I slept better than I had in quite a while. Being in my own bed with Doc was the best medicine for sleep. While he sleeps on the bed with me in the hospital, he won’t get under my blankets, so it’s not the same. This morning, we both slept in and even Jessie did as well - she seemed to know that we needed our sleep and did not wake us up early to go out like she usually did.

When we finally woke up, Doc insisted that I stay upstairs. “It’s too hard for you to get up and down them, hon”, he said. If you go downstairs today, you are sleeping down there tonight.”

“Doc, I need to go see my horses.”

“You saw them yesterday when we got home.”

“That was yesterday. I need to see them every day.”

“Then you sleep downstairs.”

“I can make it up on my own, you don’t have to help me.”

“Meredith, are you taking your Ativan?”

“What kind of question is that, Doc?” I got out of bed and went to my dresser, using my crutches to walk. I rummaged around in drawers looking for something to wear.

“Meredith?”

“Yes, Doc?”

“You are feisty this morning. Have you been taking your Ativan?” I picked out some clothes and threw them onto the bed, then hobbled over. “Look at me, Meredith.” I looked at him. “Answer me, please.”

I can’t lie to him. “No.”

He sighed. “Why not?”

“It neuters me, Doc.”

“Neuters?”

“I’m not myself on them. I don’t like the way I feel.”

“You mean you don’t like behaving yourself. You agreed to go on it.”

“For a couple weeks. Time’s up.”

“Meredith, I’m going to go downstairs to get your morning medications, and you are going to take all of them, including the Ativan.”

“No, Doc. I’m not taking the Ativan.”

“Yes, you are.”

“No. I get to decide what goes into my body.”

“Will you tell Alex that you don’t trust him?”

“What?”

“He prescribed the Ativan. If you won’t take it, that says you don’t trust his medical judgement.”

“I’m done with this conversation.”

Doc sat down on the bed. “Over my knees.”

“Why, Doc?”

“Don’t play dumb, Meredith. It’s not becoming of you. Over my knees.”

“No, Doc.”

“Excuse me?”

“I said no. I didn’t think that was hard to understand.”

I started making my way to the ensuite bathroom. Doc took a step and grabbed me by the waist with both hands from behind. “Stop right there!”

“Let go of me, Doc.”

“No, Meredith. You are getting a spanking and if you make me put you over my knees, it will be worse on you. I would not normally spank you when you are in pain, but you are being extra cheeky this morning and you need some discipline. Now, get back here and get over my knees.”

“I can’t.”

“What do you mean you can’t?”

“I can’t unless I stand on both feet.”

“Give me your left crutch.” I handed it to him. He set it down on the bed. “Let me hold your arm and help you down. You can use the other crutch to stabilize yourself.” The inanity of what was happening - Doc helping me get down over his knees so he could spank me - hit me and I started giggling.

“What’s so funny, Meredith?”

“You helping me down so that you can spank me.”

“You won’t find it so funny when you’re being spanked.” By then, I was across his lap and he pushed my nightshirt up to reveal my bare bottom. He proceeded to smack it over and over.

After a few spanks, I said “Oh, come on, Doc. That tickles. Make it count.” He gave me what I wanted - the hardest spanking he’d ever given me. And the longest. It was one of those love/hate things. I hated the pain, but loved it at the same time. I knew I was getting very wet. When he was finished, he told me to stand up. I stood up on one foot. He got up and threw me down sideways on the bed, then knelt between my legs and bent over me. He kissed me passionately, pushing my nightshirt up and fondling my breasts. I heard him undo his pants and then he held my wrists down as he took me. For awhile, I forgot about the pain in my lower abdomen. It was so hot! The windows were open and later on, I thought it was a good thing nobody had driven up to the house while we were “busy”.

Afterwards, he lay down beside me. We were both gasping for breath. When we were breathing normally again, Doc said “Meredith, I don’t know how to describe that except - WOW!”

