As a gay man, do you deliberately seek out gay doctors and dentists when choosing a doctor?
Yes, I do. It isn't that I think a gay professional is better than a straight professional. And it isn't that I want some erotic fantasy fulfilled. I have this feeling that I want to keep the money "in the family." All things being equal - service quality, product quality - I will choose to support a business that supports me and my community. I live in Houston, Texas where my doctor, dentist, lawyer, CPA, home builder, handyman, and several other service providers are gay.
I don’t personally. I do try to choose doctors who are friendly to me and open minded about lgbt people in general though. I like to be able to talk about my life and dating men with people who provide me services, rather that be a doctor, dentist, chiropractor, trainer, hair stylist, etc. Typically I just sorta feel it out if I’m seeing someone new for the first time, because you often times don’t know if they’re gay or not, or accepting. For example my dentist is perfectly fine caring for me as a gay man, I didn’t know that before I saw her the first time. My chiropractor on the other hand advertises on his practices website that he is lgbt friendly. If I’m unsure I try it and feel it out, if I get a bad feeling I don’t go back. I have a lot of great doctors and other service providers that aren’t gay, and I love working with them. Acceptance is key, that’s just my thoughts though.
No, but I would never choose a female doctor or a male doctor who is younger than me if the consultation is going to involve removal of any clothing.
@ipmilat saidNo, but I would never choose a female doctor or a male doctor who is younger than me if the consultation is going to involve removal of any clothing.
At your age of 60+, you are going to find that option going away pretty soon.
What kind of exam do you think you will have if NO clothing is removed?
I chose my doctor about 40-50 years ago because he was younger, hoping he would outlast me. Alas I had to find a new one anyway. This time I chose a female.
Yep, true, I'm aware of that. While I still have the choice, I'll exercise it. In any case, most doctors in the UK seem to rely on blood tests (or telepathy) rather than physical exams.
As a gay man, I do find that seeking out a gay doctor as my Primary Care Physician. Why? For me, it's about being open and the conversations I can freely discuss without embarrassment. I have had my primary for over 20 years. He is 2 years older than me. We can joke about things and be frank and honest without judgment. At this point, it's kinda like a friendship and very casual. (No nothing sexual but man can we joke about a lot). The best thing my doc said to me was "I don't care what you do I just want to know what you do so that if there is an issue I know how to treat and fix it". He's seen it all and his practice is in a gay neighborhood.
As a gay man, I do find that seeking out a gay doctor as my Primary Care Physician. Why? For me, it's about being open and the conversations I can freely discuss without embarrassment.
That makes a lot of sense!! I don't have a problem discussing sexual issues with my Dr(s)....but a lot of people do. I can see where it would be easier for a gay guy to be more comfortable with a gay Doctor.
When I was looking for a new doctor, I asked other gay men in my area for suggestions. I wanted a doctor that I could be open with and talk to. I didnt want a doctor who was going to judge me. Luckily for me he is great. Plus, he is good looking!
I've always wanted to find a gay male doctor but haven't had any luck.
Although I understand your reasoning, I think that you are looking at this in the wrong way. Personally I have never sought out a 'gay doctor' but just wanted one I could talk to and explain either my symptoms or what I felt unhappy with. By chance my current doctor, who is probably not English, but possibly British, is in his 30s and handsome to me. Having said that, I just want someone I can talk to and confide in. His sexuality has not come into our relationship as patient and doctor, and I hope never will. I have never gone to see him just to have a chat. I think that I may have covered part of this response in a previous reply.
I wouldn't have the slightest notion of how to go about finding out the sexual orientation of a doctor. The only thing I can think of would be via word of mouth.
In a way I think it might be interesting and perhaps easier to discuss various issues with a gay doctor, even if you, as a male were straight. I surmise it would have something to do with empathy and the famed lack of judgement that men are known for when it comes to sexual matters.
The more I think about this topic the more I wonder if there is a generational component at play here. As one of the "older gays" who lived through the worst part of the AIDS crisis and saw over 70 friends/co-workers/acquaintances die, I wonder if this might be why I seek out a doctor who is also gay. During those years - 1984-ish through the early 1990s - I was afraid of doctors and nurses and how they might react if they knew I was gay. Back then you were "guilty until proven innocent" and even though I was always HIV Negative, there was an awful stigma to being young and gay. Maybe I sought out gay doctors so that the possibility of rejection was less. I can't say that this is the case for anyone else, but this topic really got me thinking of when and why I started gravitating toward gay docs and I think I might have found my answer.
Today, all these years later, I stay with gay doctors to "keep the money in the family." All things being equal - the doctor's education and credential - I would much rather give my money to someone in my own community. This is also why my dentist is gay, my "handyman" is gay, my housekeeper is gay, my insurance agent, my barber, my CPA, and my attorney are all gay. Wow, I think I'm seeing a pattern here! :-)
Have a good weekend everyone!
