Why is there a difference between accepting anal sex and enemas?

Why is there a monumental difference between the acceptance of anal sex and enema? I mean, they both involve the same orifice. Why is sticking something up your ass that just sits there so much more accepted than sticking something up your ass followed by 2- 3 qts of water? I've had several BM's prompted by an inflatable butt plug, but that's still ok but forcing a BM by water isn't ok?

Why is sticking something up your ass that just sits there so much more accepted than sticking something up your ass followed by 2- 3 qts of water?

I'm not into enemas myself and I've never had anal sex. But I sure hope that when you do stick something up there, it doesn't just sit there! Where's the fun in that?

Certainly enemas while not divorced from sexuality are really not always sexual. They are used for other purposes as well.

Plus I have a perfectly good healthy fully sensitive vagina, why risk the anus for sex when I don't have to? the rectum is too valuable to the digestive system that keeps everything else running an healthy, so why not use your systems for what they are there for?

I think the main difference between enemas and anal sex is that anal intercourse is just like vaginal intercourse except penetration is in the anus. People universally like intercourse and doing anal sex is not that big of a leap from vaginal penetration. In the heat of the moment, the guy and often times the woman want to experience penetration to fulfill the drive to orgasm.

Enemas are a very different experience and are done for many different reasons some of which are erotic with the goal of achieving orgasm. But enemas involve filling and expelling. Lots of people associate enemas with BMs, cramping, or even induced diarrhea which is very unappealing and never view it as sexually pleasurable. You really need to get comfortable with the entire enema experience to get into the mindset of sexual pleasure.

Getting into and accepting enemas is a more complicated psychological path with more obstacles than anal sex and the reason I think its easier to convince a woman to try anal sex vs. doing enemas.

I think there has been a shift over the years in what is acceptable. Those of us who are "older" remember the days when enemas were quite common but anal sex was taboo. I think these days girls are more accepting of anal sex than we were. They might be OK with giving themselves a Fleet as preparation but to let their partner give them an enema with a bag would be the minority.

@ProV1 - Enemas are a very different experience and are done for many different reasons some of which are erotic with the goal of achieving orgasm. But enemas involve filling and expelling. Lots of people associate enemas with BMs, cramping, or even induced diarrhea which is very unappealing and never view it as sexually pleasurable. You really need to get comfortable with the entire enema experience to get into the mindset of sexual pleasure.

I totally agree @ProV1 - I would add that enemas are a lot more intimate, to me anyway, that just sex, or anal sex. I've had sex with a lot of men - all of them friends, or acquaintances who I liked, and I enjoyed the sex. But when it comes to - intimacy and trust and true friendship, those times I am with my true, intimate friends, involve or evolved, from 'bonding' with them because of our sharing enemas. Those 'enema' relationships - are the ones I treasure the most at this point in my life, and there's nothing more intimate or sexual or erotic or fun, or all of the above, than giving or getting, or sharing an enema with someone you call a friend.

There's a connection - between two people when they share an enema with each other, whether they are in the same room, or bed, or on the phone with a dear friend in a different area code or part of the town. There's just a whole lot more to an enema - they are what they make them, or they are what the two people involved make them or want them to be.

They are different things. Anal sex is anal sex, Enemas clean the colon, in a way that can sometimes produce sexual stimulation.

Not that closely related

I suspect it's all or at least mostly psychological. I'm a straight very anally erotic guy. For me, butt plugs for all involved is a fairly routine part of "normal" sex. But being pegged -- and any woman who isn't pegging her guy needs to start and any man who isn't being pegged needs to try it just once -- is very different. And, actually having a penis up my butt just isn't anything I've ever really had any interest in trying. Fairly similar sensations all, yet all quite different experiences.

I totally agree with @ProV1 and @LisaK: enema pleasure and anal-penetration pleasure are two totally different things. They don't have to go together, although they do for me. I very much enjoy them both in every form, (except not yet anal penetration by a man's penis--which is on my bucket list.) I often enjoy orgasm-inducing anal-penetration pleasure right after enjoying an hour of enema pleasure with orgasm denial.

I do understand @LisaK's love of enema pleasure and distaste for anal-penetration pleasure. Sometimes I'll spend an hour giving myself enemas solely for the enema pleasure and a good orgasm with no thought of anal-penetration pleasure. If @LisaK want's to enjoy enemas this way all the time, and only derive anally induced sexual pleasure from enema pleasure, I can understand and respect that. No doubt many men also enjoy enemas that way too.

I love @Lora C's description of the deep intimacy and trust between two people giving each other enemas. I love when my wife and I do enemas together. It's every bit as special a time together as sex is for us. Our shared enemas don't always lead to sex, but they do a lot of the time, especially when Pam's enema is orgasmic and mine isn't.

