Pediatricians that take advantage of their Power.

I know, for me, growing up I saw a doctor who definitely took his time checking “down there”. I remember him telling me that he needed to check my private area because I was starting puberty, also adding that because it’s such a personal exam. I didn't have to tell anyone about it. He then proceeded to feel my testicles and groin until I became fully erect…

… was it appropriate? Probably not. It never occurred to me until much later that he may have overstepped on that exam but it never troubled me enough to say anything,

Wow that is super pervy! We teach kids today that if an adult tells you to keep a secret that's exactly when you should tell your parents or a trusted adult.

I worked with a peds guy who was an international expert. His ideas are still in much of the child welfare legislation. When it all came out, a social work colleague went up into the mountains with lot of fast acting insulin and was never found.

He was convicted of sexual assault on a child. He has no licence to practice. I would piss on his grave, the slimy bastard!

They are around even at the highest levels, but I have worked with many peds that I would trust in a moment with my life.

I think old doctors were no nonsense type people. They lived through some tough times, and also when naked swimming at YMCA was common, where only males were naked, and that authority figures are respected and if you're younger, you should do what they say. I think that is also where the “boys should not be so modest” thing comes from, where the lady doctor I had during high school was exactly that, where she made all male patients get naked for her exams, but she let the females keep the gown and underwear on.

One situation that the pediatrician took advantage of was one day when I saw her for a groin check, since I felt discomfort there. I was 14 and given my age my mom accompanied me. When we entered in the exam room, she welcomed us and asked me the problem, after explaining it to her she ordered me to go to the cot; so I went and lay there waiting. Once I got there I thought it would be more than enough to lower my pants just slightly, I was wrong. she calls my mom who was sitting in front of the desk and tells her to come over, so I had one on one side and one on the other. In a moment with a single movement, already having the zip of the pants open, he lowered my pants and underwear to mid-thigh exposing everything in full view and at that time I was already well developed. The interesting thing is that he just felt my groin and disinterested herself in the rest. So I never really understood the need to show everything, maybe as an opportunity to make myself uncomfortable with her and my mother next to me.

@Lewis_s was your mom in the room?

Did she say anything?

I think that docs have different approaches and do think that some didn't much care about a young person's modesty. I never had anything unnnecessary done but abuse happens from all sorts of professionals.

So I never really understood the need to show everything, maybe as an opportunity to make myself uncomfortable with her and my mother next to me.

I doubt very much there would have been any intention of or actual abuse if your mother was standing right next to you. I would think that having your mother present was expressly done to show nothing untoward was taking place.

I doubt very much there would have been any intention of or actual abuse if your mother was standing right next to you. I would think that having your mother present was expressly done to show nothing untoward was taking place.

I don't know about this case, maybe there was no untoward intention, maybe there was. Maybe it was just a case of an adult unfairly disregarding or not considering a child's privacy or modesty. Maybe there was good reason for it. I have no idea or comment on that.

But those who abuse are adept at exploiting the trust of others and a sense that they couldn't possibly be doing something wrong or intentionally, that it must be misinterpretation etc. People can and do abuse and molest in public or in front of others, relying on the victim and witnesses to be too uncertain or embarrassed to suggest anything is wrong, or in the knowledge that their authority is simply trusted. So I don't think the above is much of a guide.

I doubt very much there would have been any intention of or actual abuse if your mother was standing right next to you. I would think that having your mother present was expressly done to show nothing untoward was taking place.

This is exactly incorrect.

Many have been abused with their parents in the room, (or other adults in the room… I was abused by a doctor with a camp staff member in the room.)

There are hundreds of news stories about Nassar abusing children with their parents in the room, these are just the first ones that came up in a Google search.

https://www.npr.org/2018/11/20/669669746/the-parents

https://www.indystar.com/story/opinion/readers/2018/02/08/larry-nassar-victim-mom-abuse-testimony-letter/319425002/

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-8455887/Larry-Nassar-victim-Rachael-Denhollander-recalls-abusing-mother.html

During my middle school years, they did a check up on every student for scoliosis (girls one year, then boys the next) during PE class. Girls were instructed to wear a (training) bra, from what I was told. But the boys were examined in just underwear. Both examiners were middle aged women. I wonder why the usual PE shorts wouldn't have sufficed?

So I don't think the above is much of a guide.

I wonder why the usual PE shorts wouldn't have sufficed?

I often have the impression that there is a whole generation being brought up to intentionally mistrust and assign the most uncharitable interpretations to situations that in previous times would not have warranted much comment. In my younger days nude swimming was mandatory in many places, now youngsters worry about having to wear underwear to an examination instead of shorts. Talk about creeping prudery in society.

