I1ve always found ways to wear diapers, ever since it was decided that I no longer needed them. I used to borrow my little brothers1, and for a long time I could still fit into Gerber super size baby pants. I think the first time that I let someone see me in diapers was when I was about twelve. I used to go to the big Korvette1s store in New York City where there was a big common dressing room. I got some very strange looks from guys who had never seen such a big boy still wearing diapers and rubber pants.

When I went away to college, I found that the urge to go out wearing just diapers was so strong I decided I had to take the risk. I had found good, babyish disposable diapers by then, which I often wore to bed or under my clothes. So one warm spring afternoon I drove out of town to a mall in the suburbs, went inside to the men1s room, took my shorts off, and threw them into the trash. I was left wearing nothing but a t-shirt, sneakers, and a double-thick disposable diaper. I guess I must have been about nineteen.

I walked out of the bathroom and started toddling back through the busy concourse. At first I was amazed that nobody seemed to notice, but then I began to hear some laughter and comments. I tried to smile at everyone, and that seemed to make it easier for them to take. People figured that it was some kind of joke. I must have spent fifteen minutes walking around the mall before I got back to my car. The whole experience was really exciting, and in a way, kind of a relief.

I1ve spent a lot of time since then going out and about in baby clothes. Mostly I cover up my diapers with pull on shorts and wear babyish stripey t-shirts and red sneakers. In colder weather I wear denim or corduroy overalls. My favorite little boy clothes are shortalls. I have several pairs in different colors, mostly OshKosh, and all with snaps in the crotch for easier diaper changes. I have to carry my own diaper bag, and sometimes people ask me where the baby is. "I1m the baby", I tell them before popping my bottle into my mouth.

When I1ve gone out wearing just diapers, I try to provide people with an excuse for my baby attire - letting them think that I1m involved in some kind of frat hazing or costume party. One scenario that has been fun is where I1ll stop by a convenience store at night and buy a bag of ice. If people give me trouble I act very embarrassed, telling them it1s a costume and I was sent out on a dare. Of course I have worn just diapers at Halloween, and that has always been very fun, even though a little cold.

One of the best times I ever had was when I made up a bunch of flyers advertising a big discount sale at a local baby furniture store. I stood outside a shopping center wearing just diapers and a t-shirt, and told people who asked that my sister was the store manager and that the whole thing was her idea. Everyone was really nice. Some parents told their children that they had better watch out not to grow up still in diapers like me. An older couple were very amused and friendly and let on that they knew what I was really up to. Best of all, a pretty lady told me that I looked "very sexy". When one of the shopping center guards came by to explain that I wasn1t allowed to distribute flyers on their property he was very polite and made no objection to my walking back through the mall to my car. A bunch of teenage girls started following me, asking if I wore Huggies or Luvs, and a couple of them even offered to change me. I don1t think they were as serious as I would have liked, or I would have definitely accepted the offer.

I1ve become a little more shy and careful about wearing only diapers since having a scary experience with a nasty mall security guard. I guess that people had been so nice to me that I got kind of carried away, and thought I could run around anywhere in my diapers. Anyway, I told the guy that I needed to get changed and asked him where the men1s room was. He pointed it out, and I went in to change my too obviously very wet pampers. While I was in the bathroom, he called the police, and when I came out of the stall, all freshly changed and smelling of baby powder, they grabbed me and hustled me into the security office. It was very frightening, and I started crying and telling them that it was all a mistake, just a joke. One of the officers was very tough and went through my diaper bag, asking why I had eight fresh diapers, and a baby bottle full of milk, and a bib, and a pacifier in my bag if it was just a joke. But the chief officer was much kinder, and I guess, thought the whole thing was very funny. He kept laughing and suggesting that they should send me downstairs to the early childhood center...I wish. Actually they made me go talk to a psychiatrist, who lectured me about upsetting other people, and made me feel miserable.

So I haven1t gone wandering around in just diapers with no cover story since then, at least not in up-tight places with private security . But I still have a lot of fun. I went on a road trip last summer, doing overnight camping, and meeting people who seemed to take my babyish appearance in stride. and I did things like go to an amusement park wearing quite obvious diapers and my shortalls, and having a blast on some pretty juvenile rides. MacDonald1s was always ready to serve me Happy Meals, and no one seemed to mind of I wore a bib while I ate. Best of all, the New York State Thruway had diaper changing tables that could comfortably accommodate me. I only did changes late at night when I could be sure that no kids, or for that matter, almost anyone would walk in on me, but it still was incredibly exciting to be sitting up on a changing table in a public restroom with a dirty diaper on. I powdered and wiped myself and changed into another, did up my crotch snaps, and zoomed off down the highway to the next changing table. I must have changed my diapers in every rest stop from Buffalo to Albany.

Since then I1ve worn my baby clothes and diapers in all kinds of places. I1ve gone to other amusement parks and even to Chuck E. Cheese's with friends. I1ve had my picture taken at Wal-Mart and Photo Express wearing OshKoshh shortalls with crotch-snaps, a "Baby Slugger" baseball cap, snap shoulder T-shirt, and extra thick diapers. I told the girls taking the pictures that my girlfriend had made me the outfit for a costume party and that I had promised her some baby pictures they were really sweet about it, and I had a blast.

Last spring I joined Mike Aguilar in a big adventure going to the Bay to Breakers race in San Francisco twelve miles wearing only diapers and a T-shirt, pushing a baby stroller I got to be pushed in the stroller too, but only for a little way. We definitely freaked people out. Some were amused. Others were horrified. Quite a few took no notice at all. I wore diapers and little boy clothes on the whole trip out to California and back. I wore my bib and used my bottle for the snacks on the plane, and changed my diapers whenever necessary using the changing table in the airplane lavatories. O1Hare has great changing tables too. They1re big enough for big babies like me, and they1re kind of private, but not entirely.

It1s all true. I know I1m crazy, but I can1t help thinking that I1m not the only one.