“It was great, wasn’t it, Doc?”

“It was, but you need to take your meds now, including your Ativan. And I‘m going to check to make sure you swallowed them.”

“Can you let Jessie out? The poor girl has been waiting while we were having fun.” I felt bad about not thinking to get Doc to let her out before he spanked me. Jessie had taken to leaving the room when she saw me being spanked or when Doc and I started getting intimate. I had not trained her to do so, she just did it.

He went downstairs, let her out and got my medications and I took the pills. After I’d swallowed the water he’d handed to me, he told me to open my mouth. “Good girl. I’m going to go get breakfast, I’ll bring it up to you.”

I went to the bathroom after he went downstairs. I leaned over the toilet and tried to put a finger down my throat but I couldn’t force myself to do it. Rummaging through the cupboard under the vanity, I found a bottle of hydrogen peroxide. I took the cap off and downed a swig. It worked fast. Within a couple minutes, the pills were in the toilet. I flushed and rinsed out my mouth, then washed my face.

I opened the door and went to step into the bedroom. Doc was standing right outside the door, blocking my exit. “You threw them up, didn’t you?” I tried to get around him, but he wouldn’t budge. “Meredith?”

I turned around and bared my butt to him and said “Spank me.”

He couldn’t help it, he laughed. Then he turned around and walked over to the bed. He sat down on it and picked up the phone receiver. He must have left his cell downstairs. He dialled a number, then waited. “Hello Alex, it’s Julian. I need a favour. Could you please give me a new prescription for Meredith’s Ativan, but make it inject-able?” A pause. “She hasn’t been taking it, says she doesn’t like being ‘neutered’. I gave her her meds this morning and I checked her mouth to make sure she swallowed them. Know what she did? After I left the room, she went to the bathroom and threw them up.” Another pause. “I’m pretty sure she induced vomiting. Did you, Meredith?” I nodded. “She says she did.” A pause again. “Thanks so much, Alex. I’ll pick it up this morning.” He hung up the phone.

“There you go, Meredith. You have no choice now, I’ll be injecting it. Alex said he will reduce the dose a little bit to see if that helps you feel less ’neutered’. Now I’m going to go get your meds again, since you threw everything up with the Ativan. I’ll bring breakfast up at the same time. By the way, how did you make yourself vomit? Finger down your throat?”

“No, I couldn’t bring myself to do that. I drank some hydrogen peroxide.”

“Meredith!”

“That’s what Steve had me do when Jessie ate some …uh …used feminine products out of the garbage - I had to give her that to induce vomiting.” He shook his head as he walked out of the bedroom.

Later, after breakfast, Doc and I were lying on the bed. “Hon, I’m going to shower shortly then go get your Ativan. I’ll pick up some other things while I’m in the city, we don’t have any fresh produce.”

“Okay, Doc.”

“You sound morose, Meredith.”

“I don’t want to be on Ativan.”

“You need to be on it.”

“Alex said two weeks.”

“He also said maybe longer. He feels you need to still be on it. It’s not permanent, hon.”

Before he left, Doc said he’d take Jessie to the barn to hang out with Karen while he was gone so that I wouldn’t have to worry about going downstairs to let her out. I tried to sleep for a while but kept thinking of everything that had happened in recent weeks, especially Watters and his dungeon that the police found. I was trying to hold the anxiety at bay, but it wasn’t working.

I got dressed and slowly and painfully made my way downstairs. I located my purse and went out the front door, down the steps and to my mini van. It is an automatic thing for me to run away when I’m extremely anxious. I got in and sat for a moment, then did up the seat belt, started the car and began to back out of the laneway. When I got to the road, I stopped. No, I can’t do this, I thought. It’s not fair to Doc. He’ll be frantic and I’ve put him through so much already.

I pulled up into the laneway and parked. Back in the house, I sat down in the tv room for a bit. Karen came in and said she’d heard a car. “That was me.”

