From time to time during the past few years, I've revisited a fond recollection of something that happened in a split second over 30 years ago.
It was the early 80's and i was either 16 or barely 17. I was working a closing shift in the grill area of a fast food joint. There was this 16 year old girl who worked the register (not closing shifts) who had a mom, Jackie, who also worked the register on closing shifts (don't recall them ever working at the same time). Occasionally Jackie would drive me home from work, as the buses had stopped running for the evening and I didn't yet have a car. Whether during rides home or during slow periods at work, we would talk,
I was going through a period where I was depressed that I didn't have a girlfriend & didn't think I had what it took to get one any time soon. Yet I was super horny. Whenever Jackie & I talked, most of the time this subject would come up. Jackie would always try to reassure me. I remember her often saying "Someday you're gonna meet a nice girl !" with a big smile on her face. And at the time I think I was like "yeah yeah yeah bullsh__"
This one evening when we were both working & there weren't any customers Jackie walked back to the grill area where I was working alone. We might have been the only 2 working on the floor, with the manager in the back. We started talking, and this subject probably came up again. All of a sudden, she reached out and grabbed and gave a good squeeze to my junk over my pants. I was taken by total surprise, with a shocked look and smile on my face. I wasn't upset, because we always had a positive vibe with each other, & though not her daughter, but there were a few black girls I was really starting to become attracted to at the time. I'm not sure if eventually I told my older co-worker about this, but while talking to him about her one time, he told me something to the effect of "I think she likes to have fun", whatever that meant.
When I think about this incident now, I wish she would have used that aggression to initiate sex with me, Something about the way she smiled at me after she did what she did, it has often made me wonder if she was driven to do that, knowing I hadn't yet lost my virginity, To have that privilege to reach out & grope a horny white virgin. I wish it led to something more, even if only more groping incidents..