I'm 26 now but I guess my story started a long time ago and is like a lot of others here. I had been toilet trained somewhat late, (at age 5) for daytime but still had occasional nighttime wetting accidents (3 or 4 a month) until I was 7½, and then the problem started getting much worse. When it turned into a 4 or 5 times a week thing, my mother decided that was enough and I was carted off to the doctor's for an examination. It disclosed nothing wrong except that I was a bedwetting kid and would probably grow out of it sooner or later. I didn't know then it would be later. I was made to have rubber sheets on my bed anyhow, but just a few days later, my mother informed me that she was tired of changing my wet bedding and pajamas every morning and I was not getting any better, so I was going to be put back in diapers at night until I stopped. At first, I didn't know quite how to react. I have always been fascinated with diapers. When we would have friends over and they had smaller children with them, I would always love standing nearby and watching them get changed. It was just so exciting to see this happen, looking intently as the mothers would take down their infant's pants, remove the soiled or wet diaper and put a clean one on them. I remember thinking sometimes that I wished it was me. But suddenly, I had to endure the consummate disgrace for a kid: I WAS A BEDWETTER!!! In any event, at age 7½, there's not much you can do except to go along with it. Even though I had been fascinated with diapers, I wasn't ready for this because I felt that being forced back into them due to bedwetting was a huge comedown. I wasn't bedwetting on purpose. My mother was not an advocate of disposable diapers. She thought they were unreasonably expensive and wasteful, so I spent my first 5 years in traditional cloth and rubber pants. At age 5, I was still day wetting and she decided to take steps to get me toilet trained on my own so I could begin kindergarten. For the proceeding 4 weeks before school began, during the day, I was taken to the bathroom on an hourly basis, diapers and pants pulled down and then made to sit on the toilet for 5 minutes, whether anything came out or not. After about 1 week of this, I finally began to get the message and started to tell her when I needed to go. A few days later, she moved me into training pants and 2 weeks after that, I began kindergarten with no real incidents or problems. I was still nowhere near being dry at night and wore diapers at bedtime for another year.

I can still vividly remember the first night. Thinking I might make a big fuss, my dad was in my room at bedtime to assist. When they called me into the room to get ready for bed, mom was sitting on my bed, holding a cloth diaper and pins along with a pair of white plastic pants. My dad then told me that he used to wet his bed too when he was my age and that did help a little. Mom made me get undressed, including my underpants, and lifted me up onto the bed. I recall not being in the best of moods. She told me to lay down and then lift myself up, and when I did, she slipped the diaper under me and then pulled it up between my legs and pinned it into place. Next came the plastic pants. She slipped them over my feet and legs and pulled them up over my diaper. I remember asking her that if I had to wear diapers and pants to bed, did I really have to have rubber sheets too and she said yes because if the plastic pants leak, she didn't want me ruining the mattress. I then got my PJs put on and was tucked in. After the 2 of them kissed me goodnight, they told me I was not being punished and as soon as I stopped wetting, they would take the diapers off me and not to worry about it, no one else was going to know. They turned off the light, but I remember laying there in the dark, clutching my favorite stuffed rabbit doll, almost crying and thinking: I DON'T BELIEVE IT! I JUST GOT PUT BACK IN DIAPERS!

The following morning, mom woke me up and I remember, although I was almost crying the night before, I did get a good night's sleep. I had wet again during the night and the diapers were soaked, but they worked. I remember her saying that she was happy because at least I didn't wet my bed. The next night was a bit easier as I knew what was going to happen and within only a few days, I had accepted the situation. My diapers were now consistently wet almost every morning. Over the next few months, I would also feel better at night because I knew the sheets and blankets wouldn't be drenched when I woke up. It's not easy for a bedwetting kid. I remember a few times waking up at 3 or 4 in the morning, peeing like crazy and being totally unable to stop until my bladder had completely emptied. I guess not being fully awake might be the cause, but it was then I was very glad to be wearing rubber pants. Other times, I would wake maybe 15 minutes before mom would get me up for school anyhow and didn't feel like getting her up to take down the diapers (I was told to do this. If I awoke and needed to go to the bathroom, I was supposed to get mom or dad to help). Instead, most of the time, it was easier to just fill the diaper. When mom came in to get me up and change me, my pants were soaked. But since this is what she was expecting to see anyway and the bedding was otherwise dry, I got away with it. She didn't know I had wet on purpose. I must have done it 100 times!