“What were you doing?”

“I was going to go for a drive, but changed my mind.”

“You are in no shape to be driving, Mer.”

“I know, that’s why I changed my mind.”

“Ok, I’m done in the barn. Do you need me to stay with you until Julian gets home?”

“No, I’ll be fine.”

After Karen left, I got a drink of water, then made my way upstairs. I lay down on the bed on Julian’s side, which is closest to the door. I couldn’t stop thinking about the dungeon Watters had set up to torture me in.

When Doc got back, he found me sitting in the corner on my side of the bed with the night stand pulled in front of me. I was curled up in a similar fashion to what I’d been in the hospital room’s shower. This time, he took a video on his phone, then called Alex. He told him what was happening and asked what the proper dose of Ativan was for the situation. When he hung up, he drew it up into the syringe. “Meredith, hon”, he said “I’m going to lift your top and push your pants down a bit so I can expose your hip, okay?“ I didn’t say anything. He reached out and pulled my top up. Then he undid the tie on my pants - I was wearing a loose pair of jogging type pants - and pushed the waistband down. I tried to move away from him, but there was nowhere to go. He was blocking my way out. “It’s okay, hon. This will help. I’d never do anything to hurt you.” He swabbed my hip with an antiseptic wipe and give me the injection.

While he waited for the Ativan to take effect, Doc sat on the floor and talked to me. “This is why you need to stay on it for a while longer, sweetie. It was too soon for you to stop taking it.”

“Doc, you deserve better than me!” I blurted out.

“Why do you say that, hon?”

“Look at me! I’m a wreck!”

“Oh, Meredith!” he said as he got on his knees and took me into his arms. “You’ve been through so much in the past couple months, first with Jane and now with Watters. How you are reacting is perfectly understandable. Needing medication for a while is also understandable.”

“But Doc, you’ve been through hell, too, and you aren’t falling apart!”

“Hon, you have taken the brunt of everything. Aside from me getting a little gunshot wound, you have been the one who’s been physically hurt. You’re the one who’s been through 4 surgeries in under 2 months. And you are the one Watters wanted to torture. Most people would have broken down just from what Jane has done. You know how I feel about her and my responsibility in it.”

I leaned back and looked at him. “Doc, isn’t Alex getting through to you? Jane is not your fault!”

“He’s working on me, hon. And I’m going to continue seeing him because I don’t want to keep feeling this way or feeling so angry over everything either. You know I rarely get mad and I don’t like how it makes me feel. You need to keep seeing him, too. You don’t want to be like this forever, do you?”

“I intend to keep up with the sessions, Doc. I don’t like this either.”

“Good, Meredith. And please let me tend to you medically. Take all your medications, including your Ativan injections. Okay?” I nodded. “Good. Now let’s get you into bed. I think you need a nap. I could use one, too.”

When we woke up a few hours later, I was feeling less anxious, but back to the ‘neutered’ state of mind. Doc showed me the video he’d taken. It shocked me. “And that is not as bad as you were that day in the hospital, Meredith. This is why you need the Ativan, hon.”

My eyes were wide. “Doc, how do I stop being freaked out by what’s happened?”

“Take your medication and talk to Alex. It may take time, sweetie. Be patient and do as your doctors tell you.”

“I hate this, Doc.”

“I do, too, hon. We‘ll get through it, though. I promise you that.”

Alex called later and talked to Doc. He wanted to come see us on Saturday afternoon. Doc suggested he bring Deanna and stay for supper. We hadn’t seen his wife since our Christmas party in December.

Later that day, the foster home that had taken Lilly, the pregnant mare that had come to me extremely underweight, brought her back. When I sent my fosters off to other foster homes to keep them safe, I’d asked that it just be temporary for Lilly and the draught team, George and Gracie. The latter two had been adopted, though, by a local man who participated in plowing matches. He was only able to take them for part of the year as he couldn’t afford to feed hay all winter, so I agreed to take them for the months they couldn’t be on pasture. Doc and I had had such a great time last Christmas Eve with the wagon ride and carol singing that we had decided to do it again this year if I still had the team. I was also thinking of doing sleigh rides for locals, if I could find a nice sleigh.

