As Doc finished dressing the incision, I thought about how lucky I was to have him. “Doc, I know I’ve said it before, but I’m so lucky to have you.”

“That goes both ways, hon”, he said as he took his gloves off and went to the sink to wash his hands. “I feel very lucky to have you.” He sat down on the bed.

“Where’s my ring, Doc? I want to see if I can put it on my other hand with tape or something.”

“The police took it to analyze for evidence. They want to see if there’s pieces of flesh or any blood on it. It will let them know if Jane has cuts - if there’s any on her face, it will be hard for her to hide them. I think you said you landed some punches on her face?”

“I sure did. Wish I’d got more in.”

“When they return the ring, I’m going to take it in and have a new band put on. I can get the jeweller to totally redo it, if you want. I know it might be upsetting to wear it after what happened.”

“No, Doc, it’s not necessary. It’s the ring *you* gave me, I don’t want any of it changed, just the band fixed and the setting cleaned if the cops find blood or flesh on it.”

“I’ll definitely get it cleaned, even if they don’t. And if I were to get it redone, it would still be from me.”

“I know, but it just wouldn’t be the same.”

“Oh, I brought you some things from home, hon”, Doc said, reaching for a bag he had brought in with him. He handed it to me. It was the bag I used for taking clothes and such from the farm to the apartment when I stayed there. I looked inside. He had brought my toothbrush, some toothpaste, my hairbrush, some hair ties, shampoo, a bar of soap, underwear and socks. My notebook computer and the charging cord was in there as well as a couple horse magazines.

“Doc, this is so thoughtful of you. Thank you!”

“You’re welcome, sweetie. I know the hospital shampoo and soap isn’t the greatest, so I thought you’d prefer your regular brands.”

My lunch tray came. I wasn’t hungry, but I knew it would upset Doc if I didn’t eat anything, so I tried. A few bites was all I was able to manage. I did drink the coffee. If I don’t want coffee, you know I am very, very sick.

I was tired, so I went to sleep. Doc said he was going to go get something to eat while I slept. I woke up to a volunteer knocking on the door. He had a bouquet of flowers, which he set on the table beside my bed. After he left, I tried to reach it to take it out of the wrapping, but I couldn’t do it without risking knocking them on the floor and it was hurting my side to stretch my arm out like that, so I decided to wait until a nurse came in or Doc got back. I dozed off again and re-awoke to him sitting in a chair beside my bed.

“Shouldn’t you be at the clinic, Doc?”

“I don’t work the day after being on call, remember?”

“Oh, yeah. My mind isn’t what it should be.”

“You have an excuse, hon. I did stop there and had my patients for the next couple weeks rescheduled. There are a couple that can‘t be put off, so Ms Jamieson is trying to get them to come in tomorrow while you are still here so that I won’t have to leave you alone at the farm to come in. I’m also looking around for another ob/gyn to join the practice. He or she can take my place while you are laid up and after that, I’m sure there will be enough work since the practice is still growing. I’d also like to ease up a bit on my workload and spend more time with you. I can more than afford to.”

“As long as you are happy with that, Doc.”

“Oh, I am, hon.”

“I’ll put you to work in the barn.”

“Haha, Meredith.”

“When can I get out of here, Doc?”

“Not for at least a couple more days, hon. Don’t be in such a hurry. Rest and get better. I’ll be here with you, you won‘t be alone.”

“I appreciate that, but I miss my critters.”

“I know you do. I’m sure they miss you, too. You will be home soon enough.”

“Doc, what if Jane comes around after we go home?”

“There’s an undercover officer there, remember?”

“There won’t be forever. She may wait a while until the police force pulls him.”

“We’ll deal with it if it happens, hon.”

“Doc, could you please hand me those flowers?” I gestured in the direction of the table beside the bed. “They came while you were gone but I couldn’t reach them to unwrap them.”

He got up and brought the bouquet to me. “Be careful, hon. I think they are in a vase.”

“I wonder who they are from?”