Part 2

We lived in 2 different apartments in central New Jersey until I was 9 years old and then dad got transferred and we moved into a house in Bergen County. In the second apartment, (ages 6-9) which was actually a condo, we had neighbors across the street who we got to know fairly well. Janice Brewer was divorced and had 2 boys. Billy was my age and there was a younger brother, Greggie who was about 3 months old when we met them. Although Billy and I were good friends and played together all the time, he was a little strange with some of the things he did and could be unbelievably babyish and immature. Once, he grabbed his brother's bottle from him and began drinking from it himself. Another time, I saw him take Greg's pacifier directly from his mouth and started chewing on it. On yet another occasion, Billy and I were playing outside when he suddenly jumped up, yelled "oops" and quickly ran inside. As he was running, I could see that he had just wet his pants. And unknown to me at the time, Billy also wet his bed and was diapered at night (just like me) to keep him from peeing his sheets and ruining the mattress. Mom and I found out about it one day. We were over their place in the living room as Janice was grabbing a big load of clean laundry from the dryer. When she walked through the living room, a pair of large plastic pants fell from the heap of clothes she was carrying, onto the floor and mom picked them up. They were much too big to be Greggie's and mom asked Janice if she had a bedwetting kid too. Janice said "Yes, they're Billy's and he's never had a dry night in his life". Mom had been fairly good at keeping my bedwetting a secret, but since Janice had just told about Billy, she gave her all the soggy details about me. I was pretending to be watching TV, but then got red faced. I remember mom asking where she got Billy's diapers. Janice said she had diaper service mostly for Greggie, but they could get any size you needed. When I was put back into diapers for bedwetting, I was actually wearing large baby stuff and even though it fit fairly well at the time, (I was small for my age) it was starting to get a bit tight. A few days later, Janice called over to our place to tell mom the man from the diaper service was there. She went over to talk to him and he came back a few days later with about 2 dozen larger cloth diapers and 10 pairs of big kids plastic pants for me. I remember seeing him at the front door handing mom all the stuff and then he looked at me like he was thinking "Well, I guess he's another one".

Due to my bedwetting problem, I never did much in the way of sleepovers, but one Saturday, mom asked if I wanted to do one with Billy. She and dad were going out for the evening and said Janice would baby-sit for me. She said that since Billy and I both wore diapers at night (along with Greggie), neither of us should be embarrassed and I could stay the night at their place. I had never actually seen Billy in diapers, but since his mom said he wore them too, I wasn't so afraid. I think we were both 8 or 9 at the time. Half an hour before leaving, mom called me into my bedroom and told me that she was going to put my diapers on me now and after making me go to the bathroom, had me get undressed. As she finished pinning me, she asked if I wanted my rubber pants on now or later, if later, Janice would put them on me. I said now was OK, so I was put in them. She told me that if I needed to go to the bathroom before bedtime, to tell Janice and she would take my diapers down. She also told me that although Janice would have extra underwear for me, not to wet the diapers before bed. When I didn't reply, she got more stern with me: "Don't wet your pants before bed!". She put my PJs on me along with my shoes and we went across the street. She handed Janice the bag with my extra night clothes, but said I probably wouldn't need them as I usually just sleep through and then she kissed me and left for the night. Billy saw me and was staring at my PJs like he knew I already had diapers on. It wasn't hard to tell, they really made my PJs stick out and the plastic pants made noise when I walked and the elastic band was visible. He asked if I wanted to see his bedroom and I said OK, so we went in there. He pointed at his bed (which was much bigger than mine) and said, "It's got rubber sheets on it" and I told him mine did, too. Janice came into the room with my extra stuff and Billy said, "Joey wants to see the rubber sheets." I really hadn't said that, but Janice lifted up the regular bed sheet anyhow to show me a big vinyl plastic sheet covering the entire mattress. Billy asked to have his diapers on now too, so Janice made him get up on the bed and I just watched, almost totally stunned that I was not the only kid in the world who wet his bed. She began taking off his clothes and then got a cloth diaper from the chest of drawers. As she was removing his underpants, I could see that Billy had an erection. I had never seen another boy with an erection before (I had some myself and didn't know why it would do that), but Billy's penis was standing straight up and he was giggling like he was really enjoying what was going on. Janice just seemed to ignore it and pinned the diaper on him. Then she put him in a pair of rubber pants along with his PJs. I was shocked at what happened next. She asked him if he wanted his Binky and he said, "Yes" and she went over to another drawer, opened it and took out a pacifier and poked it into his mouth. Then she asked me if I wanted one, too. I didn't know what to say. I used to have one and liked it, but mom threw it out when I was about 6. I was a bit reluctant, but said yes and Janice reached back into the drawer, took out another and put it into my mouth. I just couldn't believe it, two 8 (almost 9) year old bedwetting boys, both in diapers and pants, chewing on pacifiers.

