What embarrassing questions were you asked during a medical exam?

Many times that I’ve recently gone to the ER, they ask all patients upon arrival, whether they plan to harm themselves or others, during the screening process. Personally, I find that it’s an extremely offensive and inappropriate question, that’s based on assumptions. It was likely incorporated into their screening questionnaire by an attorney or psychologist, for liability reasons.

"I was 13 years old, standing naked in front of the pediatrician, my mother was present and he asked me if I had already had my first ejaculation."

"At 17 when my doctor asked if I was sexually active with my dad in the room."

"When I was 14, and he had pulled down my undies for the genital exam, he asked my mom if I had started having nocturnal emissions yet, and she said no."

I don’t know why a doctor would ask some of those questions with a parent in the room if they want an honest answer. Not many 13 year old boys or girls would admit to being sexually active in front of a parent. By the time you’re twelve they should start weaning you off accompanied routine exams by asking the parent to step out at a certain point, and parents should expect this.

Obviously if they are seeing you for something serious the parent should be present or at least informed.

Many times that I’ve recently gone to the ER, they ask all patients upon arrival, whether they plan to harm themselves or others, during the screening process. Personally, I find that it’s an extremely offensive and inappropriate question, that’s based on assumptions.

Not only that, but why admit you were planning on hurting someone else? Who is going to give an honest answer to such a question?

Doctors, especially pediatricians, seem to like asking these questions when we were standing nude in front of our moms during our physical exams. They almost seemed to enjoy this dynamic. My pediatrician, who I went to until the end of high school, always with my mother in the exam room, seemed to wait until I was standing nude in front of them as he examined my genitals to ask such questions.

As I posted in another thread here, I think my pediatrician had read this paper:

https://www.researchgate.net/publication/44652130_Age_at_first_ejaculation_spermarche_-_The_overlooked_milestone_in_male_development

because he always would do exactly what the paper advised -- ask my mom and me about ejaculation while he had my undies down for my genital exam.

It's a good time to ask that question, because at that point, you have nothing left to hide. No reason to lie.

I agree, though, that asking about sexual activity or drugs or high-risk behavior in front of a parent pretty much guarantees a lie if such activity is in fact happening. But when the question is purely about your own sexual development, naked in front of a parent is probably the ideal time to ask.

Not only that, but why admit you were planning on hurting someone else? Who is going to give an honest answer to such a question?

I volunteered for 5 years as a street pastor.

One night I saw a young female sitting on a bench looking out on the water. I had a feeling I should talk to her, so whilst the rest of my team ( 2 others) looked on from a distance, I went up and asked if I could sit next to her.

She shrugged in a non committal sort of way. As I sat I introduced myself ( I just told her my name).

After a couple minutes of silence she asked me if I had heard of autism.

I explained my son is autistic. She seemed to relax, than explained both her brother and dad were autistic, and she was struggling as her mum had left them.

Than she asked what I was doing at that time of night. I explained the role of a street pastor was to make sure people were safe on a night out. And to offer time to strangers as we live in a world we're no one seems to have time.

After some more small talk she admitted she wanted to kill herself.

It took another 20 minutes or so before so allowed me to call an ambulance, whilst on the phone, she was asked, " are you in danger of harming yourself or someone else" she paused before replying " only myself "

Long story short, the ambulance arrived within 10 minutes of me making the call.

So yes, I think if someone is at rock bottom. They do answer that question honestly.

My pediatrician, who I went to until the end of high school, always with my mother in the exam room, seemed to wait until I was standing nude in front of them as he examined my genitals to ask such questions.

It's a good time to ask that question, because at that point, you have nothing left to hide. No reason to lie.

Or maybe it is bad idea to so humiliate/embarrass someone in that position. Since they have nothing left to loose, why not just as well lie? It might even make them so angry and resentful they might not say anything at all. Or lie for all it's worth.

If you were treated so disrespectfully and intentionally embarrassed in such a manner, I don't think those two adults have any right to expect a truthful answer to such questions. A doctor alone, yes. But with a parent present?

Somehow this manner of thinking that humiliating someone into telling the truth is what was very well portrayed in the opening scenes of the movie 'Zero Dark Thirty'. A terror suspect is tortured and also degraded in a particularly odious manner. It doesn't work in getting him to talk.

Obviously an exam with parent present isn't enhanced interrogation, but humiliating someone is not always the best way to go. Not in real life anyway.

If a doctor deliberately waits until you are naked to tell the truth then there is no trust. Personally, I think it is irresponsible to talk to teens and tweens about their sexual organs and what they might be doing with them while they are naked. It is even worse if they do it in front of a parent. It just proves that the doctor hasn’t established a rapport or trust with their young patient.

All these discussions should happen when the patient is clothed, even with adult patients.

When I was an early teen the doctor wouldn't go beyond having me shirtless. When it came time to drop my pants and the rest... the doctor would instruct my Mom to leave the room. He would always say, "the rest is all guys stuff only!"

I’d say the questions surrounding being sexually active or what sexual or what sexually orientation you are. Mostly as a teen or young adult.

“Are you sexually active?”

“Men, women or both? “

“Do you use protection?”

“ what kind?”

Going to the pediatrician, and I hated the way he asked “How are your poops and pees”. And later asking “Are you sexually active? Are you having thoughts of becoming sexually active?”

I was too naive at the time!