“I don’t know. You’ll have to look at the card to find out”, he said with a wink.

He helped me take the wrapping off to find a huge bouquet of gorgeous mixed spring flowers. I took the little card out of the envelope and read it. It was in Doc’s handwriting. “Get well soon, hon. Love, Julian.”

“They are beautiful, Doc. Thank you so much!”

“You’re welcome, hon. Here, let me put them on the table for you.” He took the vase and placed it on the table, then leaned down and gave me a kiss. I wrapped my arms around him in as best a hug as I could manage with him leaning over the bed rail.

“I need a shower, Doc.”

“You can’t have one.”

“Why not?”

“Mostly because of you being on the heart monitor, but also because of the stitches on your back and arms - the wounds and your incision need to stay dry.”

“Doc, I feel so yucky. You are always showering, you should understand.”

“I do. Tell you what, I’ll give you a sponge bath, okay?” I sighed. “You don’t want my hands all over you, hon?” he asked, teasing me. A rare moment.

“Well, now that you put it that way, Doc ….”

He got a couple basins and filled them with warm water. I handed him the bar of soap he’d brought for me. He bathed me so tenderly, being extra careful around my wounds and my incision area. It was so hard to believe that this very same man showed such anger and hatred in his face just yesterday, but I understood it was because Jane had harmed someone he loves. I would have been just as angry if she had harmed him instead of me. In fact, I was angry at her for what she did to him all those years ago.

When he was finished, he put a clean gown on me. “I think you should try and sleep for a bit, hon. It’s the best thing for you right now.”

“Ok, Doc. Will you stay with me?”

“I’m not going anywhere, Meredith. I’ll just put the basins away and the washcloths and towels in the laundry cart, then I will be back.”

I didn’t get much of a chance to sleep. As soon as Doc was back from doing that, Karen arrived for a visit. She brought coffee for Doc and I and a bouquet of flowers for me. “Hey, girl”, she said to me “What does the other one look like?”

“Ten times worse, I hope”, I replied. “And if one more person asks me that, I’m gonna slug them.”

“She’s been asked that by a few people, including me”, Doc chimed in. “Please forgive her crankiness.”

I changed the subject. “Thanks for the flowers! How are you guys? How are my critters?”

“Everyone is fine, they said to say hi. Ditto for your animals, they are all fine. It’s quiet at your farm, no sign of Jane.”

“That’s a relief.”

“But how are *you*?”

“I’m okay.”

“Is that true, Julian?” she asked Doc. “Is she really okay?”

“She’ll be fine”, he replied. “It was a long operation, there was a big mess to clean up, but I got it all. She will be quite sore for a week or two but I will be staying home to take care of her.”

“You do as he says”, Karen said to me. I rolled my eyes. “I mean it, Mer - we’ve been so worried about you, you behave or you’ll have to answer to me.”

“I like her”, Doc said to me. “A lot.”

“Haha, Doc.”

“You don’t have to worry about me anymore, Karen. The cyst is gone.”

“Can it come back?”

“Ask the expert.” I looked at Doc.

“Yes, it’s possible. She already had a smaller one coming up behind that big one. I’ll be getting regular ultrasounds on her to keep an eye out for more cysts - on both ovaries.”

“If she gets another one, she better let you take it out right away.”

“We generally don’t remove them unless they get bigger than 6 cm”, he told her. “But I might be inclined to do it at 5 given that this one got so big.”

“Still, she needs to let you take it out when *you* say so.”

“No arguments from me on that, Karen.” He looked at me. “Listen to her, Meredith.” I rolled my eyes again. Doc reached over and tousled my hair.

“I have to get going”, Karen said. “I’ll stop by again tomorrow if you are still here.”

“She will be”, Doc said. “At least a couple more days.”

“Don’t you get any ideas about signing out, Mer.”

“I won’t, Karen. I’m in too much pain to even think about it. And I wouldn’t do that to Doc after what he’s just been through with me.”

Shortly after Karen left, Curt Wilcox came by. “I see our frequent flyer is back”, he said to me.