Pam and I, just as @pmoi enjoys, love being plugged for sex after enemas. (We also enjoy anal sex with just me plugged.) I think @Lora C likes being plugged for sex too, or was it @Ms Lila who liked that? Sex with the woman plugged feels so good for both lovers--it's a tighter feeling, the man can feel the woman's butt plug from inside her vagina, and the woman can feel the man's penis inside her both vaginally and anally according to Pam. Giving each other enemas makes us want to enjoy those feeling and helps us to enjoy them more.

There are many other ways enema pleasure and anal-penetration pleasure tend to go together. I think most people understand this to some extent, so I don't think the social stigmas of anal sex and enemas are that different. Here are some more ways they go together: (1) both can be primary orgasm inducers with merely secondary genital stimulation or even zero genital stimulation at times. (2) Enemas are often used to clean out the rectum and colon to prepare and stimulate them for anal-penetration pleasure soon after. (3) Fat, long, or fat+long enema nozzles, retention plugs, balloon nozzles, or colon tubes can simultaneously produce both enema pleasure and anal-penetration pleasure. To fully appreciate this, have your lover gently fuck you anally with a long fat enema nozzle while the warm water is slowly flowing into you at the same time he or she gently massages your genitals. (4) Enema pleasure tends to make enema lovers who like anal-penetration pleasure crave that pleasure right after an enema session. I know it does that for me, and I suspect this is common for male and female enema lovers.

I'm with you on the pegging, Pmoi. Don't know if it will ever happen to me. Last time I suggested we maybe try spooning position the answer was "no". I still dream, though, love shoving my own dildos up there and think it would be better if they were strapped on to a partner.

Of course there is a difference and you know that even as you ask the question.

Anal sex is a few minutes of pumping a dick in your ass while an enema can be a 15-90 minute commitment of getting the water in and feces and water back out, not to mention the bloated feeling and abdominal pressure many newbies will have and not be accustomed to with the enema.

Susie, I don't know that anal sex for an anal virgin is any less shocking than an enema with a skinny nozzle given to a newbie. The anal stretching and pain of the former, could be a lot more traumatic than the distention and cramping of the latter. No doubt both are acquired tastes that take a some getting used to before they become enjoyable.

Pam gave me my first enema. I kind of enjoyed it. After a few more, I got used to enemas and really enjoyed them. Enemas led me to try and enjoy other kinds of anal penetration. I bought my first butt plug soon after Pam gave me my first enema. Not long after that, Pam was giving me an enema to get me ready to for her to fuck my ass with a dildo or a cucumber while giving me a hand job--still very enjoyable decades later for both of us.

At the same time, I began to give her enemas, and finger her anus, which she started to enjoy. It didn't take long for me to get two or three fingers or a skinny butt plug into her. Not long after that, I started giving her enemas to get her cleaned out, and get her anus relaxed and stimulated so she could really enjoy anal sex.

For both of us enemas came first, and sexually stimulating anal penetration came right afterward. They really have always gone together for both of us, and they really complement each other.

Enemas are a solo, and completely private matter Just you, your enema gear, the path to the toilet, and the toilet itself Everything other than you is an inanimate object.

Anal sex requires two people just like vaginal sex does

It may not seem like it to the uninitiated but that changes EVERYTHING!

Enemas are a solo, and completely private matter Just you, your enema gear, the path to the toilet, and the toilet itself Everything other than you is an inanimate object.

@LisaK Maybe this is how YOU do it, but not many or most on this board follow suit. And of course any solo activity is completely different than anything with a partner.

But asking a partner to engage in anal sex vs enemas is VERY different. As I just wrote in another post, anal sex is very mainstream now, and is just another form of intercourse for a couple. Sure it is more intimate and requires more trust, but it’s much more ‘normal’ these days.

Enemas (erotic ones) are kinky, over the edge, and weird/sick to the general population. Even in the BDSM kink world enemas are on the fringe. It is SO intimate to subject yourself to something that will force a loud and messy BM, with your partner knowing (or being there) for it! Letting someone control your bowels requires a huge amount of trust, since most every person keeps their bathroom activity private, even from long term partners.

Those of us who enjoy enemas with a partner get to feel something that 99% of the population never does. @ProV1 and @Lora_C have it right!

@CJ1999 said, 'Those of us who enjoy enemas with a partner get to feel something that 99% of the population never does. @ProV1 and @Lora_C have it right!'

There are only six people on this planet who know I love enemas. Everyone knows or assumes I have sex. Maybe even that I have or enjoy anal sex, or oral, but enemas? Oh no! ?

Enemas are taboo and 94 out of 100 people I know would not even think about them or want them, let alone share with another.

To me, enemas are the most intimate thing I do or share with anyone.

I've said it before and I certainly agree that getting an enema from someone can be more intimate than sex. I agree with Ms Lila 100%

There are only six people on this planet who know I love enemas.

