Not making a universal declaration here, this is just me and i see kinks and connection as very individual, not a generally applied method or idea.
That said...
my kinks are connected to real needs and desires, i despise 'role play.' To me (again, only speaking for myself here) "role play" is a denial of reality, it's acting. To me, "acting" is playing is not real.
i cannot imagine a relationship or scenario where i'd truly perceive myself as needing punishment from another person. "Discipline" that has roots in punishment seems fake to me as well, because i cannot imagine a relationship where i'd truly see another in a superior position, where i honestly see them as superior and me deserving of being punished by them. i know there are those who see themselves on either side of this slash, i don't.
Here's where it gets tricky lol.
i am a total bottom with some sub. i am deeply aroused and will bond to a Man Who uses what i perceive as "affectionate, lustful (even needful) degradation/humiliation." i qualify "affectionate/lustful/needful" because that is Their manifest reason that i connect to, not meanness, bullying, force.
For me, there's an apparent paradox, because i am simultaneously deeply aroused and nurtured, and also experience feelings of degradation and humiliation. my nurtured arousal deepens when He is purposely influencing those things in me with a combination of affectionate lust/need on His part. To me, the "affection" is born out of His gratitude that someone like me exists to nurture His lusts and needs. It's symbiotic, not what i see as imbalanced.
i see enemas in this context. For whatever reason/s, enemas can arouse me while also evoking feelings of degradation and humiliation when done as by a Man as described above. i don't feel punished though, i feel loved and nurtured and embarrassed, degraded and humiliated at the same time. If His intent is to 'make' me feel those things out of force or meanness, it doesn't happen. If His intent is to uncover and evoke those things, He is in control... and getting fed by His own power and control using those things in me.
There may be feelings that are often associated with punishment (humiliation, embarrassment, degradation), which adds to the mind fuck of it, but it's different.