Gnarliest place you've masturbated?

Hi all. What's the gnarliest, nastiest, dirtiest, least hygienic, scariest, grossest, or weirdest place you've masturbated?

For me, it was an outhouse in the middle of the Cascade mountains in WA state. I was on a backpacking/camping trip with friends, and finding privacy was impossible. One day it was too much; I had to just blow my wad as quickly as possible. So while others were setting up dinner, I snuck up to an outhouse we'd found a few hours earlier and jerked one out as fast as I could. It was pretty gnarly inside, and I used an entire travel-size bottle of Purel afterwards. But when I made it back to the campsite, I was feeling like $1M!