Are pain fantasies normal?

Nio. they are not normal but they're certainly enjoyable and they're more a symptom of a problem like trauma as compared to causing it

I've never had a dream about pain. I have when conscious fantasies about being spanked, but whenever I would have a partner act out my fantasy, it would always end quickly as I'm not into pain.

Normal and delightful; I consider some types more healthy than others. Turn offs for me: genuine brutality and violation of another person under any circumstances. Essential for both a good fantasy and a good experience: genuine love and caring, trust, mutual respect; a sense of partnership where the Dom (or Domme) is meeting the needs and desires of the sub. The goal: skillfully dancing right on the edge of the pleasure/pain interaction, inducing both adrenaline and endorphin releases (see “Six Levels of Spanking” posts). Fantasies, and sharing them with my Domme, have played an essential role in expanding my limits. Communication is also essential, before and after, and makes each experience better than the last as she gains expertise and confidence in reading my body's reactions to what is going on. I relish being right at my limits, perhaps just over the line briefly, too much in the moment but paradoxically wanting to go back to that point, and maybe even a little further as the endorphins kick in. We also switch at times, and the dynamic is the same no matter who is playing what role. It is a magical experience when we both know that we are totally connected, reading each other perfectly, and have gotten everything just right. Total helplessness, restrictive bonds, but in the context of complete trust and willingly turning myself over to the Domme and to my own experience are an exquisite combination. Raw pain for its own sake is repulsive to me, not arousing in the least.

I am perfectly okay with that. I like to relinquish control to the one that dominate to me.

As for me, I have not had any real fantasies about wanting pain associated with my sexual activities. However, I have had some painful things done to me in real sexual activities. As long as the pain is not really severe and does not leave marks that last more than about an hour or so, I will allow it. It also must not make me have to scream in agony. A little crying is okay.

As for being restrained during sex play that may be painful, I do not like to be restrained in any way. If the pain is as I just said above, I will lay there and take the pain.

I enjoy some pain, but nothing intense. For me, the vulnerability and giving up control is a huge turn on. I do find that sometimes I need at least a little bit of pain to orgasm.

There is pain and fear in the context of sexual play and gratification. Depending on how you are wired ,you want no part of it, cautiously trying it, are into it for many reasons. Plus it enhances orgasms . Those Endorphins we all crave, are stimulated by pain.Great sex can be a pain in the ass or a pain in the neck or your balls or pussy. Never be afraid to try something new.

I am not into pain per se, but what I like to call a little erotic discomfort. 😃

Let face it, to many people outside of this forum; none of our interests would seem normal.

Let face it, to many people outside of this forum; none of our interests would seem normal.

Maybe they haven't done any of it, but I'll bet you'd be surp[rised at how many have thought about it.

I dont mind a bit of pain,after pain comes pleasure hopefully

Is it normal to have fantasies about being restrained and having no control over what happens to you? I've found it comforting to have this site and to know that other people share my interests, but should my fantasies be based around pain, nearly to the point of torture?

Depends if pain gets you hot and bothered or if it just turns you off. The right amount of pain at the right moment(s) can be very stimulating for me. But if the pain is done too hard too soon…the results are like a cold shower.

If i want to experience pain i look at my gas bill.

Being a masacist, inflected pain, is a welcome thing. My fantasies, naturally tend to be ones of being bound and tortured, with no control. My nipples and cock, are very masacistic. They want me tied up, spread eagle, with nipples being stretched, and balls tied up and stretched tightly,left out in the sun. My wife doesn't fully understand my need for pain. We play, but she has her limits. My fantasy is to find a male torture friend in my town,I don't want this to be fantasy. I play with my self, training to endure more and more intense pain. My fantasies go to being captured by Indians, and used as their torture slave, never allowed to wear clothes. They like torturing me, so they do take care of me,but I'm at any tribe members desires. Some of the Braves are very horny. I become very tan,so they make me a tribe member by initiating me by the Indian Sundance. I'm suspended by my nipples upwards, and my balls stretched out tight. I may be a tribe member now, but I am always their torture slave.

Never enjoy pain ….

Enjoying pain is not only normal it's biological, our bodies excrete dopamine in response to pain and that is the same neurotransmitter responsible for pleasure. But the important matter is that pain must be delivered responsibly, there is a lot of damage that can be done permanently to the body make sure you read up on what you are using/trying to make sure there is an as minimal risk as possible (there is not such thing as no risk in this world). If you are working with a partner trust is most important they won't know if it's too much unless you can communicate it.

Enjoying pain is not only normal it's biological, our bodies excrete dopamine in response to pain and that is the same neurotransmitter responsible for pleasure.

If pain were enjoyable, it would not, by definition be pain.

There are differences however with physical actions like scratching or spanking that differ in appreciation according to situational circumstances. Like for instance really scratching a mosquito bite that in other circumstances would not be enjoyable at all.

Or of the classic erotic/sexual spanking scenario where once again the surrounding circumstances create a different situation and mental appreciation.

