Psychotherapy transference and countertransferrence

The famous infatuation that Tony Soprano had with his psychotherapist was apparently very, very common. https://youtu.be/qbS2N88paTs

As this nice person explains https://youtu.be/lx9tlkvmrSw, because someone entering therapy *finally* gets to open up to someone who'll not judge them about their intimate thoughts, it's common and even expected that the patient will eroticize the relationship.Basically what happens is that we tell the person stuff we'd never tell anyone but our closest lover. So, mentally we slot the therapist into that category.

Of course, it's in the artificial greenhouse of the therapeutic relationship so the object is to normalize those thoughts and once they're aired out, get the patient to find a more appropriate person to share those intimacies with.Naturally what can happen is that therapists can fall prey to this as well but of course, cannot even hint to it because that would be entirely inappropriate. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HSSckHWzSxQ&feature=youtu.be&ab_channel=Has anyone experienced eroticized thoughts in a therapeutic relationship?

What were your fantasies?

Here is another long-form video discussing the matter: https://youtu.be/vRxyPnnGfqwI've never been in psychotherapy (I probably could use it!) but it's been providing a lot of fuel for fantasy recently. How about all of you nice people?

So, no disrespect, but are any of us members - wise-guys or not - in psychotherapy? Ever discuss anything related to medical fantasies?

Well, psychotherapy is a type of medical treatment.

I confess that I've had psychotherapy. It was with a woman who was very bright and empathetic. I was in awe of her intellect. Supposedly one must have a therapist who is brighter than oneself. I didn't confide any sexual thoughts to her. Perhaps that's because I'm pretty in touch with my sexual feelings and not hung up about them. The whole experience was costly, time consuming and in the end not terribly helpful. There wasn't one thing erotic about it. I'd have done better to spend the money on s surf trip or two.

Transference and counter transference are not only the realm of the psychotherapist. Most bodywork therapists are familiar.

Well, psychotherapy is a type of medical treatment.

. . . . not a very effective one.

If it really worked, the clinical session should be the patient talking about 3/4 of the time and the doctor (I use that term loosely, even for psychiatrists) to spend 1/4 of the time telling you what to do. If they don't specifically tell you how to feel and what to do, they are just a buddy you're paying to spill your guts to. If they drag things on until you to come to your own conclusions about what to do, they just want your money.

After a MAXIMUM of TEN (10) hours, you should be done.

If not, the treatment failed.

Oh Susie, I guess you're not a FOF are you? Friend of Freud.

^^^^ He and his ilk are the biggest frauds of the 19th and 20th centuries.

Psychotherapy was comforting to me at the time. Did it produce profound changes? No. I have had near relatives who have had profound insights. I do think the personality development as described by Freud and Jung are pretty fascinating. I was helped by seeing a biopsychiatrist who prescribed antidepressants for me. The effect was pretty impressive. Before I was started on them I was so apathetic that all I could do was to stay in bed. Even big surf couldn't entice me. I think a global dismissal of psychiatry is pretty narrow minded.

From the standpoint of a psychologist, which I am not, the primary purpose of the therapy is to help "lead" you in the direction of helping yourself. Yes, a directive psychologist would probably interject more into the sessions while a non-directive psychologist would simply guide and lead you by supporting certain things you say. Dr. Carl Rogers was probably the most noted of the non-directive school. The directive side, probably Beck, Ellis and Jung. There are obviously more. Oh, what about psychoanalysis - the psychiatrists great contribution. First of all, psychiatrists are not trained in the behavioral sciences any where near what a PhD is - from a top school of psychology. Are psychiatrists bad? No they have a real role in those cases that need drug intervention and in institutions. Interesting side note, Carl Rogers was trained in psychoanalysis before he developed the non-directive approach. Social Workers who perform psychotherapy? Again, not trained in the specifics. Unfortunately, the field has suffered from a majority of poorly trained people in all aspects of counseling. Enough said.

The only PhD psychologist I have ever known who wasn't full of crap is an industrial psychologist. He is a no bullshit kind of guy and I say he is the only shrink I know who isn't full of crap because in a conversation we had some time ago, he told me most psychology is bullshit.

Most shrinks I know are wackier and need more help than their patient/clients.

Susie you're certainly in a laissez-faire mood today aren't you? I am sympathetic to the notion that psychiatrists know nothing and do nothing. However a good one is worth his weight in gold. My cousin is a neuro psychologist and his knowledge of the brain surpasses that of a neurologist.

someone entering therapy *finally* gets to open up to someone who'll not judge them about their intimate thoughts

I have a really hard time resonating with the belief of not being judged for what I think...I might be wrong, I don't know...but I think it's in human nature to question other people's thoughts or actions...Ultimately those mental health professionals are humans too and have their own life experiences. A professional of course shouldn't ever give you any hint about that, but I'm pretty sure outside of their practice some of them might be quite judgemental. My best friend is a psychologist and I remember she told me once she needs to do some sort of therapy sessions herself...I would never be able to fully disclose to anyone the deepest, most intimate thoughts. Who knows what will happen if those thoughts are out? I know there is patient doctor confidentiality but in the end you never know...Pshychotherapy hasn't worked for me and maybe the reason why is the lack of trust. First time I ever saw a professional I couldn't say a sentence...To see some staring eyes looking back at me and waiting for some answers I just did not have...no way I would talk about anything. What helped were some anti anxiety medications but I never wanted to go back to that person again...Last time I've tried it was better, somewhat helpful. I'm sure that if you find the right professional it can help a lot. But it's hard...and human mind may never be fully understood.