I guess that because I was an only kid, it made seeing things for the first time all that much more strange but Billy and I were playing on the floor when Janice left the room and returned with Greggie a few minutes later. He was around 2 years old at the time. She sat down on the bed and as we watched, she removed her blouse and then took off her bra and let Greggie suckle her for about 10 minutes. I had never seen a baby nursing before. She finally put Greggie back in his crib and returned still topless to Billy's room. Billy came over to her and asked "Mommy, can I drink?" and Janice said yes and she sat down on the bed again. Billy leaned over and while he was standing up, started suckling her breasts for around 5 minutes as she hugged him. I just stood there beside myself, not knowing what to think. She then put her clothes back on and left the room. Around 10 PM, she returned and tucked us in for the night. Billy and I were sleeping in the same bed as it was fairly large and had waterproof sheeting on it. Just a few minutes after turning off the light, Billy rolled over and said "Hey Joey, guess what?" I said "What?" and he suddenly began kissing me. It was really weird. I told him to stop, but just them, Janice heard us making noise and came in the room, told us to go to sleep and then left.

We woke up the next morning at around 9 AM. Billy got up first and jumped out of bed. Before I did, I first ran my hand over my PJs to feel my plastic pants and knew right away I had wet. Billy took off his pajama bottoms, but I could see through his plastic pants and he was dry. He apparently needed to go to the bathroom, but was too lazy to get his mom to help. As I mentioned, he could really be babyish at times. He said "Hey Joey, look at me!" While I was looking at him, he started peeing into the diaper and completely soaked it and was once again laughing about it. Shortly, his mom came into the room and told us it was time to get up. She asked if we were wet and both of us answered yes. She then started to change Billy, seeing his wet diaper, not knowing he went through the entire night dry, but instead peed his pants on purpose after he had gotten up. She made him lie down on a changing pad, took off his wet rubber pants and diaper and then put them into the pail. After wiping him off, she put a pair of white cotton training pants on him, instead of his regular underpants. She brought Greggie in next and put him down on the pad as I watched intently. Greggie was wearing Pampers and his diaper was wet and dirty and he needed a real cleanup. He also stunk really bad. I was next. Janice opened the bag of extra clothes, but then noticed that mom had forgotten to put my daytime underwear in it. Janice said the only thing she could do was to just change my wet diaper with a dry one and said to lie down on the pad. I did and she asked if I was dirty. I told her no and she pulled down my PJ bottoms along with the rubber pants. She unpinned the wet diaper and told me to lift up. When I did, she pulled off the wet one and replaced it with a dry one, pinned it in place and then pulled my rubber pants back up along with the PJ bottoms. She put my wet diaper into a plastic bag and then into the extra clothes bag. About 20 minutes later, mom came over and took me home. While undressing me back in my room, she noticed my diaper was dry and I told her that Janice had just changed me.

Another time, dad was out of town on a business trip. Mom and Janice decided to go out for the evening to a movie and they got us a baby sitter, a teenage girl named Donna who lived nearby. We went over to the Brewer's place (with me already in diapers and PJs) just as Donna was arriving. Before leaving, I remember Janice telling her that Billy and I still wet at night, but we both wore diapers and already had them on. She had just changed Greggie, but said to be sure and check all 3 of us before bedtime. I was always embarrassed beyond words when anyone else found out about my bedwetting, but Billy was romping around the living room in just a T-shirt and socks, a diaper and a pair of plastic pants, not caring at all who might see him. Mom and Janice then left and we went into the living room to watch TV. After a little while, there was suddenly a very bad smell present and attention immediately turned to Greggie. Billy quickly said, "I think Greggie just pooped." Donna went over and picked him up and then took him to his room as Billy and I closely followed. I knew I was probably going to get to see another diaper change and despite the fact that I was also wearing one at the moment, relished the thought. Donna put Greggie down on the changing table and started undressing him. I just stood there, totally captivated and enthralled. As she opened his diaper, Greggie started peeing and she had to quickly pull it back in place to keep him from spraying all over the room. She asked Billy where his mom kept the diapers and Billy quickly got her a clean one. Greggie had really let go and filled his pants. Donna was busy for the next 10 minutes mopping up his BM. Once again the room really stunk. She finally got the clean diaper on him, dressed him and we returned to watch TV. At 9:30, we got chased off to bed. Donna put Greggie in his crib and Billy and I went into his room. I climbed into bed, but Donna then came in and told me to pull down my PJs. She put her hand down my diaper to check it, but I was dry. I looked over at Billy and could see through his plastic pants and once again, he had peed in them before bedtime. I had done that once before at home and mom got mad at me for it. Donna remarked what a couple of big babies she thought we were. She just couldn't believe that 2 boys our ages still wet their beds and needed diapers at night. She told Billy to lie down, took down his rubber pants and removed his wet diaper. Just like the last time, I could see that he had a real boner and was giggling the whole time. Donna gave him a disgruntled look and quickly pinned a dry diaper on him. I think he really enjoyed wetting. When she finished diapering him, she told us both to go to sleep and then turned off the light.