When I was young there was the famous (and pretty silly) advice of never to trust anyone over 30. It seems like the modern version is to never trust anyone. Period.

I was molested by my pediatrician and it still haunts me to this day. It’s the reason I am so drawn to medical fetish. For me, it’s a paradox of fear and pleasure. It was the first sexual experience I had, lying there while my doctor took his time to examine my belly, going lower and lower and teasing me, rubbing around my penis and pubic area until I was hard and rubbing my pubic area and penis while I was hard making me feel like I was going to orgasm. he was not examining me. He was enjoying my discomfort and sexual unease. i was 6 years old! this was extremely uncomfortable and he always did it. I don’t remember, but I think my parents were in the room and he would stand so they couldn’t see me. I was quite small then so it wouldn’t have been hard for him to block their view. It angers me so much, but that is where this fetish comes from. and I will likely have this fetish for the rest of my life. Now, I have a huge fear of doctors and I have been diagnosed with complex PTSD because of it. Maybe generations are getting more sensitive, but if I developed PTSD because I was traumatized by this, then how could I just be sensitive? are soldiers who get PTSD from the war just sensitive? I’m just saying. Anyways, I enjoy the fear and nerves and sexual tension today in PLAY scenarios and that is the good that came of my sexual trauma. you have to have something good to take from it, and my defense mechanism of developing a fetish has become my takeaway. I have experienced great pleasures with my partner because of this fetish. However, I am now learning what is right and what is wrong for a doctor to do. I am trying exposure therapy by accompanying my partner to her doctors visits. I get quite scared during them but also very excited because of my fetish. It is very confusing for my little brain. I have to tell myself, “now that’s okay because she trusts this person, and they have no intention to sexualize her” or “just because she’s lying on the table doesn’t mean shes being molested” and at the same time, I find it all super Hot. Obviously in a traumatized sort of way, but that is what medical fetish is to me. It’s why I love it so much, I can’t help it. I was traumatized into loving it! And I‘m not saying that out of anger. That is just a fact. A sad fact, but an exciting one too. it is paradoxical because the thing that angers me the most is the thing I am most attracted to. I am currently in the process of getting a play doc for her and for me and i am excited for that. But sometimes I wish I was never mistreated by my doc and I could just go about my life like a “normal“ person. No doctor fetishes. I sometimes wish I could have regular sex without wanting to palpate my partner‘s tummy when I’m about to cum. However, life is often weird like that and so I just accept that I will likely always be a slut for medical fetish, while at the same time remembering what happened to me and making sure that only a PLAY doc is able to “defile“ or “molest“ me. A real doctor must not be allowed to do the same to me or my partner or my children now that I am older. the main thing I have learned is that, if my kids develop a medical fetish, it will NOT be for the same reason I did. I will watch them better than my parents did. I will make sure they know exactly what the doctor is doing and will make sure they know if the doctor makes them uncomfortable, they can stop the exam and we can talk about things and see if they would be more comfortable after some explaining. i want them to know that everything the doctor does is for their health, and like hell it had better be. That was not something that was the case for me. I want them to understand that they can trust doctors, as I never felt I could. I also want them to have boundaries, as my parents did not teach me those. but yes, I am sensitive. when my partner’s doctor lowered her pants to do an ultrasound and I could see her vagina for a moment because the doctor accidentally lifted her pants a little low in the process before putting them back in place, my heart goes “oh, dear heavens, are you okay? Is she hurting you? No, you’re safe. You probably didn’t even notice. You’re not gonna be hurt like I was“ but at the same time, my pants get a little tighter. And this is life for me, y’all.

In my younger days nude swimming was mandatory in many places,

Yes indeed, nude swimming was mandatory…. ONLY FOR MALES.

For some reason the justification for this requirement, cotton from swimsuits clogging the filter or other nonsense and dishonest reasons, just serve to reinforce the obvious societal double standard.

This dishonesty and double standard helped them earn the ‘mistrust and uncharitable interpretation' and created the distrust in the first place. The idea that males don't need modesty has helped to create the backlash.

When I was young there was the famous (and pretty silly) advice of never to trust anyone over 30. It seems like the modern version is to never trust anyone. Period.

Sadly, there’s some - or a lot of - truth to that.

While my brother and I hated getting undressed in front of my mother and the nurse during our exams in the 1980's I was happy that she was in the room with us during our exams. She teased us before the doctor came in about how we were not so ‘high and mighty’ once we disrobed. She even teased us once by saying ‘I had no idea you two would be doing a striptease’. But honestly I was glad she was in the room, looking over the pediatrician as she examined us. While I was not thrilled about her looking at my penis as my briefs were lowered but I was happy that her presence ensured nothing was going on.

