A Crazy But True EMS Call

I think one of the craziest ambulance calls I had during my 5 years as a paramedic involved an old man and a plastic lawn chair. Have you seen those lawn chairs that are plastic, all one piece, and designed to look like a "real" lawn chair, replete with holes and slats cut out of the plastic? Well, an 80s year-old man had one. He also had a stand-alone shower - the kind that doesn't have a tub. I guess he'd decided that he needed a chair in the shower because he decided to take said plastic lawn chair and put it in the shower.

Meanwhile, my (male) partner and I are sitting in our ambulance in a parking lot, bored out of our skulls. Our pagers go off, and we did a double take at the call - penis entrapment?! We couldn't believe it all the way to the residence. My partner strongly admonished me not to laugh, no matter what, before we entered the house.

We were met at the door by the wife, who directed us to the bathroom. We found the gentleman sitting in the chair, naked, and stuck. Apparently, he had gotten in the shower, got soaped up, and sat down... but couldn't get back up! The family jewels had slipped into one of the openings between "slats" in the chair and wouldn't come back out.

He wasn't in pain, or bleeding, but we would have to cut apart the chair to get him out. I looked at my partner, and told him this was his call! He wound up using 2 pair of trauma shears to cut through the chair to get it torn apart enough for the man to free himself. I busied myself getting the report filled out and information gathered. When asked who called, he was quick to say that his wife called, even though he didn't want her to. He kept cracking jokes about the entire situation - his sense of humor was wicked!

After he was freed, we asked if he wanted to go to the hospital to be checked out, just in case. Heck no! He signed our refusal of care release, and we were clear. It is my favorite funny story from my paramedic days!

That's the reason baby crib bars had to be 2 3/8 inches apart when we had our babies--so their head could not get stuck!

I wonder if real shower chairs for disabled people have specifications on how far apart the slats should be.

Demure,

Laughter IS the best medicine. Obviously this guy clearly understood it as well! 😁

One of my favorite ER stories has a similar plot line. When I was a resident we got a patient who had been vacuuming one day. Foolishly he was thinking about sex as he vacuumed. He was admiring how well the vacuum could "suck" and decided it really needed him. The paramedics were totally unable to free him so he arrived with the vacuum in tow. We could do nothing so we had to call engineering. It took them two hours to think of an acceptable way of cutting off the metal pipe. They did though and he went home crestfallen.

As funny as this is I'm choosing to take it as a cautionary tale as well. I've been known to sit in many a chair while nude and will officially be paying close attention to anything with slats from this day on.

This reminded me of an incident last year with my 5 yr old nephew . We were in the swimming pool on holiday . The water wasn't exactly warm , but it wasn't so cold it was unbearable . When we got out he came under the shower with me . As my sister has 3 other kids we split up the younger ones so us adults had one each yo help get dried and dressed .

I was helping him out of his trunks . These were the sort that have the net style underpants in with small holes in . As he helped pull them down he yelled out loud . His penis must of caught in the net somehow as it went cold and the net had become trapped in his foreskin.

We had to cut the shorts off him leaving the net material attached as the weight of the wet shorts was pulling on his penis . He was then bundled into the car and taken to A & E . There a lovely male Dr said he would try to remove it with some numbing gel . If not a trip to theatre would be needed .

After a very loud scream from my nephew the material was removed . The Dr gave him a 3 day course of antibiotics and he was sent home . One hour later he was jumping around fine , like nothing had happened .

Lesson learnt though . My sister never buys her little boys those kind of swimming trunks anymore .

Folks, it is a full moon tomorrow night... Always makes for interesting shifts!

It does indeed Andie, a full moon really seems to affect people in some very strange ways, as i have observed over the years.

This is not about an EMS call, but I used to work with a Reserve Duty Police Officer. He told us of one night when he was called out to a shooting in a home. He and another officer went to the home and found the kids crying, the wife yelling at her husband and the husband sitting in a chair holding a revolver and staring at the tv, It seems that the husband went out and bought the revolver and started practicing his fast draw in hope that when Gunsmoke came on the following Saturday night, he was going to outdraw Matt Dillon in the opening sequence of the show. Whet he forgot to do when he got the gun out and got ready for the gunfight, she forgot to check the weapon for any shells. The Show came on and the husband made his fast draw, only to blow out the television picture tube with one shot for his revolver. The officers left the home relieved that the shooting only involved a television picture and not a real person. (One more thing, this actually happened on a night close to Halloween, so you can see why the police officers were so shook up when making the call.)

It was full moon on 7th march according to our Indian MAharashtrian calendar.

What happened on 7th march? MY road accident. I dont beleive in it all but my mother does.

~cookie