I was by this time beginning to accept her “right” to do to and with me as she wished. I was still embarrassed about all the ass attentions and the thought of being “offered” to others was just plain scary. On the other hand for the first time in what seemed like forever I didn’t feel like I had a monkey on my back as far as my future was concerned. Before this when I looked into my future I only could see endless misery and failure as I either did grunt work or did without. Without hope there is no future.

As if reading my mind Gail said softly, “For right now Terry I need you to live totally in the present. Come here and let me bring you into focus real quick.”

I got up and walked around the table to her figuring she was going to scorch my ass. She reached up and put a hand behind my neck pulling me down to her kiss. Her other hand reached between my legs and then cupped my balls. When our lips parted she smiled, “You thought I was going to spank you didn’t you?”

I grinned back. “Yes Ma’am. That was a lot nicer!”

She scooted her chair back. “Sorry sugar but you were right. I just wanted to kiss you first.” She pulled me over her lap and then from somewhere she produced a stainless steel telescoping wand like thing that she extended and used on my ass.

It felt like there were bees stinging my ass and I almost immediately began to wail. “Oh God Gail I’ll be good… PLEASE I promise I’ll be good!!” I kicked my feet and she stopped.

“Terry, if you don’t sit still I am going to take you to the bedroom and just naturally tear your ass up! You can cry. You can even scream a little and beg but you WILL be still! I am not going to wrestle with you. Now lay still and let me finish.”

I laid still after that and even tried to sull up and refuse to even make any sound but she seamed to sense my small resistance and found the crease where my thighs meet my ass and soon had me in tears and sobbing.

When she stopped, she held me down across her lap and explained, “Terry sweetheart, I am too weak to hold you still. When you are squirming, I am afraid that I will harm you by hitting you somewhere other then your well-padded sweet cheeks. Also, when I spank you, I want you to accept both IT and the feelings it forces on you. From now on, you will cry every time because it will continue until you do.”

She bounced her legs and helped me up. I was still wet face and sniffing. “I’m sorry, I didn’t think about you trying to hold me. You could hurt yourself. Maybe it would be better if you didn’t do me over your lap.”

“Sorry Sugar, you are just going to have to be good. I love having you on my lap and will continue to do it that way pretty often. You are my Baby Dear One and I want the personal contact.” She gently stroked my tender ass. “I want you here so that you can feel more than just the sting of the spankings. You need to feel the love that I give with it as well. Now let’s go give you some enemas.”

She took me to her bathroom and on the floor on a pallet of towels on my knees with my head on a rolled up towel. I watched as she filled up a just naturally HUGE bag with water that was so soapy that it looked like milk. “How big IS that bag Gail?” I finally had to ask.

“It’s 5 quarts. They call it an Olympic bag.” She told me smiling. “Don’t worry if you don’t manage it all I won’t spank you as long as you try hard for me.”

“Why do you want to give me such big ones? Doesn’t a regular one do a good enough job?”

“It isn’t that I couldn’t get you clean with smaller enemas. It is that I need you to have to work harder for me than those little ones will make you. I need for you to struggle and give up your control to me. I want you to just accept what I offer you so latter you can accept other things. Why did your Dad’s words hurt you so much? Why did it matter if he yelled at you? It mattered because you couldn’t just accept that there are times in life that you get the shitty end of the stick and move on. Why didn’t you stand up to him and demand that he treat you like a man Terry? Why did you LET him browbeat you in front of other people?”

“That’s not fair! He wouldn’t listen! He would have just kept yelling at me! If I had kept yelling back at him he would have just sent me home!”

“He wouldn’t have fired you?” She asked. She then, after hanging the bag over me, put on a glove and stuck a finger rudely into my ass. “Well, would he have fired you?” She asked as she massaged my ass.

“I don’t know… probably not… he IS my Dad.”

“There you go, you don’t think he would have fired you if you had refused to allow him to mistreat you but you still didn’t stand up for yourself.” She pulled her finger out and pushed the nozzle in. It was big and it hurt a little passing through.

