“Keep groaning like that and pretty soon you’ll forget how to talk.”

“Haha, Doc”, I replied.

He sat down on the stool again, put on fresh gloves and put lubricant on two of his fingers. “Ok, Meredith, I’m going to put one finger in your vagina and the other in your rectum. Try and relax.”

Try and relax - easier said than done when you know someone is about to put a finger up your butt, I thought. At least the doc has slender fingers. I suppose it could be worse - he could have the fingers of a sumo wrestler. Inwardly, I cringed at that thought.

I couldn’t help but tense up when I felt his middle finger at my anus. “Relax, hon”, he said softly. “Take a deep breath and bear down.” I did as directed and he slowly and gently pushed into me. “I’m going to push down on your pelvic region with my free hand, hon. It will be over in a minute.” Once again, I tensed up, in anticipation of him pushing in on the area that hurt. “I said to relax, Meredith. Tell me about Jack. What’s his story?” The doc knew that I took in abused and neglected horses, brought them back to health and re-homed the ones that were adoptable.

This time, I knew what he was doing. He was trying to distract me so I wouldn’t be so tense. I still answered, though. Was probably a good thing to be distracted anyway. “Jack is an ex racehorse, Doc. Apparently, he had a couple owners after retiring and the last one didn’t treat him well. He was all skin and bones when I got him, and terrified of people.” I winced as he pressed in on the area where it hurt, but I hoped Dr Richards hadn’t noticed. “It took a long time, but I got him back to his normal weight and to trust people again.”

“All done, hon”, he said as he removed his fingers from my orifices. He took a couple tissues from a box he had on the counter and gently wiped the lubricant off of me. Then he took his gloves off, put them in the trash and washed his hands at the sink. “Is he up for adoption?” he asked as he dried his hands and walked back over to the table.

“No, Doc. He’s been adopted twice and both times came back to me because he did not adjust to a new home. He’s with me for the rest of his life. So, you can come out and visit him any time.”

“You never know, Meredith. I may just take you up on that offer.”

“Any time, Doc. Any time.”

He helped take my feet out of the stirrups - I sure appreciated him taking his gloves off before doing that - and I sat up. “I’m all done, you can get dressed now. I’ll be back in a couple minutes.”

What a relief that was to be done! I put my clothes and shoes back on and sat down on the chair beside the desk to wait for him to return. I was really hurting now, after all the poking and prodding he had done and I was not looking forward to the drive home.

In a couple minutes, Dr Richards knocked and came back in. He sat down at the desk. “I’m pretty sure you have a cyst on your ovary”, he said. “I shouldn’t be able to feel the ovary, but I can. That says to me that there’s a sizable cyst there. However, I won’t know for sure until I see the ultrasound results. Ms Jamieson sent the requisition this morning, so you should hear soon about a date.” Ms Jamieson is his nurse-receptionist. “The good news is the rest of the exam was completely normal.”

“Well, at least that is something.”

“You ok, hon? You look a little pale”

“Just a little pain, Doc.”

“A little? What number on the scale of 1-10?”

“6”

“Knowing you, that’s an 8. You always minimize it. I know you don’t like taking anything, but I’m going to give you a prescription for a painkiller. I want you to take it when you get home. Do you think you are okay to drive? I can take you home if you want.”

“Thanks, Doc, but I’m okay. I appreciate the offer, though.”

“I’m also going to send you for blood work. The lab will be closed for the day, but come in tomorrow and get it done. Get someone to drive you in.” He handed me the requisition for the blood work and a prescription. “Call us when you get a date for the ultrasound and we will book you to come in for the results. I want you to rest until I see you again. No heavy work, inside or outside.”

“Aw…” was all I got out.

“I know what you are going to say. This is an order. No heavy work.”

“Doc, I can’t comply with that. Sorry, I only promised I wouldn’t until I saw you today.”

“I am extending that order”, he said in a firm voice. “No heavy work. That is final. I want your word.”

I *knew* I was going to regret telling him I don’t go back on my word easily! “I’m not going to give you my word.”

His voice softened. “Meredith, I’m only looking out for your best interest. You need to take it easy until this problem is resolved. I will be very worried about you if you don’t agree to follow my orders.” I could see the concern in his face. Why did he always make me melt when he got that worried look? “Look, I’m only asking you to not do heavy work. You can do light work, such as feeding your horses, as long as you feel up to it. But no riding.”

