In my first conversation, I shared how the exam experience has influenced where I am today. I think this is true for many of us. Here is a bit more about the anticipation of seeing the doctor.

Prior to greeting the doctor, the anticipation of what is to come is highly intense. The night before my exam or even the morning of the exam can be associated with rather strong erections and a desire to bring some relief to myself. I wish that I could say the feeling was long lasting but a simple insertion of my rectal thermometer is all that is needed to cause an ejaculation. It seems important to do so as to avoid any exam embarrassment. Well that’s my self -talk to justify what has taken place. It’s been a ritual for as long as I can recall.

Once in the exam room, I dutifully undress – often quickly – and scan the room seeing what is displayed and if lucky being able to peek into my medical chart and read the exam form attached to my folder. It’s a rather generic form with all one’s body parts listed from head to toe. My mind races to how many things are listed and to the genital-rectal areas. The time engaged doing so is very fast but my heart races as I then fixate on the tube of KY resting on the tray along with a pair of gloves. It’s a lot to comprehend in some ways and, as if, to underscore just how embarrassing I am going to feel, the rectal thermometer is lying prominently on a paper napkin. Gone are my thoughts that this won’t be for me. The only question is will I submit to the nurse for this procedure or the doctor. I don’t really get to decide as next there is the “Knock” on the door and in walks the nurse with my fate literally in her hands.

The ritual of making small talk does little to distract from my sense of anxiety. I purposely avoid looking at the tray and only wish that I had hidden that exposed thermometer somewhere in one of the many drawers. The process is rather familiar, the obligatory hand shake, the cordial “How are you today,” and then the instruction to step onto the scale. I do so, my bikini briefs are new and today I have on a pair of navy colored briefs. She completes that and has me sit on the exam table to check my pulse and BP. She makes small talk as if that will help my heart slow down. It doesn’t as I try to answer her health related questions. Next, she hands me a urine cup and directs me to go pee using the attached bathroom. I have a momentary sense of relief and get to tug my penis some as it appears to have nested fully into my pubic hair.

Upon returning having left the sample on the tray in the bathroom as directed, I can’t help but notice that the thermometer is now glistening in KY. I sit back onto the table and am told, “Time to get your temperature. Lay back and turn over.”

There is no point in protesting or trying to stall, as it only will make things more distressing. I obey and soon feel her telling me to “Lift up,” as she grabs the waistband of my briefs and pulls them down to my knees and off. My cheeks are fully exposed. There is no hiding that I am going to submit and soon feel her fingers spreading me wide. “Relax, take a deep breath,” registers in my ears, as I feel her dab my anus with KY and then insert the thermometer. A subtle gasp and involuntary clench takes place as it is pushed fully into my rectum. “Is it possible that this is a longer thermometer than I have experienced in the past? “ She twists and holds it deep into me advising me that “It won’t take much longer.” There is a knock on the door, as my luck would have it, the doctor comes in and see’s me having this done. He says, “Hello,” and soon the nurse is removing the probe and announcing that my temp is a healthy 98.7. I slowly turn over but she can clearly see my exposed penis as I attempt to cover and turn to face the doctor allowing my legs to dangle. She says, “It was good to see you this morning,” and leaves. My only hope is that this is the last of her this time around!

And so it goes…another exam morning and with it more reinforcement for when I get home to achieve some relief.