It has been roughly 10 years since I posted S/M versus Abuse here on zity.biz and around a year ago I was contacted by someone who was in an abusive relationship. It took roughly 8 years for her to finally make the decision to end her marriage which was long overdue. She enlightened me about an aspect called Coercive Control, something I had never heard before, so I looked it up and educated myself. In the process I found the following website that was a treasure trove of information and I have listed it below. I was shocked to learn how high the numbers really are, One in four women, and 1 in 7 men, will experience relationship violence in their lives. You need to know that an abuse victim leaves her abuser on average seven times before she leaves for good. Now if you think BDSM, kinky, fetish, etc. negates any of this, YOU ARE WRONG! I will repeat YOU ARE WRONG! I posted the S/M versus Abuse as a guide to help delineate between the 2, and maybe I should rename it BDSM versus Abuse. So if you are checking off boxes and potential points in the S/M versus Abuse, then you should be here reading this material below. -Master Dorson

Domestic Violence Statistics, The hard truth about domestic violence, https://www.domesticshelters.org/articles/statistics/domestic-violence-statistics

https://www.domesticshelters.org/What is Coercive Control?, https://www.domesticshelters.org/articles/identifying-abuse/what-is-coercive-control

After reading this, go look at the right side bar and there are more articles concerning Coercive Control.

14 Misconceptions About Domestic Violence, https://www.domesticshelters.org/articles/domestic-violence-op-ed-column/14-misconceptions-about-domestic-violence

20 Ways Manipulative Narcissists Silence You: Part I Learn the ways some abusers with mental illness negate responsibility for their choices, https://www.domesticshelters.org/articles/identifying-abuse/20-diversion-tactics-highly-manipulative-narcissists-sociopaths-and-psychopaths-use-to-silence-you-part-i#

There are 3 more parts for a total of 4, all worth reading. This Is Why I Didn't Tell You He Was Beating Me, https://www.domesticshelters.org/articles/domestic-violence-op-ed-column/this-is-why-i-didn-t-tell-you-he-was-beating-me