Awkward small talk during exam

One of my favorite things in the exam room is recreating the dialogue.

I’m naked. The doctor is clothed. She is feeling my boobs with her hands.

Doctor- “Raise your arm for me. Just going to feel some pressure with my hands. So how’s your family?”

Me- “Oh they are good….”

D -“Just going to feel a squeeze. We got a new puppy and that’s keeping everyone busy. Have you noticed any changes in your breast?”

M - “no. Our dog recently learned to fetch…”

D - “everything looks good. Let’s take a look down stairs…. Lay back”

What’s the most awkward small talk you’ve been a part of in the exam room?

Did you have to talk about the weather while the doctor was knuckle deep in your ass?

Maybe discuss vacation plans while checking your genitals?

Enquiring minds want to know!

@Amanda_O I think that in the novel Les Grandes Familles, by Maurice Druon, a gynecologist examines a woman intimately while making small talk discussing his plans to get elected to the French Academy.

It's an attempt to distract from what's taking place but hard to achieve when you're naked and being examined! Still I prefer the attempt compared to someone who is all business and seemingly aloof to the fact that another human in right there!

With a female practitioner I'd talk about general stuff- movies, restaurants, etc. With male practitioners I usually talked about cars and guns- "manly" stuff like that.

Sure as hell beats awkward silence any day.

‘So what do you do for work?’ as he drew back my foreskin… 😅

I cant imagine comfortable small talk. I have had a gynecologist ask me about my history of sexual trauma while their fingers were inside my pussy. I was so taken aback by the question I couldn't answer. I also awkwardly stare off to the side or my the ceiling I can't look at them or accidentally make eye contact as their several inches inside of me. Does the small talk make people more comfortable?

A little bit of talk before he starts the exam usually right after he comes into the exam room. He will ask about my wife and how things are going maybe talk about the weather, I usually see in February for my annual and it is normally below zero and colder than hell outside so that will get mentioned. Once he starts the actual hands on part of the exam he doesn't really say anything except to give me instructions on what he wants me to do. He might say something once in awhile telling me what he is going to do before he does it. But no small talk or any kind of conversation.

My current primary care provider is pretty short on small talk. During the exam, if she is not giving me instructions on what to do, she is describing what she is doing and why. So, while sometimes awkward, it really isn't a discussion: "feeling your liver" or "roll to your left" or "a little pressure" or "feeling your femoral pulse" and of course "turn your head and cough... again"

My current primary care provider is pretty short on small talk. During the exam, if she is not giving me instructions on what to do, she is describing what she is doing and why. So, while sometimes awkward, it really isn't a discussion: "feeling your liver" or "roll to your left" or "a little pressure" or "feeling your genital pulse" and of course "turn your head and cough... again"

@FredD I have never had a doctor check my genital pulse. Is there a specific reason she checks that?

I don't mind "small talk" with a doctor, but i Hate it with a dentist.

About all I can do is "grunt" an answer.

I'm guessing by genital pulse he means femoral pulse. The major artery carrying blood to each leg and pretty important to palpate. Could that have been it?

I've never had any awkward small talk, just the normal how's work never any awkwardness. My ex gf I know likes to have some talk and joking around with her obgyns to cut the tension and help her relax. I asked about awkward and she told me about her favorite OB who delivered 2 of her kids. She was a baby nurse and she had worked with him years before so they shared a dark humor when it came to exams. She said" He would joke about Drs we used to work with and how they could be "creepy". This would be when he had his hands full of my boobs! Or when he lubed up his fingers and I was spread open in the stirrups waiting for his sausage fingers to be going in me. I'd be like DUDE! Talk about creepy!" Apparently it did help her take her mind off the exam and relax a bit

I'm guessing by genital pulse he means femoral pulse.

@Rigel - either it was auto- mistake kicking in, or a disconnect between my brain & fingers.

Femoral pulse