Yes indeed, nude swimming was mandatory…. ONLY FOR MALES.

For some reason the justification for this requirement, cotton from swimsuits clogging the filter or other nonsense and dishonest reasons, just serve to reinforce the obvious societal double standard.

This dishonesty and double standard helped them earn the ‘mistrust and uncharitable interpretation' and created the distrust in the first place. The idea that males don't need modesty has helped to create the backlash.

Another very important reason for requiring nude swimming was to prepare young men for their military service. There is no upside to preserving modesty in the military, especially not when in the field in combat conditions. That is when all notions of modesty fly out the door if you wish to have a chance of making it through adverse situations.

The simple notion was to start dispelling prudish notions when young and it would only make things easier once in military service. Nothing much dishonest about that and an explanation why nude swimming was mandatory for males only.

Every generation naturally thinks that its own norms, mores and customs should be the benchmark for normative behavior. But that shouldn't prohibit them from accepting an obvious truth that other generations thought differently on many matters and that those differences should not necessarily be interpreted uncharitably in the worst light.

That is a tendency all so prevalent nowadays

I often have the impression that there is a whole generation being brought up to intentionally mistrust and assign the most uncharitable interpretations to situations that in previous times would not have warranted much comment. In my younger days nude swimming was mandatory in many places, now youngsters worry about having to wear underwear to an examination instead of shorts. Talk about creeping prudery in society.

When I was young there was the famous (and pretty silly) advice of never to trust anyone over 30. It seems like the modern version is to never trust anyone. Period.

I was wondering because the examination was strictly to check the torso and especially the back. And the girls were allowed to keep their PE shorts on, as far as I was told, too. Now, don't get me wrong: the examiners definitely did nothing unbecoming of their positions, and I was not at all uncomfortable to be examined in my underwear at the time. But why strip the boys of their shorts if they didn't need to?

I think it was much worse in earlier days but nowadays it is either not that often or better hidden I would say

I had a family doctor when I was young, not a pediatrician, but I never felt that he did anything more than necessary. It is true that I had to undress down to my underwear, but he only had me exposed as long as necessary. When I was 14 he started giving me a gown to wear.

When my mom would take me to the doctor, there was a nurse named Heather. I recall rectal temperatures from her, and my mom would comment that I wanted to marry Nurse Heather when I was like 2 years old. I wonder if it was obvious that I loved anal stimulation back then. When I got older, I thought that Heather was kinda cute.

There was a nurse who probably took advantage of me.

I had periodic doctors visits for X-rays and scopes after an impaction / bowel damage I had in middle school. Usually my mom went with me and awkwardly stayed in the exam room. On two occasions my mom had a conflict and my dad brought me, but probably not wanting to witness his son experience that stuff, or give me my privacy, he chose to stay in the waiting room.

The nurse decided I needed additional enemas despite the ones I had gotten in preparation. She also cited other outlier prior incidents in my chart to restrain me and use a retention nozzle. The retention nozzle was nothing new but I was apprehensive about being restrained. Ultimately I thought I had to comply because she was in charge and a medical professional. She strapped me into a knee chest position. I was familiar with the position but now being stuck in it added an extra layer of vulnerability. She lubed me with one finger first, then two fingers saying I was tense and she didn't want the nozzle to hurt me. I took her for her word at these subtle differences, but also as a boy in puberty who was very green it did feel good.

It felt like she inflated the retention nozzle a LOT and when the water started flowing it wasn't long before I was squirming with a look of discomfort. She approached my rear and told me this might help make the enema easier. I felt her grab the nozzle and the balloon inside of me started to rotate back and forth. It was like a jolt went through me never having felt something like that before and I immediately felt a tingle between my legs. I was, however, completely distracted from my enema. She asked if that felt any better and I managed to squeak out a yes in-between trying to hold back involuntary moans.

Well she did not stop rotating. All the while trying to make small talk with me about my bowel condition, what I was feeling, my enemas at home. I did my best to answer but felt very distracted. Finally I felt something building up inside me and I tried warning her but she told me “it was ok, I was doing great” and just kept rotating. I came on the exam table and still she didn't stop, but I had all but forgotten about my enema. It just kept feeling more intense until the enema bag was finally empty and I was exhausted. All 4 of her enemas across two visits with my dad in the waiting room went like that.

The rest of the appointment when the doctor joined went as expected, just those times alone with her felt fishy but also really good so I didn't have the courage to say anything.

