Men, chaperone watching or not?

For males with female providers and female chaperones, how common is it for the chaperone to watch the genital exam? I had an interesting experience today and am curious what real nurses/chaperones/medical pros think.

Every year my NP brings a chaperone in for the genital exam, who sits off to the side seemingly uninterested with maybe the occasional glimpse. Every time the same thing happens to me: I get nervous and experience major shrinkage. I'm a shower so my penis hangs about 6 inches. But as the exam proceeds, I rapidly shrink to about an inch.

This time, as the NP entered the room with the same chaperone as usual, the chaperone murmured something and they excused themselves for a minute. The NP came back with a different chaperone, a receptionist who I had been having a nice chat with and joking earlier. The NP asked "do you mind if Lxxx watches?" I said no of course, and we laughed.

Then Lxxx stood next to the doctor and literally watched the entire exam with her eyes focused on my penis except for occasional glances up at me. The NP took longer than usual and even apologized for "how cold it is in here." I felt like this was an obvious reference to my shrinkage and she was trying to be reassuring although maybe a bit having a joke. When she asked if Lxxx could watch, I assumed she was talking about having a new chaperone present. But I guess she literally meant watch. Can't help but feel that the chaperones and NP had discussed my shrinkage amongst themselves, and considered it an interesting thing to watch. I guess it is, so I don't really mind, just a bit funny. When I left later the receptionist gave me a really big smile.

Technically if the chaperone isn't watching then they are not doing their job.

They are there to protect the dr as much as the patient.

If a patient accuses the dr of misconduct during the genital exam the chaperone can say that the exam was conducted properly.

If in cross examination it transpires the chaperone was at the other end of the exam room not watching the malpractice lawyer will easily tear the chaperone apart because they couldn't see if conduct was improper or not.

The chaperone is more then just someone to offer patient a chat and distraction.

If in cross examination it transpires the chaperone was at the other end of the exam room not watching the malpractice lawyer will easily tear the chaperone apart because they couldn't see if conduct was improper or not.

'In cross-examination?' I think some people watch too many crime and courtroom shows on TV. I expect my life to be one in which I never appear in a courtroom in any manner, neither as a witness, defendant or plaintiff (or jury member for that member). That just isn't a realistic expectation in the world I live in. I don't live in a contentious or litigious society. Common sense usually reigns.

It sort of makes me feel anxious when people in the US talk like this or about an expectation of being arrested and put in jail during their life at some point. Scary actually.

Of the exams I've had with a chaperone present (two I can think of), neither seemed to want to watch or to be there and neither be in a position to really see anything. These were females with female chaperones. Of the six different female doctors or NP over the years, I can't help but wonder why only two wanted a chaperone (one was from a different major medical group and maybe that was standard practice for them)? The other thing is.....if the MD did something that was inappropriate (unlikely I know) would the chaperone that is employed by the clinic/firm side with me ? Seems unlikely, unless it was really wrong. Maybe it might be more appropriate for a male chaperone..............after all you won't find a male MD doing a female exam with a male chaperone!

I have only had the experience of a chaperone being present in the exam room once during an examination. This was a number of years ago in an office I was sent to for a preemployment exam. The doctor was a middle aged Caucasian male who kept his female nurse in the room throughout the exam. It really added a lot to the anxiety and embarrassment I felt during the exam and was terrible to go through but has given me tremendous pleasure thinking back about it over the years since it occurred. I do not know how others feel about it, but I find it embarrassing for staff members in the doctor's office to know what I have been through just because they know why I am there and what the doctor's routine is, but to have someone present to witness the proceedings and actually hear the doctor instruct me and see me submit is incredibly humiliating. Not to mention the fact that this particular female nurse actually watched the examination and got an unobstructed view of my genitalia and my anus since she positioned herself to have a full view of my body. And, as I was about to lower my briefs to expose the genitalia, I looked up and made eye contact with her to ascertain that she was looking at my penis. She was looking directly at my genitals. Afterwards, when I thought back about the experience,I was glad I had confirmed that she was looking at my penis. I am glad she looked at it because it increased the arousal value of the memory but it sure was embarrassing at the moment!