Lilly came back as big as a house. She was due late June or early July, according to Steve, my vet. Nobody knew when she’d been bred, so he was going by the ultrasound and an internal. Alex had told me that his brother was rarely wrong about figuring out due dates. Gestation for a horse is about 11 ½ months - the poor things!

Doc was really happy that she was back. He’d taken quite a liking to her and I know he was hoping to get to see the foaling. I assured him that as long as he was willing to stay up all night waiting for it, he most likely would. I use closed circuit tv to watch a mare when she’s close so I can go out to the barn and be there when the moment is about to happen, in case she gets in distress.

Saturday came and Alex and Deanna arrived mid-afternoon. Alex talked to me in the tv room while Deanna kept Doc company in the kitchen.

I asked him the same thing I’d asked Doc - how do I stop being freaked out? And got the same answer Doc had given me. “Keep talking to me, Meredith. And let Julian give you your Ativan injections. I’m sorry that I said you only had to be on it for two weeks, I had hoped that would be the case but you need to be on it longer. I still think it will be short term, though.”

“Oh, I hope so, Alex! I hate feeling neutered.”

“I know you do, but after what happened when you went off it, I had to cancel the dose decrease I was going to give you. Let’s see what happens in a week or two and maybe we can try you at a lower dose then.” Doc had shown him the video he had taken of me. “I’m going to have Julian keep giving it to you via injection. That way you won’t be tempted to not take it or to throw it up. By the way, have you written down what you want to say to Jane yet?”

“No.”

“I’d like you to do that before our next session. I’d also like you to do the same thing directed at Dr Watters. Can you do that?” I nodded. “Good. I have one more exercise for you. I know I’m giving you a lot so if you don’t get it all done in time, that’s okay. I’d like you to write a letter to Julian.”

“What? Why?”

“I think there are things you want to say to him but are hesitant to. I’m going to give him the same exercise.”

“You are?”

“Yes.”

We talked for a while longer, then Doc went in to chat with Alex and I took Deanna out to the pasture to see the horses. “Alex really wants to learn to ride”, she told me.

“Yes, he’s mentioned it to me. I’d be happy to teach him any time he wants to come out for a lesson. I’ve been trying to get Julian on a horse, but I fear that will never happen.”

“Julian doesn’t strike me as the type to get on a horse.”

I laughed. “No, he really isn’t. It’s okay, though. If he doesn’t, it won’t change anything. I love him as he is.”

“I can see it in your eyes, Meredith. You two are meant for each other.”

“I think we are. And I’ve been told that by a few people now!”

“Others see it as well.”

“Can I ask you something, Deanna?”

“Of course.”

“You and Alex have been together a long time.”

“Twenty four years. We married very young, we were both in our early 20‘s.”

“Do you still feel the same way about him as you did back then?”

“Oh, yes. My love for him grows deeper every year.”

“I’ve heard so many stories about couples growing apart after many years together. I don’t ever want that to happen to Julian and I.”

“Then don’t let it, Meredith. You do have to work at it, especially when things aren’t going well. It is very worth it, though. One rule Alex and I have is to never go to bed mad at each other. We talk it out until it’s resolved, even if it means staying up all night.”

“That’s a great rule to have, Deanna. It must help, being married to a therapist.”

“Actually, that makes it worse at times.”

“How so?”

“He wants to talk about every little thing. Sometimes I get tired of hearing ‘How do you feel about that?’”

“Yeah, I can see how that would get old.”

“I love him, so I put up with it. I do tell him when it’s getting too much and he will try and back off. Or if I don’t want to answer, he’ll let me be most of the time.”