“Ok, Doc”, I gave in. “I won’t do any heavy work or riding until the results are in. After that, no promises.”

“All right, we can do this in steps if we have to. Are you giving me your word?”

I sighed. He was acting like a lawyer, making me state that I give my word and not leaving any room for me to wiggle out. “Ok, you have my word.”

“Good. I will see you soon and I want you to call me if your pain gets worse.”

“Yes, Doc.”

“Promise?”

“Yes.”

He got up and walked toward the door, stopping to put a hand on my shoulder and say “We’ll get this taken care of, hon, and have you back to normal soon.”

“Thanks, Doc.” I smiled up at him, though it was a forced smile.

A couple weeks later, I was back to get the results of the tests. “How have you been feeling, dear?”, Dr Richards asked.

“I’m going out of my mind, Doc. I have work that needs to get done but you won’t let me.”

“You have been following orders and taking it easy?”

“Yes, and it’s driving me nuts.”

“Unfortunately, I have to extend the order.”

My heart sank. “For how long?”

“At least a few months. There is a cyst and it’s bigger than I thought - 10.3cm. It has to come out. It will take time to arrange, and it’s a six week recovery. I can’t do it laparascopically, as it’s too big.”

“Whoa, Doc”, I said. I’m not having surgery. No way, no how.”

“You have to, hon. The cyst is too big to go away on it’s own.”

“Sorry, Doc. Not going to happen. I can’t lay around that long.”

“What can I say to convince you?”

“Nothing. I’m not having surgery, and I’m not agreeing to any order to not do any heavy work.” I got up to leave, figuring there was no point staying there arguing about it.

“Where are you going?”, he asked.

“I might as well go home since we are at an impasse here.”

“Sit down.”, the doctor commanded in a firm tone of voice.

“There’s no point”, I said and started toward the door.

“I said sit down. Now.” He reached out and grabbed me by the arm. I tried to shake it off, but he held on. I sat down.

“Before you go, I want you to be aware of the risks of refusing surgery. Your ovary could twist or the cyst could rupture. Neither one of those is fun.”

“I’ll take the risk, Doc.”

He sighed. “You sure are stubborn. Ok, I want you to call me or get your ass to the ER if you experience sudden pain more severe than you have been having, nausea or vomiting, understand?”

I had never heard the doc even come close to swearing before. I looked at him in astonishment and nodded.

“You are going to have an ultrasound and see me every 3 months until I decide otherwise. Understand?” I nodded.

“And finally, you are going to take it easy, no heavy work. Understand?”

“No, Doc. I cannot and will not agree to that.” He looked defeated and I found myself melting. “It’s nothing personal, I just can’t sit around.”

“You know I’m going to worry about you.”

“There’s no need to worry about me. I will be fine.”

“You got your medical degree where?” I sat silently. “Ok, I can’t talk you into surgery or taking it easy. I am going to call you every week to see how you are doing. Maybe twice a week. No ducking my calls and you are to be honest in telling me how you are feeling. Okay?”

“Ok.”

“All right. I will talk to you next week. We will be in touch regarding your next ultrasound and appointment. I know it’s not in your nature, but please try to take it as easy as you can.”

“I’ll do what I can, but no promises. Haying season is almost here.”

“Oh, no you don’t! I’ve heard how hard that work is! I refuse to permit it.”

“What are you going to do about it?” I asked defiantly.

“I may just take you over my knee and spank you.”

“You never know, I might like that, Doc.” I got up from my chair and turned toward the door. I put my hand on the door knob, then turned around and looked at Dr Richards, who was blushing and seemed to be at a loss for words. “Look, I know you are worried about me and I don’t want you to be. I will do what I can to keep the activity down, but no promises, ok?”

“I guess that’s the best I’m going to get out of you. Just please take care of yourself.”

“I will. And I won’t be haying by myself. I may be crazy but I’m not stupid. I help the farmer who leases some of my fields from me. In exchange for the use of the fields and me helping him with the haying, I get hay for my horses for the winter. His sons also help, so there’s a few of us doing the work.”

“Well, I feel a bit better knowing that. But I’ll be calling you *every* day during the season instead of once or twice a week.”

“Yes, Doc. Talk to you soon.”