“Very funny, Curt.”

“Julian asked me to see you since your sats are down again.”

I looked at Doc. “Sorry, hon, I haven’t had a chance to tell you.”

“Do you mind if I listen to your lungs?” Curt asked.

“No, go ahead.” I leaned forward for him. He untied my gown and carefully listened to my breathing.

“I don’t hear anything, but I will keep an eye on you while you are here. Julian, can you check her between now and tomorrow morning?”

“Sure thing, Curt.”

“Why do my sats go down like this?”

“I don’t know”, the pulmonologist said. “You had a pretty bad bout of pneumonia last summer and then you had surgery not long after that. Anesthesia is hard on your heart and lungs. Your lungs may not have fully recovered. Or you may just be unlucky. Keep in mind, too, that this time, you were under for a long time. Hopefully, you will not need surgery again!”

“I certainly hope I don’t! I‘d rather see you when you come to visit Julian at home than have to see you here!”

“Curt, what if she does need surgery again?” Doc asked. “Those cysts can come back so it could happen.”

“If it’s a planned surgery, I can put her on medications and inhalers for a few weeks prior and see if that helps. I think I’ll prescribe an inhaler now, it might help those sats come up faster. Use it 4 times a day, okay?” he said, looking at me.

The supper tray came shortly after Curt left. It looked like something from the swamp. “Doc, I’m not hungry. I just want to sleep.”

“Hon, please eat something. Just a little bit.”

“Would *you* eat that?”

“Probably not.”

“I rest my case.”

“If I go and get take out lasagne for you, will you eat it?”

“Yes, definitely. Some of it, at least. They have huge servings.”

“We can split it. I’ll be back shortly. Want coffee, too?”

“Please. Thanks, Doc.”

I dozed off while he was gone. I seemed to want to sleep more this time as compared to the last time I was in hospital. That was the time I got thrown from a horse and broke my leg and wrist.

When I woke up, Doc was sitting beside the bed reading a magazine. I lay there watching him for a few minutes. Finally, he looked over at me and realized I was awake. “Why didn’t you tell me you were awake, hon?”

“I didn’t want to disturb your reading. Besides, I’m still pretty sleepy.”

“Have your supper, then you can go back to sleep. I’ll heat it up for you in the microwave.”

The restaurant had sent two plates and had cut the lasagne in half for us. Doc would take the plates back tomorrow. One of the benefits of going to a high end restaurant in a small city for your take out meals. They knew Doc and knew he’d bring them back.

I ate about half of mine and said “Doc, I really appreciate you going out and getting my favourite food, but I’m not sure I can eat it all. I’m just not very hungry.”

“How is your pain?” he asked.

“Not good, Doc.”

“Are you feeling nauseous?” I nodded. Ok, I’ll get you some Gravol and your pain medication.” He got up and left the room. When he came back, he had a syringe in his hand. “I wrote an order for IV Gravol. It will be up from the pharmacy shortly. Here’s your pain medication.”

“Doc, can that wait until I’ve had my coffee? It makes me so drowsy and I don’t want to fall asleep before I’ve had it.”

“If you can’t eat your supper, how can you drink coffee?”

“It takes a lot more than pain to put me off coffee, Doc.”

He laughed. “Ok, hon. Let me go put it in the microwave for you, it‘s probably cold by now.”

Doc had gotten himself a coffee, too, and sat down to drink it with me. “Hon, tomorrow morning I’m going to go to the clinic for a bit. There are a couple patients I need to see before I’m officially on leave. The others can be rescheduled or put in with Nick. Will you be okay here by yourself?”

“I’ll be fine, Doc. Tend to your patients and don’t worry about me.”

“Before I go, I’ll ask the nurse to heat your leftover lasagne for you at lunch time if I am not back by then, though I should be. Can you please try and finish it? I know the pain is affecting your appetite, but you need to eat more than you did today.”

“Ok, Doc. I’ll try.”