I wonder if it wouldn't be just as effective - and far cheaper - to open up on sites like zity and share your innermost thoughts and past experiences. I have to say that sometimes I'm very impressed at the openness of members here, at the kinds of stories they relate ... I just cannot see myself or many other people for that matter, being so open in someone else's presence, therapist or not...

someone entering therapy *finally* gets to open up to someone who'll not judge them about their intimate thoughts

[color=#000000][b]I have a really hard time resonating with the belief of not being judged for what I think...I might be wrong, I don't know...but I think it's in human nature to question other people's thoughts or actions...Ultimately those mental health professionals are humans too and have their own life experiences. A professional of course shouldn't ever give you any hint about that, but I'm pretty sure outside of their practice some of them might be quite judgemental. My best friend is a psychologist and I remember she told me once she needs to do some sort of therapy sessions herself...[/b][/color]

I would never be able to fully disclose to anyone the deepest, most intimate thoughts. Who knows what will happen if those thoughts are out? I know there is patient doctor confidentiality but in the end you never know...

Pshychotherapy hasn't worked for me and maybe the reason why is the lack of trust. First time I ever saw a professional I couldn't say a sentence...To see some staring eyes looking back at me and waiting for some answers I just did not have...no way I would talk about anything. What helped were some anti anxiety medications but I never wanted to go back to that person again...

Last time I've tried it was better, somewhat helpful. I'm sure that if you find the right professional it can help a lot. But it's hard...and human mind may never be fully understood.

Your assumptions are absolutely correct. You are judged behind your back, discussed behind your back (probably without giving your name) and many shrinks went into the field to figure themselves out because, as you said, they need work themselves.

THERE IS NO CONFIDENTIALITY.

DOCTOR / PATIENT CONFIDENTIALITY IS AS OBSOLETE AS THE 20TH CENTURY. EVERYTHING IS ON THE RECORD AND AVAILABLE TO SEE.

Your insurance company will know what you discussed because the shrinks have to make periodic reports of your progress and they are mandated to report you to the authorities if they even THINK you might do harm to yourself or others.--THOUGHT CRIMES.

Tell a shrink you might commit suicide and there is a great likelihood you'll end up committed to a mental hospital instead of your doing whatever you decide to do with your life. Tell them that in anger you sometimes feel like killing your wife and you'll get arrested even if you never lifted a finger to her, the list of examples goes on and on. Even telling a fantasy can be dangerous to your freedom and existence.

The physicians I used to call on (FP's, I.M.'s, Surg.'s, etc.) ALL said that those who went into psychiatry were invariably the "Squirrels" of their medical student class.

My experience with shrinks verifies that.

I wonder if it wouldn't be just as effective - and far cheaper - to open up on sites like zity and share your innermost thoughts and past experiences.

I think one can open up here...but to a certain degree. I was very surprised to see how much people are able to let out. While reading something online about a certain topic I landed on a website where people would express their thoughts to such an extent that made me feel really uncomfortable. There were so many young adults talking about suicide, about eating disorders, anything you can think of...on these online communities. And lots of them were saying their families/friends don't know anything about their issues. I tend to believe that lots of people do use online resources as some sort of therapy. Some because of curiosity, some because they need to talk to someone, some because they feel misunderstood and look for people that share same ideas...there are countless reasons why.

I agree with switchable susie! When someone tells me they are a psychologist or psychotherapist, my immediate response is, "And how does that make you feel?" ROFL!

I would NEVER open up my innermost thoughts to them: everything gets reported under "Obama-lack-of-care"!

Oh my such hostility this topic has evoked! While it's remotely possible that insurance companies could obtain medical records from a shrink, most records are hand written and thus difficult to interpret. Also insurance tends not to pay for psychiatric care and self pay is the rule.

As for the Affordable Care act I can only say the following. Before it we were one of the few western countries which lacked one payer universal coverage. Many unfortunate folks had no choice but to go without care or seek suboptimal care at public or charity facilities. I work at such a facility. We try our best to give good care to all but time delays and the lack of the best prescription meds detract from the experience. As the "most advanced " society we should do better. I truly believe we are our brothers keeper. If that means we have to pay more taxes then so be it. Better we should pay for medical care and education than military excesses. How can we hope to advance as a society if we don't?

Finally about lack of patient confidentiality, I would say this. Yes it's true that patients are talked about outside the office. I have been privy to such talk especially since I'm a physician myself. I can say in my experience names were never used. The shrinks I've known would consider such a breach anathema.

Would sites such as this provide an alternative? Well confession does help some. The missing factor though is the gentle guidance which is provided by the best shrink. There is a goal in mind and as a psychiatrist friend told me--the goal is to ease the pain.

Yes psychiatric care is flawed. Why then are there so many of them and why do their patients swear by them? They must do something right. I truly believe that good talk therapy combined with appropriate meds if needed provide comfort and hope to those who seek such care. Who are we to criticize?

I truly believe that good talk therapy combined with appropriate meds if needed provide comfort and hope to those who seek such care. Who are we to criticize?

You are right, liquidsky! Provided that there is good talk therapy and good therapists. Many people do not seek care because of these fears of things getting completely out of control due to how their words will be interpreted. One thing is to think about something, and another thing is to ever act on it.

Worst fear ever to be in a place such as in the movie "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest" when you're actually sane, or like "Girl Interrupted"...You're going in for some rest, and never know if/when you get out of there.

Just to keep things focused upon the erotic, this was the paper that triggered these recent thoughts. http://www.tandfonline.com/doi/pdf/10.1080/15240657.2010.513222 : The Guilty Pleasure of Erotic Countertransference. In it, shrinks discuss the erotic zing some patients give them and how best to work through those feelings.