Awkward small talk during exam

One of my favorite things in the exam room is recreating the dialogue.

I’m naked. The doctor is clothed. She is feeling my boobs with her hands.

Doctor- “Raise your arm for me. Just going to feel some pressure with my hands. So how’s your family?”

Me- “Oh they are good….”

D -“Just going to feel a squeeze. We got a new puppy and that’s keeping everyone busy. Have you noticed any changes in your breast?”

M - “no. Our dog recently learned to fetch…”

D - “everything looks good. Let’s take a look down stairs…. Lay back”

What’s the most awkward small talk you’ve been a part of in the exam room?

Did you have to talk about the weather while the doctor was knuckle deep in your ass?

Maybe discuss vacation plans while checking your genitals?

Enquiring minds want to know!

@Amanda_O I think that in the novel Les Grandes Familles, by Maurice Druon, a gynecologist examines a woman intimately while making small talk discussing his plans to get elected to the French Academy.

It's an attempt to distract from what's taking place but hard to achieve when you're naked and being examined! Still I prefer the attempt compared to someone who is all business and seemingly aloof to the fact that another human in right there!

With a female practitioner I'd talk about general stuff- movies, restaurants, etc. With male practitioners I usually talked about cars and guns- "manly" stuff like that.

Sure as hell beats awkward silence any day.