I didn’t know what to say. She was right. Finally, I felt the depression settling back into its familiar place. “Ok, you’re right; I’m just a nutless wimp and deserve to be treated like shit.” I felt tears stinging in my eyes. “I just don’t have the balls to stand up for myself!” I got quiet and tried not to cry and further humiliate myself.

Gail stroked the nozzle in and out of me several times before letting it settle into place. She reached up on the counter and picked up her hair brush and started to spank me. That was all it took and I cried like a baby until I was breathless. She finally stopped and opened the clamp letting the flood into my bowels. She didn’t say anything for a long time and I just sobbed in misery until the enema demanded that I pay attention to it.

I cramps and struggled until finally I begged, “Gail, could you stop it for a minute! Please!”

“Certainly Baby. All you have to do is ask.” She stroked my still hot ass and played with my balls. Finally she opened it again and then asked, “Do you know why you didn’t stand up for yourself Sugar?”

“Because I’m a fucking nutless wonder!” I snapped.

She swatted my ass several times sending me back into tears. “No, that is NOT,” She popped my ass again. “why you didn’t! You didn’t because they hadn’t let you grow up and even though you were man sized in body, you were still a little boy inside and little boys don’t yell at their Daddies. Your parents did a good job and made you a sweet, obedient and very loving little boy but then they held you there. Your Mom especially held you back. How were you supposed to be a man as long as your Mommy is spanking your little bare hiney and giving you enemas? You Dad should have manned up and made her stop doing that but at some level he liked you like that too. Did you have an older brother?”

“Yes mam, Roger, he’s 4 years older than me. He is a truck driver. He owns his on truck and Dad is real proud of him.”

“I bet your brother and him fight like cats and dogs.”

“They don’t talk much. You are right they did fight a lot. Roger joined the Marine Corp as soon as he got out of High School and left.”

“You on the other hand tried to please him and it make him love you even though he treated you like shit.”

“He didn’t really treat me like shit. He just didn’t treat me like I was a man. I was still the dumb ass little boy to him.”

She petted me and her hands stroked up and down my back for a little while. “The thing is Dear that when he wasn’t yelling at you, you still liked being his little boy. Sadly this is considered normal for girls but leads to problems for boys. Dads have a hard job with their boys. They love them to pieces when they are little and then have to pull back and make men out of them later. It is cruel, it is painful for all concerned and it is very seldom perfectly successful. Your brother wanted your Dad’s love as much as you did but because he was older he was pushed away harder than you. He was hurt just in different ways than you. The problem is that we have a basically 18th century culture trying to work in the 21st century and it doesn’t fit worth a shit.”

The enema was getting so that I was having troubles concentrating on much other then not losing control and doing something awful. I looked and to my horror saw that the bag was still plump and full looking. “Oh Jesus Gail I don’t think I can hold all of that!”

She laughed, “No, I don’t think that you will. Just take as much as you can and we will run the rest in with your next enema. For a while all of your enemas are going to come from this bag. Along with the fact that it makes your ass clench in a seriously cute fashion, it is a life lesson as well. You are going to learn to do all you can and then accept the consequences when you fail. You’re lucky, this time you aren’t going to even get a spanking for not taking it all.”

I thought about this and asked, “does that mean that later you are going to do it if I don’t take it all?”

“Most absurdly I am Baby Boy. That is life; you do the best you can and accept that sometimes it isn’t going to be good enough. Besides I like to spank you. Your li’l butt is just soooo adorable when it is red and wiggling!”

I think I almost managed a full gallon before I started having endless cramps. She let me fight it until I told her that she needed to not be ANYWHERE behind me just in case. This seemed to tickle her and she finally let me go to the commode. She made me sit there with the nozzle in me and reopened the clamp. I had to hold it and take some more there. Suddenly I had a terrible cramp and the nozzle exploded from my ass into the toilet and I erupted.

Laughing Gail shouted, “Thar she blows!” I was embarrassed and just looked down and let it out for what seemed like forever.