“Thank you, hon. Also, I have surgeries scheduled for next Wednesday. I don’t want to cancel them, I think by then you will be okay on your own for one day. Plus, Karen will be around if you need anything. Finished your coffee?”

“Almost.” I had the last few sips and Doc took the cup from me. After disposing of it, he injected the pain medication into the IV, then he listened to my lungs as he’d told Curt he would do.

“All clear, Meredith”, he said as he put his stethoscope down.

A nurse came in with the bag of Gravol and hooked it up to my IV. After she left, he asked “Anything you need or want, hon?”

“Just you, Doc.” He put the syringe from the pain medication in the sharps container, then turned the light behind my bed off and lay down beside me, moving the wires from the cardiac monitor out of the way. “I’m so glad they let spouses and partners of patients do this, Doc.”

“I am too, hon. I would hate to have to go home and sleep alone while you are here. I wouldn’t get a good rest because I would be worried about you.”

“I just hope this is the last time I have to be in hospital.” I was lying on my right side facing him and I saw a troubled look come over him. “What’s that look for, Doc?”

“What look, Meredith?”

“Come on, Doc. You look worried, please be straight with me. What is it?”

“Nothing you need to worry about right now.”

“If it’s about me, then I need to know. Doc, come on, tell me.”

“You are like a bulldog, Meredith.”

“I know. Now tell me.”

“It’s just that the cysts could come back.”

“You’ve already told me that. You think they will, don’t you?”

“I don’t know if they will or not. Only time will tell. Now, close your eyes and go to sleep.” He moved a bit closer to me and I rested my head on his chest.

“Doc?”

“Yes?”

“When can I have sex again?”

“At least a couple weeks, hon. You’re thinking of sex already?”

“Well, there’s this hot doctor I have my eye on….”

Doc laughed. “He’ll wait. Now, get some rest.”

It did not take me long to drift off. Doc woke me up in the middle of the night. “I need to listen to your lungs, hon. You’re wheezing.” I sat up and he undid my gown and placed his stethoscope on my back. “Take a deep breath, please.” I breathed as deep as I could, but it didn’t seem to be as deep as I could normally get. He listened all over, then set his stethoscope down. “Still clear, hon. I don’t know what’s causing the wheezing, but I’ll get an X-ray in the morning if it hasn’t stopped. I’ll raise the head of the bed a bit more, then it’s back to sleep, ok?”

I was more than happy to go back to sleep. I was feeling a bit grumpy at being woken up and tempted to say something about that, but didn’t. Doc was just doing his job and being concerned. “Come cuddle with me, Doc”, I said instead. He lay down again and I snuggled up to him. He wouldn’t get under the covers with me as he felt that was inappropriate for a hospital room, but he covered himself with the blanket the nurse had brought him the night before. I missed being able to fully cuddle with him and hoped he’d let me go home soon.

In the morning, Doc consulted with Curt Wilcox and they decided to get an X-ray even though there was no more wheezing. My sats were still down, despite the inhaler. They insisted on getting a portable X-ray machine brought up, even though I wanted to go downstairs just to get out of my room for a few minutes. Doc told me that I could go for a walk down the hall and back later if I felt like I could handle crutches on my fighting hand. “Normally, we get patients up as soon as possible after surgery, but when you can’t walk, we aren’t able to do that.”

He left early to go to the apartment and shower, shave and change clothes before going to his clinic. The portable X-ray arrived shortly after he left. After the radiographs were taken, I tried to go back to sleep, but then the breakfast tray came and I had to have my morning coffee. I wasn’t interested in what the kitchen claimed was food.

I was just finishing my coffee when Dr Hampton, my cardiologist, came in. “Hi, Meredith”, he said as he approached my bed. “I’m sorry I wasn’t able to see you yesterday, it was very busy, but I have been in touch with Julian, and I can see your monitors on the computer. Mind if I listen to your heart?”

“Not at all.”