My current primary care physician is gay. I hadn't had a gay physician before, but when I was looking to switch practices a couple years ago (mostly due to the difficulty of getting an appointment at the practice I was with previously, not due to any problems I had with the practitioners there) I decided to look for a doctor who listed LGBT issues as a particular area of focus. I figured this would make conversations about sexual health a bit easier to have. Many years ago I had a memorable experience where an older male doctor was clearly uncomfortable (and seemed judgmental) discussing my sexual history, and I wanted to avoid this situation in the future.
I wouldn't need to know whether my doctor was gay or not, as long as they had communicated some familiarity and openness to understanding the health issues likely to be encountered by gay men. But during the "rapport building" phase of our first exam, at a point where it could come up naturally, he mentioned recently moving to the area with his husband. This was a simple, casual way of letting me know that he'd be more understanding of any sexual health issues related to being a gay man.
Some are straight allies, but I found my favorite doctor ever (gay and not much older than me) via GLMA.org -- it depends greatly on where you live, as I found out after moving across the country.
NO My primary concern is the best medical care possible. If he happens to be gay, all the better but that plays about 2% in my decision making process. In choosing a doctor I am up front about my sexual preference. The conversation goes from there. I have several friends who are doctors and are gay. They feel the same way. Care comes first. We all love to fantasize about that extra long digital exam and perhaps the doctor recommending an enema in his office but, according to my friend, it just doesn't happen. Digitals and other more intimate exams are so common place with most doctors that sometimes it becomes more of a turn off than a turn on.
I work in the medical field so I know which docs to avoid. I seek out the ones all the nurses recommend.
I run into the issue of finding a "kink friendly" doctor, especially a urologist. My original urologist and his replacement both know of my need for testicular play (kicking and hitting) and warn of a possible surgery down the road. I am now curious about "electro ejaculation" in my state.
I came out while I was seeing a doctor in a clinic near my house. I was fairly happy with him until I told him that I had come out as gay and wanted healthcare best suited to a person of my identity and orientation. His response was that Jesus wasn't okay with that. Last time I saw that guy.
Maybe as a gut response, I actually did find a gay family nurse practitioner as my next primary care provider. Unfortunately, as a FNP he doesn't have a lot of experience with some of the conditions I'm dealing with. My husband is seeing a new PCP who seems to be cool with a married gay patient, so I'm considering making the leap so that we both see the same guy.
Maybe I've learned a lesson to look for doctors based on medical training and skill rather than just looking for someone in the same tribe.
I can honestly say that I do not seek out a gay doctor. I had a gay doctor as my primary physician; who retired and is now deceased. Simply said; I didn't mind him examining me at all!
I don't seek out doctors who are gay, but when I last had to select a PCP when my insurance changed, I really wanted a doctor who was gay friendly. I've always felt a lot of anxiety coming out to my doctors. Finding someone who self-identified as gay friendly made that first visit so much easier to open up and talk about me and my health history. My doctor being gay isn't important--but their being knowledgeable and having the vocabulary to have the conversations that are best tailored to my health needs is.
As a gay man I have had a gay general practitioner a long time ago, he was easy to talk to about our lifestyle. He also had a male nurse which made it comfortable. I have not been able to find a gay doctor but mine currently is gay friendly and very easy to talk to. He told me his best friend is gay and that sort of broke the ice.
I do seek out gay doctors. I feel more comfortable around people who are like me. I tried too damn long to fit in with straight guys. I wasted lots of money going to strip clubs with them never once getting aroused by the female strippers. I don't care if my dentist or eye doctor is male or female, or gay or straight, but I want a gay doctor for more intimate exams.
Yes. I seek out gay doctors. i want to be open and uninhibited in my discussions with my doctor. especially when it comes to discussions of gay sex. i want him to be experienced and understand the concerns of a sexually active gay man.
I do not specify seek out a gay doctor, but finding a healthcare provider that is LGBT friendly is certainly my desire.
No real personal preference. But I definitely don’t want an attractive guy examining me intimately! I’d be worried about developing an unwanted erection.
As a gay man, I do try to seek out a gay or at least a gay friendly doctor, although not because I think they do a better job. They are just ones that I feel most comfortable with if gay health issues should ever come up. I feel they can relate better, especially if around my same age in the life cycle. I believe one must have a doctor that one feels most comfortable with or the exams are meaningless and worthless.
Not quite. Most of my doctors are actually women and I'm not aware whether the male doctors I've visited are gay or not. But I talk openly about the fact that I have a male partner and never felt judged, so I know I can be open with them, which is what I really want. The fact that the doctor himself is gay wouldn't guarantee that I can communicate well with him.
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