What does seem to be far too prevalent is people enjoying inflicting pain on others.

Normal…. really ? who is to say what is normal, and what is not and normal can be different for different people.

If pain were enjoyable, it would not, by definition be pain.

I do not enjoy pain but deal with it when it happens.

What does seem to be far too prevalent is people enjoying inflicting pain on others.

Agree - it's situational- such as in a spanking session. I think in this situation most spankers enjoy the connection and dominance as well as the spankee, but aren't really sadists/masochists - although there are a few who are.

Fantasies about torture (per the OP) aren't sick - acting on them may or may not be.

NORMAL is only a setting on a clothes dryer.

NORMAL is only a setting on a clothes dryer.

LOL @soapytim . I doubt very much if many on Zity.biz are “normal”.

LOL @soapytim . I doubt very much if many on Zity.biz are “normal”.

We are no different than the rest of the world. We just agree to talk about and share here. If the rest of the “differences” were dealt with this way, things would be quite different and much better.

I fantasize about being circumcised by a male doctor assisted by a female nurse or some other medical procedure being carried out on my penis by a male doctor assisted by a female nurse. The doctor must be experienced and know what he is doing - having examined lots of men before. I think it is the pain involved that arouses me most. I was circumcised as a child and am not sure whether I remember it or not. I suppose, unconsciously, I must still remember it and it may well (probably certainly since it was the early 60s) have been a male doctor doing it assisted by a female nurse. Was there some imprinting/conditioning on my sexual psyche because some pleasure was involved? Being made a fuss of? My genitals being the centre of attention? Some kind of white coat syndrome? Doctors always wore white coats then and I get really turned on by a woman wearing an old fashioned nurses uniform like in the TV programmes The Royal, Call the Midwife, Endeavour, Breathless etc. I think this can only be resolved if I can re-live my circumcision somehow and feel the pain again. I've done experiments in the past with friends but they were not very fulfilling as the male was not really very convincing as a doctor! I wonder if anybody else has done any research on this. If anybody wants to I don't mind being a guinea pig as I genuinely want to resolve this issue!

I feel bound to add that my profile photo is actually me undergoing the second of three experiments carried out on me by my friends! In the experiments the pain of the circumcision was recreated by electric shocks, administered by a TENS machine purchased from Argos! I suppose it was a kind of E-Stim. My friends were obviously very understanding and kind but the male one didn't really fit the role of the doctor as I had hoped he would, although the nurse was very promising! It did reveal some interesting angles however that I probably hadn't thought of before. At one point I received an unpleasant shock that I wasn't expecting and for a few seconds my brain thought “this circumcision pain lark isn't as exciting as I thought it would be” but the feeling soon passed. Perhaps there is scope here for some kind of Aversion Therapy? This was all about twenty years ago now and I thought this had been put to bed, but just recently I have felt the need to be on that table again and, by being worked on by an understanding doctor, letting my inner feelings escape.

Since I posted this back in 2009---"While I fantasize about all kinds of heavy scenes, I'm happy with my nipples (lightly) clamped, twisted or nibbled. Being spanked and paddled appeals to me, not sure if I want to be caned. Different strokes for different folks...."---I've been spanked, paddled, and caned rather hard a number of times and I loved it! I'm a big fan of really heavy leather straps! Also had multiple needed pierced through my nipples; gave me the biggest erection I'd had in decades! Yup, different strokes!

I think they are. We all have this urge in us that both keeps us save and also puts us in harms way in a way. Fantasising about it and putting it to action are two different kinds of things still. But I think it is totally normal 😃

I might have mentioned this in another topic, I dont know..

I masturbate about 2/3 times a week these days as unfiortunately my husband's sex drive is somewhat lower than mine. I like my masturbation sessions to last 90 minutes up to a couple of hours. During this time I exploit that fine pain/pleassure balance. My nipples, anus, labia, hood and clitoris get tormented (tortured) to ensure that when I feel its time for my release I still get powerful orgasms. However, I doubt if a partner would not really understand the level of pain I desire in such sessions so its far easier to masturbate to keep the delicate balance between pain and pleasure.

I doubt if a partner would not really understand the level of pain I desire in such sessions so its far easier to masturbate to keep the delicate balance between pain and pleasure.

Maybe you will give it a try with a partner, who is in the same mood then, and enjoy the feelings !!

It's not so rare & I speak from my own experience. I do not have them so often, if at all nowadays. Except for the pain of anal penetration which is graded for me, ouch that feels good, or ouch that really fucking hurt in not a nice way. Years ago though I would have very powerful fantasies around pain submission & dominance. So no I do not think it abnormal to have pain fantasies or fantasies around submission & dominance. Remember that if its in your head its not real. Keep it there & be safe.

Dreaming about pain is for some people quite exciting.

I think it is quite normal if you are into BDSM.

Any dream about being helpless gets me going...wet pussy when I wake up.

Merel