After we had moved to northern New Jersey, the Brewers came to see us a couple times for day visits, but I remember around Christmas one year, mom said she got a card from Janice. She had remarried and moved to Pittsburgh with the boys and we never did see them again.

Part 3

As I mentioned, I was always humiliated beyond words when others found out about my bedwetting and diapers. Most of the time, I was able to conceal it, but for as long I wore them, it was inevitable that sooner or later someone else would find out and I can vividly recall several incidents when other people discovered my secret.

CAUGHT!: The Davis kids

Soon after I turned 9, we moved from the condo to a house in northern New Jersey. We had some neighbors who lived behind us, the Davis family and they had 2 boys, Barry and Bobby. Barry was around 16 and Bobby about 12. We didn't have a dryer at the time so after washing my bed clothes, mom used them hang out on the line to dry. I never really thought much about it, except one day I was playing in the back yard. Barry and Bobby were in their yard (which was directly behind ours) and I went over to talk to them. Barry always seemed to be a smart ass anyhow, and when they saw all my stuff hanging on the line, he asked me if I had any brothers or sisters. I told them no, I was an only kid. Barry then wanted to know how come, if I was an only kid, there were diapers and rubber pants hanging on our clothesline. OH, NO! I was caught! Suddenly, they knew my secret. There was no one else to blame it on and I quickly turned beet red and just walked away almost crying. A few months later, I was walking down their street and they were both standing in the driveway talking with another kid who was sitting on a bicycle. I was on the other side of the street as I went by their house, but Barry saw me, turned to the other kid and said something to him. Suddenly, all 3 of them looked in my direction and started laughing. Even though I couldn't hear what was said, I think Barry had just blabbed about me.

CAUGHT!: My cousin Davey sees me in diapers

When I was about 10, we were over my aunt and uncle's place one Sunday afternoon and we usually stayed late. I have 2 cousins, Davey who was 12 at the time and his sister Kitty who was 9. It was late and we were getting ready to leave. Mom had brought my bed clothes along (diapers included) in a brown bag because we lived about an hour away and I would usually fall asleep in the car during the ride home. Mom went out to the car to get my stuff and when she returned, she asked my aunt if we could use one of the bedrooms to put my PJs on me and my aunt said it was OK to use Davey's. We went in and closed the door. She had me take off all my clothes and then pinned my diaper on me. She handed me my rubber pants and as I was stepping into them, Davey just suddenly walked into the room, and there I was, standing there, wearing nothing but a diaper and a pair of rubber pants. He stood there for a few seconds, totally stunned I think, said "sorry" and left as fast as he came in. Once again, I turned as red as a beet in my total embarrassment just as my aunt walked by. She knew about my bedwetting, saw what had just happened and told us she would talk to Davey and make sure he didn't tell anyone else about it. The next time we were there though, he gave me some really strange looks.

CAUGHT!: The Richardsons

I think I was also around 10 and remember it being summer time. Because it was warmer, I slept in just a diaper, pants and a T-shirt. One morning, I woke up a little later than normal. I was wet (as usual) and went downstairs to get mom to help change me. I didn't know that 2 of our neighbors, Mr. & Mrs. Richardson were also in the house and as I ran into the kitchen, I suddenly saw mom and them sitting at the table. They turned and looked at me standing there in a wet diaper and plastic pants and I don't know who was more surprised to see who. Once again, I turned red with embarrassment and quickly ran back upstairs to hide until they left.

