Craziest (or most unusual) thing you've ever put up your butt

This subject has been alluded to in previous posts, but let's get specific. What's the craziest, most unusual, or flat-out strange thing you've ever had in your anus?

I'll start . . .

Forty-some-odd years ago, when I was a much younger boy, I had a forty acre plot of land in Central California in the Sierras near Yosemite NP. One very warm summer day, I was walking around the property, hornier than hell, and happened upon my Allis-Chalmers HD7 dozer. A brilliant idea struck me and I climbed up on the dozer, dropped my jeans and slid my sweaty asshole down over the ball on the throttle lever. The resulting stimulation contributed to a fantastic orgasm and I shot my load on the track of the dozer.

There have been a lot of good times (with anal penetration) before and since, but I think that is the most unusual thing I've ever had up my ass.

Here are my top 3:

Most unusual, for me anyway, when I was a very young kid and had recently discovered the pleasures my anus could provide I was desperate to find something but too many of my family were at home. So my usual go-to of grabbing a carrot and carving it into a fun shape before pushing it inside me was not an option. Frustrated, I hopped on my bicycle to distract my mind, but as I rode down our country road, I spotted so many possibilities near a swamp ... cattails(bulrush)!! All different lengths and sizes, still on the green side so they were firm and some even had some interesting ridges and bumps.

I picked several and over the next few days when I had some private time, I would make sure to cut off any sharp spots, wrap one in plastic wrap, smear some vaseline jelly on it and push it into my hole. Very enjoyable.

When I was even younger, I would lay naked on my back on our bathroom vanity, vaseline my anus and the tap of our sink (which was about 4" long and positioned horizontally) and gradually shimmy myself toward it so I could penetrate myself with it ... my parents still have the same vanity and taps and I realize how small I must have been to do those maneuvers lol. My anus gets a tingle every time I wash my hands there.

Last, and still on a very rare occasion today, I have a really heavy framing hammer with a thick rubber handle that has a large tapered wedge shape at the end to prevent it from slipping out of your hand - the odd time that big old handle gets a condom slid over it and finds it's way into my backdoor. The weight feels great!

Cold pens and pencils which I had kept in the fridge for a while. Felt amazing going in.

A carrot that I microwaved to make it warm and soft. Not that crazy but oh well. Felt amazing.

Craziest thing up my ass... there are definitely a few items that were bizarre or odd. I think the craziest recurring item would be a buttplug with some bengay, deep blue, or tiger balm on it. It hurts like a mother and there doesn’t seem to be much that makes the pain subside quickly - you just have to wait it out. But what a rush! When I’ve gotten really horny, to distract myself, I’ve also put BenGay on a q tip or urethral sound and inserted that in my pee hole - that will make you forget about your ass burning!!! ?

When I was a teen, my younger brother had a dirt bike with one of those foam pads on the crossbar between the handles. It was covered in this Velcro sheath. One day I was in one of those teenaged horny states that drove us insane unless we did SOMETHING about it, so I took it off his bike, took off the Velcro sheath then rolled one of my dad’s condoms over it. It was about the same length and width as an average sized adult penis with a tapered end. The plastic foam had a great bouncy stiffness to it, similar to an erect penis. Then I took some hand lotion and lathered it up, sat on my back in my desk chair, and brought my knees to my chest, slowly working the tip into my asshole. I wasn’t as experienced back then so the stretching was uncomfortable and the urge to poop was strong, but I just HAD to do it.

Another time when I was around 14, I was consumed with yet another bout of insane adolescent horniness, so I went and found a golf ball and got into the same position at my desk. It stretched my anus painfully before stopping midway into my anal canal. That’s where I ceased pressing it in and I’m glad I did because 1) it could’ve become stuck up my rectum, and 2) I didn’t know how to prep properly yet, so it had some poop residue on it when I pushed it out.

Not as unusual as some of the replies here but when in junior high school, I "obtained" a small glass test tube (probably not bigger than 1/2 inch diameter. This object found its way into my backside several times lubricated only with spit! Hard to imagine how dangerous that was - If that thing has broken! The glass test tube retained a slight odor since it never got washed and to this day I can still remember how warm the glass felt upon removal from my rear. Not the brightest thing for a young person to do.

Guess that a salt shaker made of ceramics, bought from Amsterdam, under the shape and size of a good dick...put a condom over it, taking it all up my ass, removing the condom and still using it these days in the kitchen...good to see others touching it knowing where it has been!

I put an eggplant in my butt, the bell shaped vegetable stretched my behind to my delight.and when it went all the way in OMG it felt unbelievable.

Small sticks when I was kid(started the interest early) Cigar tubes, paint sticks, 2ea foot long hot dogs all the way, vacuum cleaner handle, Swiffer handle, plunger handle WAY IN, bubble wand WAY IN, mousse can, shampoo bottles, sausage, cob corn, cucumbers, zucchini, ping-pong balls, golf balls, billiard balls, baseball bat(both ends), wood golf club head, various plastic and glass bottles, lava lamp.