Technically if the chaperone isn't watching then they are not doing their job.

I see, that makes sense. Just seemed odd because Lxxx watched much more closely than the usual chaperone. And there were many other staff they could've chosen other than the receptionist. When they went to get her, do you think they might have told her to watch closely? Or does each chaperone just choose their own protocol?

I wouldn't allow a doctor to examin me with someone I didnt know in the room. Not happening!

Technically if the chaperone isn't watching then they are not doing their job. They are there to protect the dr as much as the patient.

I agree 100% that the reason for a chaperone is to protect the doctor (and the practice) -- not the patient. But I don't agree that they have to watch everything in order to do their job. My current doctor (female) does not use a chaperone and never has since I've been seeing her. But in the past, I've had other female doctors that have used chaperones. Some come into the room and intently watch the genital, hernia and prostate exam, since that's usually the part when their presence is required. Others come into the room, face the counter and pretend to be busy reviewing my chart or making notes while the doctor does her exam. I believe just the presence of a chaperone is enough to legally defend the doctor if I were to say she did something inappropriate. I don't think watching is a necessity. After all, if my doctor starts to molest me in some way, the chaperone would be there to hear the conversation and could turn around at any moment. My doctor isn't likely to take that chance.

In my experience it has been "hit or miss" - when my primary care physician was male, he never had a chaperone in the room. When my primary care physician was female, only once did she have a chaperone in the room - and she had to leave to go get her because I complained of testicular pain. When the nurse practitioner did my physical, she never had a chaperone present. Oddly enough, when my male urologist did my exam, he did have a female assistant present - but I doubt it was as a chaperone. She was always present whether there was an exam or just a consult. With the dermatologist, yes, the certified medical assistant was present for the whole exam.

Years ago I went with my then boyfriend while he was getting his exam and we checked in at the desk with the receptionist. She was really cute and I could tell my boyfriend was checking her out. When we sat down to wait I gave him a little abuse for being so obvious. He, of course, denied it and said he was only being friendly. Pretty soon the nurse came out and took him inside. I didn't go with him, but now wish I had.

After he was in there for a little while the nurse came out and spoke to the receptionist and she got up and went in the back while the nurse sat at a desk near hers and took out her lunch. I didn't think anything of it at the time, but a little while later the receptionist came back out and she and the nurse whispered to each other for a moment. Again I didn't think anything about it then, but soon my boyfriend came out and he looked rather red with embarrassment.

He went over to the receptionist to check out and this time he was looking at the floor and was saying nothing. When we got outside he told me what had happened. The doctor was a woman and had the nurse in the room during the exam. At some point in the middle of the exam the nurse called the doctor over and asked her something quietly. The doctor said okay and the nurse left the room. During the time the nurse was out of the room the doctor added information to the chart while my boyfriend sat on the table in his undies. Then the door opened and in walked the receptionist. My boyfriend said he was totally embarrassed, but not as embarrassed as when the doctor asked him to stand up and pull down his underwear. Then with the doctor sitting in front of him and the receptionist standing behind her watching, she did a very through exam of his stuff. He said he tried his best not to look at the receptionist while this was going on, but he finally looked up to see if she was watching and when he saw that she was he got an instant hard-on!

The doctor and the receptionist were both very professional about it and the doctor reassured him it was normal, but I do think I heard a few giggles when the receptionist was whispering to the nurse after she came out.

The doctor and the receptionist were both very professional about it and the doctor reassured him it was normal, but I do think I heard a few giggles when the receptionist was whispering to the nurse after she came out.

Thanks for sharing...good to know this kind of talk amongst staff is more common than I thought.

Had a nurse in the same room as the doctor during my immigration exam but she left before the 2nd part were I had to be full naked

@Margo921: I feel sorry for him. HEHEHE

I've never had a chaperone with a female dr., NP or PA.

I've had med students or fellow sit in on the exams, but if not that, none of them have ever called someone in to witness.

@molliewhite : I agree with you and it begs the question of what the chaperones were doing while in the room when Dr. Nasar was abusing patients.