@Ms_Lila But we all know! 😁

@Ms_Lila But we all know! 😁

Shhhhhhhh! ?

From a psychological standpoint enemas are more intimate than anal sex if you are defining intimacy as sharing something that is a closely guarded secret behavior with someone. I feel today anal sex is not really viewed as taboo as it once was years ago. Not all people like to do it, but I think it is seen as just another way to have sex.

Certainly for me, there is a very short list of people I have told in person that I enjoy enemas for sexual reasons. I have told others (very few) that I do enemas for health reasons, which is kind of true. Sharing a sexual fetish activity that would be viewed as strange to most or even disgusting is very scary. You really have to trust the person you are telling. No matter how well you know the person you really don't know how they will react when you reveal this fetish behavior.

Sharing your most your core guarded secrets is the ultimate intimacy.

@ProV1 Exactly!!! When I've begun getting to know a potential relationship partner, if it's from a vanilla site I have frequently mentioned anal sex before we even meet. Not out of the blue of course, but due to kids, jobs, location, it might wks or over a month before even getting to meet. And in that time you can have a lot of discussions getting to know each other, and frequently the subject of sex comes up. I don't go into detail about the extent of my anal interest, but they know about it. I can't imagine ever mentioning sexual enemas to a vanilla person I haven't met yet!

I know anal sex is much more common now, but it still clicks off that sexy forbidden taboo thing in my head that makes it still extremely exciting for me.

@Ms_Lila Your secret is safe!! ?

Why is there a difference between accepting anal sex and enemas?

The reason is simple. Anal sex involves playing with the anus. Occasionally a bit of feces may be encountered which is quickly removed.

Enemas involve filling the colon with water. Massive shit and gas being expelled is always the result. Many people are embarrassed by their shit and have an aversion to others seeing, smelling or hearing their shit hit the water in the toilet. In plain, easy to understand vernacular English, that's why. 😁

Susie you are just so kinky. What a way with words!!!

I tell it like it is!

Susie is awesome!

--she sure is!

the boxcar

I tell it like it is!

You are too subtle. ??

While there can be a sexual response to enemas they are not only about sex. There are other reasons to take them.

Certainly agree with Susie on this about aversion to colon contents, perhaps even while the water is still in you collecting things to expel. As you know, I'm a great enema and colonic enthusiast for many years, so other than avoiding physical contact with expelled waste and minimizing the odor if possible, it's never bothered me. As we've pointed out hundreds of times in other threads, an enema kink or fetish is not in any way a scat kink. Until the waste eventually gets expelled, I'm really not even much aware that it's there. It just feels like water filling my colon, which to me is enjoyable.

However, in addition to specific aversion to waste, I also think the aversion to enema play as opposed to anal sex is just the sheer invasiveness of the water. Anal sex is rather like PIV - the penis or toy or fingers just stay right there at the anus and slightly deeper. But an enema starts at the anus and then invades at least many inches up to many feet deeper, eventually involving a great deal of the abdomen, producing abdominal pressure, bloating and distention. Short of producing a baby eventually filling the belly, PIV doesn't do that. So even if you're not conscious of or worried about the waste in particular, the enema invading deeply inside you, however benignly and pleasantly for many of us, probably puts most people off. But that invasiveness also contributes to why many of us think sharing an enema can even be more intimate than PIV sex.

I remember actually finding the very small number of enemas my mom gave me at age 6-10 to be enjoyable. I never minded them even then, and it rapidly turned into a very pleasant and arousing lifelong practice.

Eric

For proper credit, I just read more of this earlier thread than I had before posting, and others like Prov1, LoraC and Susie also addressed the issue of abdominal involvement before I noticed. These are my own thoughts I developed before seeing the others, but I just phrased things a little differently. Thanks to the other posters who were ahead of me.

Well I guess for number of reasons:

1)Usually enema nozzle is not as wide or long as penis or strapon dildo

2)Enema might be sexual thing if done in play scenario, but it was invented as a medical procedure, mainly to help with constipation

3)When one has anal sex that usually means you lost your anal virginity, now with enemas no one usually would talk about loosing your enema virginity, unless such person would be into enemas and would want to share enemas experiences

4)You can give enemas to yourself but to have anal sex you need a partner

You CAN be completely alone in a remote farm house with no one else around, an internet connection that will not support remote virtual sex, and you can successfully take an enema, and still lose your shit all by yourself.

Simply can't be done with anal sex.

Although my own husband has no interest in anal sex, many straight couples DO engage in it.

That said, there is STILL very much a mindset among certain individuals that it's a "gay thing" and despite all the progress made on gay rights there is STILL significant prejudice against gays.

People simply won't talk about enemas.

Many will brag about their sexual "conquests"