Life Gets Better, Chapter 5

Adrian Goes Home

When Monday came around, Dr. Liston changed our therapy group, so instead of getting our four-man group 3 together in his office, he first met with Gary and Liam in their room, and then he later came to our room to meet with Lawrence and me. Then on Tuesday he called me to his office and told me he felt I was doing well enough that I could go home. Even though going home had been my main goal since my arrival, I asked, “What about Lawrence?” and he said, “Well I think Lawrence needs to stay a while longer.”

I sat silently for a few seconds, and then said, “Then I think I also need to stay a while longer.”

Dr. Liston just looked at me until I felt uncomfortable. Only then did he say, “You know Adrian, that doesn’t surprise me. I know you like him, but I’m not sure this is the right time for Lawrence to complicate his life by trying to develop a relationship. I know he’s doing a lot better than before you got here, but I still feel he’s too fragile to try to develop any new relationships. You may not realize this, but more than fifty percent of straight relationships fail, and gay relationship failures are even worse.”

“Then I’ll wait. I don’t expect you to understand this, but I need him, and I think he needs me.”

“Adrian, I want you to listen and listen carefully. The truth is, I think you and Lawrence are good for each other, and that’s the reason I don’t want either of you rushing into a relationship. Have you even mentioned how you feel about Lawrence to Lawrence?”

I took in a breath and held it for a few seconds before saying, “No. In fact, I haven’t discussed any of this with him. I wanted to make sure it can happen before I tell him what I want.”

Dr. Liston looked into my eyes for several seconds before he asked, “So, what is it that you want?”

“I want Lawrence to come live at my house, at least until he feels like he can make it on his own.”

Because I was eighteen at the time, and Lawrence was nineteen, it didn’t occur to me that Dr. Liston was going to call both my parents and Lawrence’s, but that was exactly what he did. So, without either of us knowing it, Dr. Lawrence met with our parents that night and set things up so in case Lawrence wanted to, he could come to live at my house while he continued his recovery. So, while I didn’t know if I was going to be able to stay at Dr. Liston’s hospital until Lawrence was also well enough to leave, I returned to my room feeling as if I had accomplished very little.

When I opened the door to my room, I saw Lawrence was still in bed. He glanced up at me as I said, “We have to talk.”

“About what?” he asked.

“About us. About us staying together. Dr. Liston told me I was good to go home, and I told him I wasn’t leaving this place without you.”

“Oh, Adrian, you need to go and save yourself, and not bother yourself with me.”

“It’s too late for that,” I said, “I have no choice.”

Lawrence pulled his covers up to his neck, causing me to think he was once again trying to distance himself from me, so I got undressed down to my underpants and slid beneath his covers to lay next to him. Then without asking, I took him in my arms and pulled him tight to my chest. I don’t think I ever felt so in love as I did when Lawrence finally relaxed and pulled my body to his. His tears were wetting my chest as he began to explain how the pray-the-gay-away people convinced him that God hated him, and that he was such a disgraceful sinner that he was going to burn in hell for eternity if he didn’t learn to hate his own feelings. Then he went silent for a few seconds while I just kept hugging him to my body. Finally, he said, “They did awful things to me in that place. Things that hurt me. Things I’ll never forget.”

“Like what?” I asked.

Lawrence was quiet for some time, but finally asked, “Do you know what an enema is?”

I couldn’t believe Lawrence had spoken that word, but I finally managed to say with a slow drawn out “yeaaa, what of it?”

Instead of answering he asked, “Have you ever had one?”

His question embarrassed me so much that I didn’t want to answer, so he went on to say, “Come on Adrian, you have to trust me if you want me to trust you.”

Finally, I managed to say, “When I was ten my mother gave me two the night before I had to go into the hospital for an x-ray. And then at the hospital they gave me another one, a real big one that I had to hold up my butt for a real long time.”

“Did you like them?”

“No, they were the most embarrassing thing I had ever experienced. And I was afraid the whole time I was having to hold the one they gave me in the hospital that I might lose it at any second, even though they pumped up some kind of balloon in my asshole.

Lawrence held me even tighter. Then without speaking he raised his head and kissed me. I couldn’t help myself. I kissed him back. Soon both of our mouths were open and our tongues were caressing each other’s tongue in each other’s mouths until Lawrence pulled back and said, “I love you. I love everything about you. Do you believe me?”

“Yea I do, because I feel the same way about you.”

After another moment of silence, he said, “Then there are things about me that I need to tell you. Things I’ve never told anyone.”

I looked up to focus on his eyes as I said, “It doesn’t matter, because whatever those things are they won’t make me stop loving you.”

Lawrence was quiet for a moment, and then he began to explain how the pray-the-gay-away people used to come to his bed every night. And then how they would pull his covers and underwear down and off, and then drag him naked to a large bathroom where they made him crouch on a table while three men held him down while the fourth would stick his finger up his ass and probe all around while asking him if he had been dreaming of fucking a boy, or if he had been dreaming of a boy fucking him. And then he told me how no matter how he answered their questions they would then get a big red enema bag out from under the table he was crouched on and proceed to flush his bowel out with three to five huge enemas, all while praying that he would poop bad demons out of his body, demons they told him were making him gay.