@Mike36: I seriously doubt anyone was interested in seeing you shrink lol.

The few times I was examined by a female practitioner, there was never a chaperone present.

When I was around 12 I had to switch to another doctor as our doctor retired. It's the first time that I had to be undressed in front of a nurse along with a parent. Let's just say I wasn't happy and very shy and bashful when told to undress and worse when my briefs were removed. I had a full exam, which meant RT, heart, lungs, reflexes and genital/hernia inspection. I left in tears likely due to having to receive two shots - one in the arm and the other in my butt.

Sometimes the nurse will stay in the room to assist if needed, if she is in the room she will stand watching the whole thing.

My female dermatologist always has a female medical assistant present when she does a full body check. The assistant always has a laptop and makes notes from what the Dr. says. I am always completely nude during her exam. I guess her presence is two-fold; to make notes and to act as a witness for the Dr. I have no problem with her presence.

Just like jimmy, my derm has an assistant with a laptop. I actually feel self-conscious, because the assistant is usually younger and judgy. That entire office has extremely judgy support staff, with the stares they give you.

I just started seeing a new doctor, a female. When I went to my first appointment with her, I was tied up in traffic and arrived late, so another doctor ended up seeing me, also female.

The nurse who showed me to the exam room was female. She did initial questions with me, then checked blood pressure, and took my temperature. Then, she asked me to undress and put on a gown, and she left the room. When she came back, I was wearing only the gown, and she had me step on the scale, and measured my height. She then left, telling me the doctor would be in to see me soon.

When the doctor came in, it was just her and me. I was there for a follow-up after I'd been in the hospital for a couple days, a week or so earlier for a skin infection in my legs. The doctor checked me over, had me lower the gown so she could listen to my heart and breathing, and checked my legs. She then said she wanted my primary doctor to come in, and went to get her. They both were with me discussing my progress in recovering, and recommending that I schedule another appointment for a regular physical before leaving the office, since I've not had one with them yet.

So, I had three females see me during this visit, and the only time more than one professional was with me was when the two female doctors were there. No one ever asked me about a chaperone, and I was just fine with this. I'll see if that will be different when I go back for the physical in a few weeks.

After 20 years in the Marines, I can count the number of times a female doctor brought in a chaperone during my physical. I’m a civilian now and my current female GP, doesn’t have a chaperone come into the room.

(This is an experience a friend of mine shared with me after a recent physical. I thought it was exciting but he is too shy to post it himself. So here it is.)

I was having my third annual physical exam by a female nurse practitioner to whom I had been referred by a male coworker. I had turned 54 this year and have been lucky to have no health problems. I have always hated physicals dating back to preteen years when my stepmom forced me to switch to a female pediatrician who was a friend of hers. My stepmother was a woman who liked to dominate men and enjoyed enforcing her will on me. I was always uncomfortable being examined by a female and the only reason I decided to go to this female NP was my friend’s strong recommendation. I have always dreaded the genital, hernia, and rectal exams, regardless of the examiner’s gender, but after going through them with this same lady for two years, I was feeling a little more comfortable. I knew the routine, the words she used to instruct on the genital exposure, and her exam process.

I always make an early morning appointment because you usually get seen on time. I arrived a few minutes early dressed for work in dress shirt, slacks with a belt, and loafers. I was thinking as I sat in the waiting room that I was a bit more calm than usual when I am getting a physical. “Mark.” I looked up to see a nurse or medical assistant looking in my direction. “Are you ready to come on back?” I was ready to get this over with for another year so I stood up and briskly walked toward the door she held open. She led me down the hallway to an area where a scale was located. She told me to take my shoes off and step on the scale. After my weight, I put my shoes back on and followed her to a exam room. “Take off your shirt and have a seat on the table.” I complied and she took vital signs and then did an EKG. “Alright, now I need you to undress to your undershorts, here is a gown if you want it, and Ms. Powers will be with you. After taking off my slacks, shoes, and socks, I sat back up on the table wearing only my white Hanes briefs. I decided to forego the gown since I always find them more awkward and the nurse practitioner has seen me naked a couple of times already.