“Doc …Julian…sometimes drives me nuts with his cleanliness. If he goes to the barn, even for just a few minutes, he will put his clothes in the laundry as soon as he gets inside and he usually showers, unless he was only in there for a minute. That’s fine, it’s his body and his clothes, but if I put on clean clothes and only feed the horses, he insists I put them in the laundry. Sometimes, I’ll protest but I always end up backing down. I know why he’s like that, and I know he’ll likely never change. I love him, so I bend for him.”

“That’s the key, Meredith. You each have to bend. Does he bend for you?”

“Oh, yes. It’s usually over the horses. Like if I am not feeling well, and have to do evening chores, which is basically just getting them in and feeding them. He will want me to call Karen and if I’m really bad, I will, but other times I say no, I can do it. He’s started to come and help out at those times. Deanna, I hope we‘re together as long as you and Alex have been.”

“You will be, Meredith. And look at it this way - you two have been through more in a few weeks than most couples go through in their whole life together. And you are still together. If those experiences haven’t driven you apart, nothing will.”

When Alex and Julian were finished talking, we sat down to a lovely meal. Before we ate, we all agreed to not talk about what Julian and I had been through and to keep our talk light hearted. It was a great time, for a couple hours I put everything to do with Jane and Watters out of my mind and really enjoyed myself. After we ate, we sat in the living room with a glass of wine for a while before our guests had to go.

Alex took me aside before they left. “You looked very relaxed this evening, Meredith.”

“I was, Alex. I didn’t think of Jane or Watters at all until now.”

“That is great. See? As time goes on, you’ll have more and more times like this where your mind is not on them and you are having fun. Be patient, it will come. I told Julian the same thing.” He gave me a hug.

After they left, Julian started the dishes. “Let me help, honey.”

“No, Meredith. You can’t be on your feet.”

“I can sit on a stool and dry the dishes.”

“You have to promise me to stay on the stool. No getting up to put them away. Put them on the side counter and I’ll do it.”

“I promise.”

Later, in bed, I said to Doc “Deanna told me something that I think is a great idea and that we should do.”

“What’s that, hon?”

“Her and Alex have an agreement never to go to bed angry at each other. They talk it out, even if they are up all night.”

“I love that, Meredith! Yes, let’s make that pact.”

“I don’t think we’ve ever gone to bed mad, Doc.”

“No, we haven’t. So let’s not start.”

One day, Karen brought the mail in, as she had been doing. After lunch, I looked through the usual pile of bills and flyers. Doc was upstairs in the Library, reading. I picked out an envelope that was addressed to me. There was no return address. I opened it and pulled out a single sheet of paper. On it was typed in bold print “Down but not out”. Jane again! When was she going to leave us alone? And how did she get this sent from the jail?

I rarely disturb Doc when he’s in the library. That’s his private time and I won’t bother him unless it’s something dire. I waited an hour and he still had not come downstairs. I was trying very hard not to panic. Even with the Ativan, I was feeling anxious and wanted to get in the car and drive to the detention centre and tell Jane off.

Instead, I decided to go to the barn to see the horses. It was very cool and rainy, so they were inside today. I went to the garage and got the 4 wheeler to drive to the barn. It was too risky trying to walk on one foot, even with crutches. One of these days, I had to clear the garage out - Doc wanted to put his car in it. He didn’t understand why I didn’t put mine in, especially in the winter months. I told him it was because the garage was full of other equipment. I also told him he was welcome to clear it out since I never seemed to have the time, but of course, he didn’t. Maybe I’ll get a big tool shed for the equipment and have the garage re-built, I thought as I headed toward the barn. This one is pretty old and it only holds one car. I made a mental note to talk to Doc about it.

Karen was gone until supper feeding. With only 4 horses here at the moment, she finished her chores a lot sooner. I still paid her the same as if there were 10 of them. She deserved it.

