Safety... Real time meet ups

Of course standard safety applies with all new meet ups whether meeting first here or anywhere else,I would just like to add that no matter how safe you are,I had a bad experience after 6 months of knowing this person I met for real after taking all the normal precautions.Things were great for a long while.

Some people can be very good at hiding things when meeting someone new.

My advice is never switch off your creep radar. LOL

Peace.

Caz

Some great ideas here. I’d like to imagine most people are decent, but one never knows. Other than talking a lot, I would recommend a couple of things...

1. Make that first play session at a hotel. Neutral ground and help within shouting distance in a worst case scenario.

2. Looking at a license is always a good idea.

3. Speaking of licenses, many professions require background checks. It won’t rule out sleazeballs, but it probably would catch the guy with felony assault in his background.

4. I know this is politically fraught, but I’ve heard of a few folks using it in the lead up to a real life meeting...Many states subject applicants for concealed weapons carry to extensive background checks. If a prospective play partner holds such a license it might, counterintuitivley, enable you to virtually rule out a history of violence. (Different states have very different levels of vetting though. Some may require numerous notarized references, interviews, psych evaluations, and background checks; others might simply hand one a pistol and a bottle of whiskey for all I know...so research very carefully).

5. Above all else: listen to what your intuition tells you.

Communication is the key.

I choose to take the time to get to know someone slowly, preferring quality over quantity and I am rarely disappointed because I wait until I feel safe and comfortable with someone.

Chat for a while on here. Don’t give out any personal information right away. Take it slow. If you feel comfortable after a while then exchange phone number or email.

First, I always like to schedule an in-person meeting with a new female patient over coffee, before beginning a private medical play session. I also prefer that we host the first few play sessions in a hotel room and communicate throughout our time together. The hotel front desk and other staff are there if we need anything. Respect, trust, safety, and kindness are very important to me!

Met someone from here years ago. We decided to get some food and drink somewhere neutral, discuss limits, ask questions, etc. Honestly, same thing you'd do for a romantic interest - you don't want to date or play with an ax murderer...

I have met two fine gentlemen from Zity. Both have been “good people”. I believe one initially contacted me and I contacted the other first. I spent several weeks just PM-ing both of them to feel out their specific kink levels of interest, etc. Then we met for lunch a time or two to check out physical compatibilities, etc. No problem with either. Just be open and honest and you will be able to draw some good conclusions about a future kink-mate. One guy is local to me and the other is about 75 miles away. Logistically, it’s been difficult to be intimate with both, but I HAVE SUCCESSFULLY achieved incredible quality time NAKED, IN BED, with both. You will never find someone who shares ALL your kinks, but someone who shares many interests is a good catch. Just tread carefully and go with your gut feelings. I did — and I am satisfied with the men I have met from Zity.