After a few minutes wait, the NP knocked and came in. She greeted me, asked how I had been feeling, and if there were any health issues since I last saw her. Then she hit me with “I have a nursing student shadowing me this month. You wouldn’t mind if she observed, would you?” She positioned it in a way that made it awkward to decline, so, I agreed. The NP opened the door and told the person outside to come in. In walks a young girl around 20 years old who was decent looking. She was dressed like the NP in a white lab coat but had on blue scrubs rather than slacks like the NP always wore. “Mark, this is Heather. She’s a third year nursing student.” I was thinking what a bad idea it had been to agree to having this girl in the room for my physical! Too late now. The student took a place next to the door about five feet from me. I was sitting on the end of the exam table so she was looking at my right shoulder. The wall was close to me on my left and the sink and cabinet were at the foot of the table a few feet away. The NP worked from in front of me and from my right side over where the student was standing. She looked in my eyes, ears, throat, felt my neck, and checked my reflexes. Then, she put on her stethoscope and listened to my heart and lungs. (I was thinking about the genital exam. She had done it with me standing at the foot of the table so that would mean the student would not be able to see my genitals. It would be embarrassing having her witness it but at least she would not get a look at my penis.) the. She had me lie back as she pulled out the foot extension on the table. As she auscultated and then palpated my abdomen, the panic began setting in. We all know what comes next! She moved to the glove box on the counter and gloved up. She walked to the side of the table on my right and I heard “Stand right here and go ahead and pull down your underwear. Standing in front of her my hands were shaking as I reached for my waistband and, with a sick feeling in y stomach and my head spinning, I pulled down the front of my Hanes presenting my genitalia to the two women. I noticed the student looking right at my genitals. “Now when a man is not circumcised, it is important to be sure his foreskin will retract” as she retracted my foreskin and the shiny purple head came into view. She looked over the head briefly and then replaced the foreskin over the glans. Then I felt her hands on each of my testicles as the student also looked on. “Turn your head to the right and cough, again.” “Now turn around and bend over the table.” I heard her squeeze KY onto her glove and I felt the spreading of my buttocks and then her finger went in. “Ok, you can stand up and use this tissue. We are all done. Your lab results will be on the portal in a few days and I will see you next year.” I wiped the KY out from my crack and off my hole as I thought about the humiliation I had just endured. I got dressed and took the walk of shame though the hallway, back out through the waiting room, and out the door wondering what the NP and student were saying about me exam.

I rushed home and masturbated to the memory of the exam, thinking about that student seeing me in my Hanes and then seeing my penis and watching as the foreskin was retracted. I wondered if it was the first uncircumcised penis she had seen.

I’ve never had just an exam performed by a female doctor but every ultrasound I’ve had of my testicles has been done by two female techs. They said it was for training purposes but I could see the reasoning behind having a chaperone as well.

I’ve had only chaperone twice but only once for the entire exam.

First time: Towards the end of the exam the same nurse I had earlier enter the room. I’m told to “hop down and drop your underwear” as I’m standing there the nurse an unobstructed view of me. After the doctor finished putting on his gloves he rolled in front of me on his little stool. He checked my genitals, foreskin and hernia check. Finally, she had to witness me provide a urine sample.

Second time: This physical I was between 20-22, this was my first female doctor and a chaperone for the entire physical. For me, it was rather embarrassing because this nurse was my friends mom going back to high school. At this doctors office you always strip down to just your underwear no gowns. So, I undressed to my underwear instead of boxers this day I was wearing my white “tighty-whities” briefs. During the exam I really didn’t care there was another person watching my exam. Truly, the most embarrassing portion was having to stand up and pull my underwear down for the genital and hernia exam. What made things embarrassing was being semi-hard in front of the doctor and your friends mom.. For short period afterwards, I was self- conscious being around his mom . I never expected in having one of my friends mom see me both naked or seeing my penis.

Towards the end of the exam the same nurse I had earlier enter the room. I’m told to “hop down and drop your underwear” as I’m standing there the nurse an unobstructed view of me. After the doctor finished putting on his gloves he rolled in front of me on his little stool. He checked my genitals, foreskin and hernia check. Finally, she had to witness me provide a urine sample.