He took the stethoscope from around his neck and pulled my gown down to below my breasts. “Just breathe normally, Meredith”, he said as he placed the diaphragm on my upper chest. He listened at all five auscultation points, including the mitral, then listened to my lungs. When he was done, he put his stethoscope back around his neck and pulled my gown back up. “Everything looks and sounds fine. If it stays that way, you can come off the cardiac monitor tomorrow.”

“That would be great, thanks Dr Hampton. Maybe Doc… er, Julian, will let me have a shower!”

“You can have a shower now, Meredith.”

“He says I can’t come off the monitor to do so.”

“You can come off it for a shower. And if you want to go for a walk, he can hook you up to a portable monitor. I’ll talk to him and let him know. I’m sure he is just being cautious.”

“Cautious is Julian’s middle name.”

Dr Hampton laughed.

“BTW, Dr Hampton - I can ride my horses and work in the barn even with MVP, right?”

“Yes, Meredith, you can. Yours is a mild case so you have no restrictions on activities. Just listen to your body and if you get tired, rest.”

“Can you please tell Julian that? I have a feeling he will use the MVP to try to keep me from riding, now that the cyst is gone. It scares him, for some reason. I’ve been trying to get him to learn to ride, but he won’t even consider it.”

“I’ll tell him. I ride myself so I know it’s not as scary as he may think it is.”

“You ride? That is cool!” We spent a bit of time talking about our horses and riding, then he said he had to go see his other patients. He promised me he’d talk to Doc and try to get him to ease up about riding and farm activities.

“Thank you, Dr Hampton. I love Julian so much and I put up with his cautious demeanour because I accept him for who he is. I’d just like him to not worry so much. It’s a two way street, too. He’s put up with my non compliance regarding medical issues.”

“I would like to see you be more compliant, Meredith. So far, the only thing I’m asking of you is to see me and get an echo every six months, but if your MVP worsens, I may have to put restrictions on you until it’s fixed.”

“How do you “fix” it?”

“Surgery, if it gets to that point. But do not worry about that at this time. Unless things worsen real fast, you are nowhere near that right now.”

“That’s a relief. I’ve had enough of hospitals and surgery for a good long while!”

After Dr Hampton left, I managed to get a nap in before Doc returned. “How are you feeling, hon?” he asked.

“I’m okay, Doc. Dr Hampton came by, he said I can go off the cardiac monitor tomorrow. And that I can go off long enough to have a shower today.”

“I know, I talked to him after he saw you. There is still the problem of needing to keep your stitches dry, but I’ll see what I can do after lunch, okay?” I nodded. “This is for you.” He handed me an envelope.

I opened it and there was a beautiful Get Well card inside. It was signed by Ms Jamieson and Nick Bonilla as well as people from the lab downstairs in the building where Doc‘s clinic was. There was a note inside:

“Meredith,

We wanted to do something really meaningful as a get well gesture instead of the usual flowers that wilt within days. Plus, we figured you’d have received a lot of them anyway. So we took up a collection to donate to the horse rescue you work with. Please give the info to Julian as to where to send it and we’ll get that off as soon as possible.

We all wish you a very speedy recovery!”

“Oh, that is so nice of them!” I said to Doc. “I’ll have to call Alana and get their mailing address.”

“And this is from me, hon.” He handed me a gift bag. Inside, I found a stuffed palomino horse, similar to the one he’d given me when I had that bad bout of pneumonia. “Jules is lonely, he needs a lady companion.” I’d named that one “Jules” after Doc.

“I love her, Doc. Thank you!”

“You’ll have to think of a name for her.”

“That’s easy - Julie.” Doc laughed. “I would have chosen “Julie Anne” but Ben and Charlotte named their girl that, so I’ll go with ‘Julie‘”.

“Don’t forget the card, hon.”

I looked in the bag and pulled the card out. I opened it to find a note inside:

“Meredith:

I am so sorry for what happened. I wish she had attacked me instead of you. I am proud of you for being such a good patient for me, I know it’s not easy for you. Get better soon, hon. I love you with all my heart.