To me there is the other side of the coin, and that is some parents and in my case , mom trusted a bit too much in the medical system, hospitals and doctors. At least to a degree until a situation took place ( not abuse but mishandling) as you’ll see.

I was never abused by a medical person at any time but it bothered me that with my mom, it was often, “‘oh yes, doctor “, or almost giving support and deference to them. I ways wanted to yell, ” Stop! it! Stop being so damn approving!” I never did though.

That Said, it wasn’t abuse-but the way a procedure was done to me. I was in the hospital and a nurse came in the room I was in where vitals were to be taken. Bring a pediatric ward, temperatures were done rectally. That didn’t bother me. Had it at home, so…

The gruff manner and the way she started to do the procedure caught my mom’s attention and ire; the manner in which this nurse went about taking my temperature. It angered my mother and she stopped it. My mother wound up taking my temperature.

Again, I was never abused and I feel for those who were.

The gruff manner and the way she started to do the procedure caught my mom’s attention and ire; the manner in which this nurse went about taking my temperature. It angered my mother and she stopped it. My mother wound up taking my temperature.

This is so important. Parents should advocate for their children, especially in the oft authoritative medical setting. Great job mom!

When my son at 10 years old needed to see a specialist in urology at a famous children's hospital, I did not allow the student doctors to do extra exams before the famous doctor arrived. It was traumatic enough, no need to do it a few times.

I don’t think it’s limited to pediatricians I have felt like I was exposed too long or left completely exposed while a doctor, nurse or tech left the room or someone came in the room while exposed for questionable reasons. I do think doctors, nurses, and other medical professionals and paraprofessionals have gotten somewhat better at trying to preserve modesty and privacy but mistakes can happen. I think more of a problem now is the use of chaperones, scribes, or some type of student or resident there watching while you are completely exposed.

I think more of a problem now is the use of chaperones, scribes, or some type of student or resident there watching while you are completely exposed.

Can't have it both ways.

Chaperones are supposed to be there to witness that nothing untoward goes on during an exam, but the corollary is that they get to watch the exam and person being examined. But if that causes problems, then what to do?

This is what happens when a culture of distrust and ever increasing prudery starts spiralling out of hand. Everyone's motives become suspect and there goes yet more minute, but steady chipping away and weakening of the wall that constitutes the bonds of trust in a civil society.

Can't have it both ways.

Chaperones are supposed to be there to witness that nothing untoward goes on during an exam, but the corollary is that they get to watch the exam and person being examined. But if that causes problems, then what to do?

This is what happens when a culture of distrust and ever increasing prudery starts spiralling out of hand. Everyone's motives become suspect and there goes yet more minute, but steady chipping away and weakening of the wall that constitutes the bonds of trust in a civil society.

Civil society? That died a long time ago.

Here in Midwest, USA, every parent whose children grew up with my children, went into the examination room with the child/children. Partially as chaperones, but more as part of the diagnostic procedure, and if I could get off work we both went into the exam room. Minor children, especially younger ones, seldom can verbalize symptoms well enough to aid in their own health care, or tell relatives precisely what happened in the room.

Same when I was a child - Mom or Dad accompanied us into the exam room even though the only doctor in town was a family friend. A parent or legal guardian, then as now, protects both the minor child and doctor/staff.

Today, my wife sometimes wants me in the exam room with her - new doc or old - and the one doctor who questioned our practice did not get to even start the exam. And I've asked her to accompany me, especially when it was suspected I had a cancer. It is called mutual support in trying times.

Anyone concerned about a doctor's thoroughness or any other actions during an exam of themselves or their minor children, should be asking questions of the doctor, their staff, other patients and state licensing agencies.

I don’t think it’s limited to pediatricians I have felt like I was exposed too long or left completely exposed while a doctor, nurse or tech left the room or someone came in the room while exposed for questionable reasons.

@GregB what would be a questionable reason to be nude in your eyes?

I know back in the 70's and 80's exams were much different. I am not sure what exams are like for kids, but my small town pediatrician certainly took his time with my genital exam and being that I have a sensitive penis, I would get hard and ejaculate most of the exams. To me it felt like forever as he would examine my penis and talk to my mother while doing the exam. It was very embarrassing.

I can't deny there aren't bad apples who go into the speciality to satisfy their desires such as Earl Bradley. However I don't think historical exams which wouldn't fly by modern standards should be confused with taking advantage.

I have said elsewhere I had first pelvic exam at 14 at end of what I had assumed was a routine checkup. It never felt traumatic or abusive and I liked my old pediatrician.

I wouldnt have allowed it with my own kids but it wasnt unsual practice in my time.

Thoroughness and taking advantage are not inter changable terms.