Did the doctor push a call button or otherwise summon this nurse to the room when it was time for her to witness?

Did the doctor push a call button or otherwise summon this nurse to the room when it was time for her to witness?

Yes, actually he pushed some type of button by the phone. While he was putting on some gloves is when he told to “hop down and drop my underwear down”. It was almost simultaneously, she came in and underwear was already down.

Never seen a female practitioner use a chaperone examining a male, I guess its another example of the ole "double standard"

However I always thought it'd be funny back when I did physicals that if a female patient asked for a chaperone I'd call in a 2nd male to watch with me 😃

After all nothing says a chaperone has to be same gender as patient, right??

Yes, actually he pushed some type of button by the phone. While he was putting on some gloves is when he told to “hop down and drop my underwear down”. It was almost simultaneously, she came in and underwear was already down.

Fantastic that the chaperone got a good look at your genitalia! I think it would be more embarrassing to have the chaperone summoned in time for the genital exam rather than being present for the entire exam.

I had a similar experience with a dermatologist (skin screening). I had already described the story here under another thread.

I had been examined by a woman, and the whole time there was a younger doctor's assistant (Chaperone) who was watching and noted the results on the PC. But I only had to undress down to my underpants, so it was not such a thing for me...it would have been exciting if I would have had to make myself completely naked...but I had not had such a situation yet.

Fortunately or nevertheless rather a pity for me to have made no such experience?

I had a similar experience as Margo921’s boyfriend when I went for a physical exam recently with a new female nurse practitioner. The female receptionist was a cute blonde woman around 21 years old and asked me to fill out several forms since I was a new patient. I noticed her looking at me from behind the glass as she talked on phone kind of smiling. I didn’t really think anything of it at the time. After I finished the paperwork the Medical assistant called me into a room and she took my vital signs and asked me to take everything off and put on a gown. She said the nurse practitioner will be in shortly. She knocked and I said come in and the NP was a dark haired woman in her 30s. Kind of attractive and was very thorough. After everything was examined except for the genital exam she said I’m sorry but I require a chaperone for all my patients having genital or rectal exams and left the room. She returned a few minutes later and said the medical assistant was not available due to assisting another patient so Carla I think her name was, the receptionist will chaperone and motioned for her to come in. I looked at Carla and she was watching the NP as she positioned herself to her right. I could feel my face reddening as the NP instructed me to “remove the gown please”. I then stood there naked as the NP immediately moved to her left and provided Carla with a line of sight as she grabbed my penis now full but not erect. I tried to breathe as I looked up at Carla and she was staring at my penis. I started to get erection but just at that time the NP pulled both sides of the head of my penis to look into my urethra and asked if I had any burning or discharge? I weakly said no as I saw Carla kind of smile as the NP then lifted my nearly erect penis up onto my abdomen and held it there as she felt my testicles and asked me to turn my head and cough. She then released my penis and asked me to turn around and bend over the table for the prostate exam and asked Carla for a glove. She said I use lots of lube so you might feel wet but you can wipe right after. I felt the wetness as her finger slid right in and she felt my prostate and I immediately became fully erect. She then asked if she could feel my entire rectum? I said yes as she quickly did the 360. She asked Carla to hand me the tissue box and she walked over and as she handed it to me looked down at my fully erect penis and looked directly into my eyes as if she knew it would happen. The NP said thank you Carla and she opened the door and walked out while I was wiping the gel off wondering if anybody could see in. I finished wiping and put the gown on and sat back down onto the table. My face was still red and I still had a noticeable erection coming up from under the gown even as I tried to position my arms. The NP was discussing her examination and then saw the mound in my lap and said don’t be embarrassed it happens to most of my male patients. Which only made me feel more embarrassed and awkward. She then said we have a male doctor here if you would be more comfortable? I said no you were highly recommended and it’s just the first time in a long time I’ve been examined with two women in the room. She said ok you will get used to it and asked if I had any questions? I said no and she said I’m happy to now have you as a patient and said feel free to follow up as needed.