Sometimes fantasies are better left as that.
We tried meeting another couple, several years ago. First there were the many coffees, lunches, drinks, dinners we went to after a few online meets and email exchanges to see if we were compatible.
Once we deemed similar interests, we would meet in person. Oh the stories. Too many times they were 100% inexperienced. One partner wasn't really into it, they were not just new to the scene they were 100% vanilla. Inexperience brings potential injury and disappointment.
What I have found if it is not your trusted partner, you have to approach fantasies with an experienced person with very similar expectations. Belonging to the kink community in my area allows me to tap into a plethora of kinky people with myriad of kink skills, e.g., needle play, rope, etc. I also have male subs that I play with on a regular basis. We ALWAYS discuss a little bit of what we both expect.
I am fortunate my husband will try and fulfill most of my fantasies by himself or bring in another play partner but there is dialog before hand.
My fantasy, the one that cannot be fulfilled is my snowbird neighbor. There are things I would love for him (with his wife directing/helping/encouraging) to do to my body that I know will NEVER happen. This is due to several reasons, but one, I do not know if he is The Dom in real life, as THE DOM he is in my own mind. Even if it were possible, a sexual liaison with him, I do NOT think he would fulfill my fantasy. Which in part, is to be an extremely demanding sexual partner, using my body mainly for his pleasure.
The take away, your expectations would have to be reworked to be realistic. In bdsm safe, sane, consensual and you negotiate. I believe this is where beginners fail. Experienced kinky people will negotiate terms and talk through likes and dislikes, know their boundaries etc. LT