I spent time with each horse, then brought Lilly out onto the cross ties. She was getting so big. I could put my hand on her side and feel the foal kicking. I bent down and peeked under her. No sign of an udder. That meant she was no where near foaling. I know Steve had figured at least six more weeks, but since nobody knew her breeding date, he *could* be wrong. So I was keeping an eye on her.

I heard Doc calling. “Meredith!”

“In here, Doc!”

He came in. “I saw your note, hon. And Jane’s.” I’d left him a note on the kitchen table telling him I was in the barn and left the note from Jane beside it. “Are you okay?”

“I think so, honey. It freaked me out and I wanted to get in my car and drive down there and tell her off, but I came out here instead.”

“I’m glad you came out here instead, but you should have called me or texted me.”

“I don’t like bothering you when you are in the library, Doc. That’s your private time.”

“I know you don’t, hon, but something like this warrants it.”

“I’m okay.” He gave me a big hug.

“You should be off your feet, though.”

“I’m on my crutches.”

“Yes, but how did you get Lilly out here?” I must have had a guilty look. “You walked on that leg, didn’t you?”

“Yes, Doc, I did.”

“You know better, Meredith.”

“Yes, Doc.”

He reached around me and gave me a couple smacks on my bottom.

“Don’t start something you’re not prepared to finish, honey.”

“Haha, Meredith. I called Scott and he’s coming out later this afternoon to pick up the note from Jane. He told me to handle it as little as possible, so I put it on top of the fridge until he gets here.”

“Ok. Hey Doc, come here.”

“Why, hon?”

“Put your hand here.” I indicated a spot on Lilly’s side.

He put his hand on her. “Is that the little one kicking?”

“Yes, it is. Neat, eh?”

“It sure is!”

“Want to hear it’s heartbeat?”

“May I?”

“Go get the stethoscope that’s hanging by the grain bins.” He brought it back to me. I listened and located the heartbeat, then handed the steth to Doc. He took it and listened. The look on his face was one of pure awe.

“That is amazing!” he exclaimed.

“Cool, eh? Though I’m surprised an ob/gyn would say that.”

“It never gets old for me, hon. Every time I listen to a fetal heartbeat in the clinic, I find it exciting. As long as it’s a healthy one. And hearing a foal’s is just awesome!” He petted the mare for a while.

“Want to brush her, Doc? She could really use a currying and I can’t do it right now.”

“You are right, you can’t. Okay, I’ll do it but you have to sit down.”

I sat on a bale of straw and watched him. It was so good to see him doing this, though I knew he’d go right into the shower when we went back inside. After he was done currying and brushing Lilly, he asked where the hoof pick was. I told him and he picked out her feet without being asked to.

“Is there anything else she needs?” he asked.

“No, she can go back in her stall.” I started to get up.

“I’ll get her, Meredith. You can’t do it on crutches.”

This was a first, Doc handling a horse off the cross ties! Not counting when he’d held onto Jack for me that time he’d come out to try to get me to go see him in the clinic. “Hold onto her on her left side, honey.” On the way back up the aisle, he stopped and petted Jack for a minute. Jack had a thing for Doc, he just loved him.

True to form, Doc wanted a shower when we went back to the house. “You need one, too, hon. You were out there longer than I was. We’ll have it down here so you don’t have to go up the stairs.”

Doc lost the “if you go downstairs, you sleep down there” battle, but I did try to not go up during the day. I napped in the bedroom on the ground floor. I took off my knee brace - Doc had taken my stitches out a while ago so I didn‘t need to worry about covering them - and sat down on the shower seat and let him bathe me. He enjoys it so much.

Detective Fletcher arrived late in the day, as he said he would. We invited him in for coffee. Doc gave him the note and envelope from Jane and he put them in a plastic evidence bag, then sealed it shut with tape. “I’ll take this back and they will dust it for fingerprints, though I don’t expect we’ll find any. I’d like to know how she sent this when she’s supposed to be on no contact with the outside world.”

