Bear down

My ex gf tells me about all her exams and I asked about the phrase Bear Down. She said she can't stand that phrase and doesn't hear it much anymore but years ago it was a lot more prevalent from her Drs. she had a few older male Drs that would always say it. One she said was a smaller man but had some big thick fingers and would always announce it was that time as he pulled off one glove and replaced it with another and he'd lube up his finger and look at her and say " not your favorite time but if you just bear down for me when you feel my finger at your anus it will make it easier." Then he would repeat it as if she'd forget and slip his big finger up her ass as she did. She hated hearing the words, but she liked him as an obgyn because he was " nice and always tried to be as gentle as possible,even with his giant banana fingers!"

Never been asked to bear down, just to relax as I tense up while the finger slides in.

I had my first full pelvic exam when I turned 21 at planned parenthood. I saw an NP instead of a doctor and she was quite rough with the entire experience. During the bimanual she kept shoving her fingers in hard…she pull out and roughly go back in…it was almost as if she couldn’t find what she was looking for. Suddenly she pulled out, regloved/lubed and quickly told me to “bear down as if you’re passing your bowels”, it happened so quickly and I couldn’t keep up with her instructions and she roughly inserted her finger into my rectum at the same time as my vagina. I startled and tried to push out of the stirrups. She snapped and told me that my uterus was titled back and she couldn’t get a good feel for it without this exam.

Used to be the common phrase but like a lot of things they don't say this much if at all anymore when performing the rectovaginal or rectal only. Seems like an odd trade off to not warn what they are about to do and not instruct the patient. Maybe they think it's better to just quickly get it over with even if more painful that way?

The reason for the "bear down" or "squeeze my finger" phrase is that once the finger is inserted part way you encounter the anal sphincter and tightening the muscles same as you would for a bowel movement basically relaxes the ring and the finger can be inserted fully with less discomfort. Once the finger passes through you can relax again but it's going to continue to be uncomfortable throughout that part of the exam. More often these days doctors seem afraid to let a woman know that there's going to be some discomfort involved. It's also becoming more common to pull out the middle finger and quickly slide it into the rectum at the end of the bimanual part of the exam. It just makes things worse so I really don't get why today's doctors are doing things like this.

I've been told to 'bear down' or push like I’m having a bowel movement.

I seldom ask but rather insert my finger nice and slow. I'm always amazed that a small moan my follow the insertion.

I've never been asked to bear down (except at Arizona Wildcat games), but I've always been able to relax for the examination.