find it any more or less embarrassing for a female to see my intimate parts or know intimate details like STDs. They are after all professionals and just doing what is necessary for good care. I wouldn't trust anyone who failed to do any intimate exam out of embarrassment. Patients who do that really put themselves at risk.