“Is there any news on the case?” Doc asked.

“She has a court appearance here in a couple weeks, they expect she will most likely enter a plea at that time. She already pled to the charges down there and pled not guilty. A preliminary hearing date is scheduled for next January.”

“That far away?”

“Unfortunately, the courts in Vancouver are very busy. The Crown is trying to get the charges transferred to here and have them all dealt with at once, both from there and here. It would be a lot easier, plus they’d get much quicker prelim and trial dates. The downside is that she’d have to come here, but she’ll be in heavy shackles and have lots of guards.

“The Crown has decided to charge Chad Watters. He’s progressing with his speech therapy, and has made some progress in physical therapy. He probably won’t ever walk again, but they are confident he will be declared fit to stand trial. The College has suspended his licence and will probably revoke it if he’s convicted. Not that he’ll be seeing patients anyway.”

“What is happening with his practice?” Doc asked.

“His grandson is going to take it over. He’s been working there for a while and there’s no indication he’s had any problems.”

“Oh, good. I don’t have to worry about my clinic getting overwhelmed.”

“Scott, did you figure out how he got word to his lawyer to make a complaint to the College?”

“Yes. He had recently given a letter to his son with the instructions to give it to his lawyer if he ever said the name “Dr Richards” to him. Apparently, he managed to get it out and his son asked if he wanted him to give the letter to his lawyer and he said ‘yes’. The letter contained the accusation with instructions to report it to the College.”

“It’s almost like he knew that something would or might happen to him”, I said.

“Seems like it”, Scott replied. “I think he was preparing for if his plan to kidnap you and take you to his dungeon failed and he ended up in custody. He could insert “Dr Richards” into a sentence and have it seem quite innocent if people were listening.

“I’m going to get out of here and let you have your dinner. It smells good.”

“You’re welcome to stay”, Doc said to him. “Call Bruce and have him come out and join us.”

“I’m alone tonight. Bruce is out of town on business.”

“You are welcome to have dinner with us, Scott.”

“I will gratefully accept, Julian. I was planning on picking up McDonald’s on the way home.” I could see Doc cringe. He hates fast food.

“That stuff will put you an early grave”, he said. “I’ll get the table set while you and Meredith wash up.” Doc always insists that people wash up before eating.

We sat down in the dining room to a delicious meal. “You definitely have to meet Bruce”, Scott said to Doc. “He insists on cloth napkins, too. Even when it’s just the two of us.”

“Paper napkins are so … trashy”, Doc replied.

“You two will definitely get along. I told him that you cook and he said he must meet you.”

“We’ll have to have you both out some night for dinner.”

“We’d be delighted to come. And you two will have to come have dinner at our place. Unfortunately, it will have to wait until after the trials. Otherwise, the defence could accuse me of not being unbiased in my investigations.”

After Scott left, Doc insisted I go to bed and watch tv or read while he cleaned up. He would not let me even sit on the stool and dry. I made my way upstairs and lay down without getting undressed. I fell asleep almost instantly.

I woke up when Doc tried to undress me. “What are you doing, Doc?” I asked.

“Getting you undressed, hon.”

“Oooooh, getting right into my pants”, I teased as he pulled them over my butt. “Usually the guy tries to fondle my breasts first.”

“Just how many guys have done this to you, Meredith?”

“I’ll never tell, Doc”, I replied with a wink. He laughed. “Come here, honey. Kiss me.” I reached my arms out to him.

Later, as I lay in his arms, I said “Doc, I’m really proud of you.”

“For what, hon?”

“Grooming Lilly. And putting her back in her stall.”

“I like Lilly. She’s a nice horse. And I’m proud of you, Meredith - for not panicking when you opened the note from Jane. You went to the barn to do something to divert your attention. You are doing great, hon. Thanks, at least in part, to the Ativan.”

I had to admit he was right about the Ativan keeping me reasonably calm.