What I'd like to do is buy a whole lot of wooden pencils. Then lay back and let my wife insert one at a time until my asshole is stretched out to it's max

The hand held part of an old telephone, all the way in.

A shower head after a good round of stretching with some big plugs. After insertion I opened the water....Oh my.. but the extraction was ugly because of some edges. Fortunately there were no scratches, but didn't want to do it again.

5 mandarin oranges.

I remember pushing a 15 watt light bulb in my anus years ago not thinking of the dangers. Thankfully nothing bad happened.

The hand held part of an old telephone, all the way in.

I will not look at my handheld telephone receiver on my kitchen wall the same any more.

I remember pushing a 15 watt light bulb in my anus years ago not thinking of the dangers. Thankfully nothing bad happened.

You got lucky that time. I have seen vid or two online people pushing light bulbs in ass thinking those people did not watch "1 guy 1 jar" 😄

Try ice cubes! I would to hear your responses.

Try ice cubes! I would to hear your responses.

I tried this many years ago under direction by a Domme, and it was so painful I had to push them out in a couple of minutes. It felt like my tissues were being frozen and damaged. Fortunately, no lasting damage, but I'm certainly not ever going to try an ice water enema like I've read some have tried here.

As much as I enjoy anal stimulation, I'm very content to use nice reliable plugs, nozzles and enema retention catheters. Exotic and unusual I don't need, including vegetables.

Eric

I remember pushing a 15 watt light bulb in my anus years ago not thinking of the dangers. Thankfully nothing bad happened.

Yes, very, very lucky. I always enjoy reading your posts. I'm glad you survived it with no complications. ??

Eric

Not so crazy around here, but most extreme was 5 quarts of soapy water one time only as an experiment in enema volume, with a DBC holding it in. Very stimulating and pleasant. I'm now sticking to my usual if 4-4.5 q's just for safety since it feels so good at that volume anyway. I would do it again with my 36" colon tube to experience it differently, but I've never been able to get it in much past about 10-12". Needs more practice.

Eric

Root ginger (peeled) exciting burning sensation.

General cookware - eg. rolling pin, large pestle (for grinding spices),

Vegetables - carrots, frozen banana, small butternut squash.

Screwdriver handles are good, as you can hold the shaft and move the bulbed handle around a lot to hit the right spot.

When I was a kid: Hazelnuts. Around ten of them at one time.

Pachinko balls....about 100 of them at the age of 10. That made me cum the first time ever from the pressure on my prostate......I thought I broke something when it started coming out.

Pachinko balls....about 100 of them at the age of 10. That made me cum the first time ever from the pressure on my prostate......I thought I broke something when it started coming out.

I guess the risk is probably pretty low, but you guys are a lot more trusting about putting things up your butt that might not necessarily or easily come out later than I am. I just stick to butt plugs with big bases or inflatable balloon catheters for enemas. Enjoyment enough.

Eric

4 pound rubber coated dumbbell, i insert one end, the other rests on the bed, and because of the weight it stays stationary, and all i have to do is rock my hips to fuck myself and massage my prostate hands free. Feels fantastic, i highly recommend it to men and women ? I got my eye on the 5 pounder now but it's going to be a stretch as it's got a larger circumference than anything I've taken. I have a set of them, so started with the 2 pounder, then 3.....

4 pound rubber coated dumbbell, i insert one end, the other rests on the bed, and because of the weight it stays stationary, and all i have to do is rock my hips to fuck myself and massage my prostate hands free. Feels fantastic, i highly recommend it to men and women ? I got my eye on the 5 pounder now but it's going to be a stretch as it's got a larger circumference than anything I've taken. I have a set of them, so started with the 2 pounder, then 3.....

Orly,

The weight sounds interesting, but how big around or across is the dumbbell end that you insert?

Eric

Erik, the 4 pound dumbbell has a circumference of 8.5 inches. I don't insert it straight on, but insert the edge of bell end and then rotate it in, the circumference doing it that way is some what less and is certainly easier getting it in do it that way.

Probably a pestle or a corn cob! Used the corn cob before gmo corn - felt pretty good. The pestle was a bit large for me - round on each end and more than an inch in diameter, closer to two inches and made of wood so lots of lube needed. The corn cob was only about an inch or less and went in easily!

I have put so many crazy things up me , but i remember getting a new pair of rubber flip flops and i shoved one of them in my bum and that did cause a little blood but , was it worth it , yeppers it was to me lol , i was going to say the shifter on my car , but everyone on the planet has done that , right , ok , right ?? please tell me i am right lol

My mother's pearl necklace when I was a teen-ager! It was great fun. And she never knew, at least that I know of.