That was a strange time for me as I felt so sorry for him, while at the same time his words had caused my penis to erect, a fact I desperately wanted to hide from Lawrence until I felt his erection pressing into my stomach. I couldn’t help but hold him even tighter so I could feel both of our penises pressing into each other’s bellies. Soon we were both crying while passionately kissing. I was clinging to his body with both my arms and legs as if I was trying to become one with him. I truly didn’t feel I could feel more loved until I felt one of his fingers at my anus. At first it just massaged my sphincter, but seconds later it entered. It felt nothing like when the X-ray nurse lubricated my anus and rectum to prepare me for the hospital’s barium enema nozzle. No, Lawrence’s finger felt so magically wonderful that my cock was soon shooting boy cum all over Lawrence’s tummy. At first, I felt incredibly embarrassed, at least until I realized Lawrence was kissing me more powerfully than anyone else had ever kissed me ever before. Then his body stiffened and his cock began to throb against my stomach as he unloaded a huge load of cum to mix with what I had already deposited.

As it turned out, once Lawrence and I had broken the ice we talked all night, which allowed Lawrence to tell me how he had been tortured with large hot soapy enemas every night he spent at the pray-the-gay-away place. But that wasn’t all, because he then explained that even though those enemas were painful and scary for him, he told me how they also turned him on, and brought on dreams of him giving other boys enemas, dreams that truly made him feel as if he was the monstrous sinner they had been telling him he was, but dreams that also turned him on sexually and made him feel love on a whole new level. Then, just after another deep tongue probing kiss I told Lawrence that as far as I was concerned, he wasn’t a sinner at all. And then while recalling how much I enjoyed having his finger in my asshole, I said, “In fact, I don’t think the things you want to do are monstrous at all, because I think I would love for you to do all of those things to me if I could also do them to you.”

“Lawrence pulled back and looked in my eyes as he asked, “What do you mean?”

That was when I told Lawrence that I loved him so much that if he would come to live with me, I would let him do anything he wanted to me, even give me enemas if he wouldn’t make them too big.

Lawrence’s eyes were still focused deep in my eyes when he asked, “Do you mean that? Do you really mean that?”

“Yea I do. I mean every word of it.”

“You better not be kidding me, because I’ve been dreaming of giving you an enema ever since the day you got here and I got to see your cute little fanny while you were calling home to have your mother bring you some street clothes.”

...

Lawrence and I slept off and on until 3: AM that next morning, and every moment we weren’t sleeping we were talking. Even though I was a year younger than Lawrence, he seemed to accept my thoughts as if I had a PhD in psychology. He even accepted my thoughts on how I felt his religious tormentors were probably more gay than he was, and how I truly felt they were actually getting their jollies off each and every time they gave his sexy ass an enema under the ridiculous guise of flushing demon spirits from his body. That prompted him to eventually ask how I could know such things, and so I honestly told him that I couldn’t think of anything that could possibly turn me on more than for me to give him an enema, and then make him hold it until he came.

At first, he just stared at me, causing me to think I had revealed too much about myself. But then he leaned in and kissed me again. It wasn’t a passionate kiss like we had just experienced, but rather a sweet gentle kiss that ended with him saying, “You keep telling me that you love me. Is that really true?”

Without hesitation, I said, “Yea, and you need to believe me because I don’t know how I can say that more clearly.”

“Yea, well this is important to me because I really do love you, and so I want to tell you everything, like even though I hated everything those men did to me, there were parts of what they did that I liked. I know that sounds crazy, and it probably is, but there were things about those enemas that turned me on, and they knew it because I’d get a boner every time they filled me up with hot soapy water, which gave them an excuse to give me even more enemas.”

“Oh God,” I said, “I’m glad to hear you say that, because I want to give you enemas, and then stick my dick up your ass and fuck you until you cum so you’ll never doubt my love ever again.

...

As it turned out, Lawrence and I were honest with Dr. Liston during our next therapy session. We didn’t tell him how we felt about enemas, ass fucking or cock sucking, but we did tell him I didn’t want to leave his hospital until Lawrence could come with me. As I was only supposed to be held for 72 hours, my time was actually up that previous Tuesday. So, after our therapy session he called my parents to let them know I was ready to come home if they felt that they could not only provide a safe environment for me, but also for Lawrence. I couldn’t believe how my parents jumped at that proposal, and so they came to pick both Lawrence and me up that evening.

Because Lawrence was nineteen at the time, he was free to leave Dr. Liston’s hospital with or without his parents’ permission, and so we were off to start our new life. To tell you the truth I couldn’t believe how accepting my parents were, not only of my sexuality, but of Lawrence as my lover, and then six months later as my husband. Strangely, all of the friends I had been worrying about were also accepting of Lawrence and me. Of course, what they never knew was anything about all of the enemas Lawrence and I were giving each other, not to flush demons from our bodies, but to turn each other on in ways my straight friends would never understand.

The End