CAUGHT!: The baby sitter

I was around 11 and Mom and dad were going out again one night, so they got a neighbor to look after me. Her name was Verna Howard. She lived across the street and was in her middle 40s I think. Her kids were grown up and had moved out. Mom had already put my diapers and PJs on me when she arrived at our house, but apparently Verna didn't know that I wasn't toilet trained at night. When mom and dad left, she and I went into the living room to watch TV. She kept looking at me strangely and finally when I got up and walked by her, she stopped me and pulled the back of my PJ bottoms open for a look at what was in there. I think she was absolutely stunned to see me in a diaper and plastic pants. She asked "How old are you?" and I told her 11. She asked wasn't I a bit big to still be wearing diapers? I told her I had to because of bedwetting and once again turned red. I recall her saying "Well, I think you're the first boy your age I've ever met who can't stay dry at night."

Part 4

My bedwetting and diaper wearing went on for years. Around age 11, I learned how to fold them and handle the pins without stabbing myself. Mom would often check up on me, but just before bedtime, I would place the folded diaper on my bed, lie down on it, pull it into place and pin it. The rubber pants were easy to do. In the morning, I could get them off and put into the pail without any problem.

Even though I was in diapers at night, I still had some daytime wetting problems. One day after school when I was about 10, I was home watching TV. I was somewhat tired and lay down on the living room couch and then fell asleep. Half an hour later, I suddenly woke up as my mother was shaking me and yelling. I had just peed my pants along with the couch. She quickly got a towel in an attempt to sop up my wet mess, but it didn't work very well as she pulled the cushions out of their casings to keep them from getting stained any further. This was the only real time I ever got punished for a wetting accident. It cost $45 to get the couch and cushions cleaned and I thought I would never hear the end of it. For the next 2 years, I was not allowed on the furniture unless I was fully diapered and had a rubber sheet under me.

When I was 13, almost 14, I began waking up with dry pants more often and told mom about it. After about 2 months of consistently dry diapers in the morning, the bedwetting had basically stopped and I was allowed to start wearing regular underwear at night, but mom made me keep the rubber sheets until I was almost 18. It was actually a good decision. My last major bedwetting accident occurred when I was 15. I think I drank too much pop the night before, but remember waking up at around 3 AM, ABSOLUTELY FLOATING! I had to get mom to help me and remember her saying that she hoped I wasn't starting in with this again. I must have peed a gallon as my underwear (shirt included), both PJ halves, the sheets, mattress cover, 2 pillows and a blanket were drenched. Fortunately, the rubber sheets kept me from trashing the mattress too. I can't recall ever having an accident like that!

My bedwetting basically stopped around the onset of puberty, but I began noticing strange things happening to me. Instead of thinking about girls, I was thinking about diapers all the time. A few months after I finally stopped wetting, mom packed up the diapers and gave them away, but my thoughts about them just wouldn't quit. Actually they were getting stronger. One day, I was over at a friend's house. He had a 2½ year old brother who was not yet toilet trained. We were down in the basement where his mother had the younger brother's underwear items hanging up to dry. I absolutely couldn't control myself when I saw the stuff and when no one else was looking, I grabbed a pair of the plastic pants and stuffed them into my pocket, hoping I wouldn't be seen. I got away with it. When I returned home, I quickly went to my room to try them on, but they were much too small. Even though I couldn't quite fit in them, I recall being incredibly excited and although I didn't know why at the time, it made my penis stick straight up.

We lived near a shopping mall and I used to love going through one of the larger stores there because they had a well stocked baby department and a display case filled with plastic pants of all kinds. I would always make sure to sneak a peek at them whenever we were there. Not long afterwards, I went by myself to another local discount store near our house, As I was walking by the baby items, I saw packs of plastic pants for sale. I stopped to look at them and noticed they also had them in larger sizes. I didn't have any money with me, but returned a few days later with the required $2.98, bought the largest size they had and sneaked back to the house with them. Once again, I almost couldn't control myself. Later, when no one else was home, I tried them on and even though I weighed almost 100 lbs at the time, I could still get in them.

Up until high school, I was bewildered by the ever increasing frequency of the erections or why it even happened at all, but other than just getting hard and excited, it didn't really go any further. Then one day in sex ed class, we were shown a rather explicit film on the subject. I think I was 16 or 17 at the time. I came home from school that afternoon. Mom was out and dad was still at work. While in my room, an uncontrollable urge came over me and I remember removing my pants and then laying down on the bed. I turned over on my stomach and began humping the mattress and after a minute or two, shot off for the first time. It was an unbelievably good feeling. Since I didn't know what was going to happen beforehand, I managed to come all over the sheets. I mopped up some of it, but it left a small stain and I hoped mom wouldn't see it. The next time, I first put a clean sock over my penis to contain the explosion and it actually worked fairly well. Soon, I started doing it while clutching or wearing the plastic pants and found it was even more exciting.