Julian (Doc)”

I looked at him. “Doc, that is so sweet of you but I’m glad she attacked me and not you. It would have killed you to have to fight back, I know how much you hate to hurt anyone.”

“I could have hurt her the other day, when I saw what she’d done to you.”

“You were angry, Doc and it was your reaction to it. But that isn’t you. Even if you could have inflicted damage on her, the guilt would have eaten you up afterward.”

“You might be right, hon.”

“No ‘might’ about it, I *am* right. Come here and let me give you a hug, honey.” Doc got up from his chair and lowered the rail on my bed so he could sit down. I gave him as best a hug as I could given my injuries and pain.

“Meredith, I’m scared that Jane is going to come after you when she finds out you are alive.”

“Do you really think she meant to kill me, Doc?”

“No, not at first. But I think her rage took over. You said she knew about your cyst and that I was worried about it rupturing. I believe she knew that a hard blow to that area could rupture it and cause internal bleeding.”

“I’d like to know how she found out about it.”

“I don’t know. She may have hacked into the clinic’s records and found yours. I’ve contacted the company that manages our computer system and they are going to look for evidence of someone from outside getting in.”

“That doesn’t say much for the security of your computers, Doc.”

“Jane is a computer expert, hon. It wouldn’t surprise me if she’s learned to hack. But that isn’t necessarily how she found out. We’re also looking at the possibility of someone getting in after hours and picking the lock to the paper charts. Building security is reviewing the tapes from the surveillance cameras to see if she got in.”

We were interrupted by a food service worker bringing my lunch tray. It did not look appetizing at all. Doc saw the look on my face. “I’ll get your leftover lasagne and heat it up. I’m very tempted to make a push for better food here. Patients need good nutrition and they won’t get it if the meals are so awful they won’t eat them.”

I did manage to eat the rest of the lasagne, which pleased Doc. After I was finished, he went downstairs to the café to get coffee for both of us. While we were drinking them, Scott Fletcher from the police department stopped by.

“We’ve been tracking the use of Jane’s credit cards. They have been used at various stores and gas stations travelling east. All of the purchases have been under $50 and the person used the tap feature on the cards. We got surveillance video from some of the places it was used at and it’s not Jane on them, it’s another female. And she’s not driving Jane’s car. The few images we got of her gassing up shows a different car with nobody else inside it, that we can see. But the video doesn’t show inside the car that well.”

“Why would someone else have her credit cards?” I asked. “Have they been reported stolen?”

“No. We don’t know why, it could be that Jane is somewhere else, like in a hotel room and not wanting to be seen on any cameras. I don’t think that’s a likely scenario, though. If she was hiding, she’d not have given her credit cards to a travelling companion, she’s a smart woman and she’d know we would track them.”

“What do you think is going on?”

“I think she gave the cards to this woman and had her travel east to throw us off. Or maybe she was going east anyway and she agreed to use them on her route. We’re trying to anticipate where she’s headed next and we have an APB out on the car in the next few provinces so hopefully an officer will see her and nab her.”

“What about Jane? Where would she be?”

“She could be travelling in another direction, we also have an APB on her car. If she’s doing that, she must be using cash. The other possibility is she’s still here in the province but staying away from her house in Vancouver and either not using her car or we just haven’t seen it. She doesn’t have any other vehicles registered under her name.”

“She could have a fake identity. Julian says she’s a whiz with computers.”

“That is a possibility we are looking at. Of course, there is also the possibility that her credit cards have been stolen, but I don’t think that is the case. In the meantime, we are adding another undercover officer at your farm and we’re going to put one here on the ward. Your room is right across from the nurse‘s station, so we might have someone pose as a clerk which would give him or her a reason to be there all the time.”

After Detective Fletcher left, I couldn’t stop thinking about what he’d said about Jane. I was getting very worried about her either showing up at the hospital or going to the farm to try to harm Karen and Kevin or even my horses. Obviously, the police were, too, as they were going to put an extra undercover officer at the farm and one here at the hospital. I could feel panic welling up in me. “Hon, try to relax. Your heart rate and blood pressure are going up and that is not good.” Doc was watching the cardiac monitor.

I closed my eyes and tried to relax and put Jane out of my mind. It wasn’t working. I had to get out of there and go home and make sure everything was okay. “Doc, let me out of here, please. I have to go home.”

“You can’t go home yet, hon. Your sats are way too low. And you have a catheter in.”

“Well, take it out.”

“I’ll take it out tomorrow.”

“Take it out or *I* will take it out.”

“You don’t want to do that, Meredith. Trust me.”

“Why not?”

“Because if you take it out without deflating the balloon that keeps it in there, you will do serious damage to yourself and will need surgery to fix it. Besides the other factors of pain and going under anesthesia again so soon after the last time, you would need a catheter in for a lot longer than this one will be in for.”

“Then I’ll go with it in.” I threw off my blankets and tried to get up on my knees. It was very painful, but I was determined to get out of there. My plan was to climb over the rail. Doc was on me in a flash. He put the rail down and grabbed me and held on to me. Damn, he’s fast when he wants to be! I tried to wrestle free of his grasp, to no avail. On the best of days, he is stronger than me and that day, I was quite weak from the surgery, pain and my low sats. I finally gave up and collapsed into his arms. I was so upset that I was shaking. He held me for quite a while, talking to me and trying to get me to relax.

“Doc, please let me go. I *have* to get to the farm.” I could feel panic building up in me.

“I can’t let you go, hon. You are nowhere ready to be discharged. Karen said everything is fine at home. You need to settle down and stop worrying about things that haven’t happened.” He held me a bit tighter. “Is this hurting you, hon?” I shook my head no.

After a while, he said “Hon, you are trembling. I’m going to get you a sedative, ok? I won’t do it without your consent but I really think you should have it. It will allow you to relax and I want you to rest for the remainder of the day. In fact, I’m putting you on a “no visitors” rule for now. I don’t want anyone else upsetting you. If the police have some news, they can tell me or come back tomorrow if you are doing better. Are you okay with this? Will you trust me to do what’s best?”

I looked up into his eyes. He had such a worried look on his face. It broke my heart. “Yes, Doc. I will do whatever you say to do.” There was instant relief on his face.

“Thank you, Meredith. I know it’s not easy for you.”

“Doc, I’m sorry. I’m just so frantic about my friends and my critters.”

“I know, hon. But there are now two undercover officers there and Karen and Kevin can hold their own. They have their guns, remember? They aren’t defenceless, even if Jane were to get past the police. Now, I want you to lay down and try to relax, I’ll go out and write the order for the sedative.”

“Ok, Doc.” I lay down and he checked that all my wires and tubes were in place, then he pulled the blankets over me and gave me a kiss before leaving the room to go to the nurse’s station.

Coming back into my room, he said “It will be up from the pharmacy soon, hon.” He looked at the monitors.

“Doc, do I *have* to have it?”

“The sedative?” I nodded. “No, I can’t force you, but your b/p and heart rate are still high. You really need to calm down. Why don’t you want it?”

“I don’t want to be out of it, Doc.”

“It won’t make you ‘out of it’, Meredith. It’s just a mild sedative, it will help you to relax and not feel panicky.”

“I’ll still be awake and alert?”

“Pretty much, hon. Though if you want to sleep, it will help you relax so that you can.”

“Ok, honey.”

When the medication came up, Doc injected it into my IV. Within minutes, I was feeling better and mellowing out. He kept an eye on the monitor and was happy with the results. “It’s looking better now. How are you feeling?”

“A bit better, Doc.”

“Good. Why don’t you sleep for a bit? You’ve been awake since before lunch. I think a nap before supper would be beneficial.”

“I think I will. I’m tired.”

“I’ll sit here and read while you sleep. If you need anything, just ask.”

“Thanks, Doc.” I closed my eyes and, despite the sedative, fell into a fitful sleep filled with dreams of Jane - and none of them good.