ER visit

A member candidly shared an experience he had with a vibrating dildo that went too deeply up his bum and couldn't be retreived .

I can just imagine the awkward moment as he checked into the ER.

I'm curious . what would YOU say to the check-in nurse to explain this situation ?

I would try to hide my embarrasement and try to act matter of factly.

Years later this is deliriously funny but at the time it must have been quite mortifying.

"ah...no, I don't hear any buzzing sound."

That's a good question ... I don't what I would do....

In large metropolitan cities it happens frequently. I have heard every story imaginable from abdominal pain, then telling the story to the nurse or doctor, to blurting it right out to I have no idea how it got there. Sometimes it's easiky removed, some times a trip to the OR to use general anesthesia, to having an exploratory surgery to remove it. We used to tell little kids ... Nothing smaller than your elbow in your ear or nose. What should we tell the "big kids"?

Yes it would be embarrassing. However, if you can't beat it on your own, might as well have some fun with it.

"I lost my vibrator and found it hidden in my ass." Or

I swallowed my vibrator to see how it would feel. It has made it most of the way through my system, but I think the batteries must have died and it won't go any further."

Good evening nurse.

I suppose you've heard of Bigfoot. Well I was sleeping with the window open and guess what ?

I had a fight with the tooth fairy for not giving me enough money for my teeth when I caught her leaving poor change for my child loosing their first tooth last night. That fairy must have had the sandman load me up with his magic sleep sand and then later beat me up really good inside, leaving this as a reminder to not argue with any tooth fairy again.

LOL!

After telling the tale and watching the reaction to it, I would then be honest.

Hopefully they laugh with you. As it is said, "laughter is the best medicine"!

See those markings? 2xD cell is alien. I was abducted and when I woke up.....

Oops!

I think I would have to be honest about it.

I too have heard stories - we were play wrestling and i fell on it, etc

There's a pretty funny book which I think should probably sponsor this site - http://www.amazon.com/Stuck-Up-Inserted-Ingested-Shouldnt/dp/0312680082

But anyway, I think anything other than being honest would only make the embarrassment worse for me, nurses and DRs aren't so naive these days.

I can imagine walking into the emergency shaking my head and saying " I'll never drink and dildo again. "

I think it would be even more embarrassing to have people in the waiting area gaze at me with a quizzical look as they listened to the muffled buzzing sound coming from my ass as I walked by.

I wonder if the doctor would get upset if I asked him to be careful and not damage the dildo. I could explain that the dildo and I were just beginning to create a relationship and it would be a shame to ruin it.

I can imagine walking into the emergency shaking my head and saying " I'll never drink and dildo again. "

I think it would be even more embarrassing to have people in the waiting area gaze at me with a quizzical look as they listened to the muffled buzzing sound coming from my ass as I walked by.

I wonder if the doctor would get upset if I asked him to be careful and not damage the dildo. I could explain that we were just beginning to create a relationship and it would be a shame to ruin it.

Don't forget the bow-legged perp walk to the exam rooms.

Haha. I think I might have to just live with a dido inside of me !

Reckon we could work something out ...right Doc.

After reading delmars post about how frequently this type of thing happens I'll be on the lookout for guys walking into the emergency clinic at night wearing a ridiculously obvious wig, sunglasses and walking funny.

Imagine a guy at the counter with his wife. He looks really put off and she says something about it wasnt her fault ..the new lube was too slick. Or you hear her whispering...." Honey I,m sorry I guess I just got carried away."

Imagine a college dude on his cellphone saying.."heck no mom I can't just fart it out !!! If I could do you think I'd be here ?!! ."

I have to wonder if the dildo is positioned on a guys prostate ..is he going to look abnormally blissful as he tells the nurse why he is there ?

I heard tell of a dog that ate a corn dog and passed the stick whole.

I also heard tell of a sweet girl that lost her ben wah ball in there. She did not go to a clinic, but did call for help form people that knew her butt better than she did. Talk about parteee!

Then there was the country boy wanting to play foot ball. The coach tossed him the ball and asked him if he could pass it. He looked at the coach miserably and said, "Sure Coach, if I can eat it??"

My general rule of thumb is to be able to always to get two fingers on the object inside my ass to be able to pull it out. The toy should never be out of reach.

In the back of my mind, I do have that horrible fear of having to go to the ER for something I did while playing.

That fear makes me use common sense before doing something stupid.

I never lost a toy up there; however, I ended up in the emergency room the next morning after having put an eyedropper full of 3% hydrogen peroxide in my anus/rectum. Within a few minutes I was passing small amounts of blood from my anus. At that time our family doctor was a good friend and neighbor. I did not want to tell him about this so I went to the ER. This happened about 30 years ago. At the ER the doctor there called a gastro doctor to explain the situation. He said that the bleeding would stop in a couple of days, and it did. They did nothing, and I just went home. Our doctor made passing mention of the situation, but, nothing else was ever said.

Today all of my doctors know that I use enemas very close to daily now because of chronic diarrhea.

Lzrd, I know how your country boy felt. There have been a few times when I was really backed up and things finally started to move, and my anus felt like it was stretched twice is usual size, I've come out of the bathroom sweating and declared "I think I just passed a football, and I knew exactly which way the laces were facing."

I hope to get some response from liquidski on this. I think that an ounce or two of mineral oil orally followed a hour later by a bottle mag citrate would resolve many of these problems. The danger is if the object gets wedged crosswise at a narrow spot in the bowel.

I never have "lost" an object or toy in me thus far.RULE: don't put in what you can't pull out!I like long and large toys for a sure grip to help in removing after play time.R.

I think it is best to use common sense and as others have stated you should never loose sight of an object that goes inside your butt. Once something passes your anus, it seems that there is a natural muscular response to close the sphincter muscle and to push the object further up your ass. If you are not able to "shit it out" then it is going to stay up there and you are officially in trouble.

So be careful folks but still have fun.

Stephen I don't think that the mineral oil cocktail will help. Cylindrical bodies such as vibrators turn in the sigmoid and become wedged against the sacrum. Only the combined technique of pushing against the tip through the abdominal wall and snagging the bottom with three fingers allows the suction to be broken.

^^^^ Definitely true.

Sometimes people mention that in trying to push a toy in they "hit a wall." The sacrum of base of the spinal column is "the wall". Once they learn to redirect the toy anteriorly, they can advance it farther.

The same thing happens if you insert a rigid toy and lose your grip of it and when you try to remove it and can't, the toy is stuck on the "other side of the wall" and you need to press on the abdomen to get it past the sacrum on its way down. Bearing down really hard while pressing on the abdomen also helps.

I, Personally, always lived by the rules: 1.)Do not stick things up you ass that does not have a good flange or a handle on the end that can be held on to very well.

2.)When you go to the Emergency Room. Tell the medical staff the truth. We are all smart enough to know that you did not really slip in the shower and fall directly onto that long necked bottle of after shave lotion.

3.) When you have a long vibrator that contains 4 AA batteries in your rectum, and the doc asks what happened to get it stuck there, he is asking a serious question and your answer of "I don't know, it wasn't there last night when I went to bed" is an answer that NOBODY will believe. Once again, be honest. Go out and actually buy a good butt plug for your anal play. Lots of people do it including the staff that are hysterically laughing because you actually believe that they accept that explanation. Buying butt plugs or a big dildo for playing with in your bottom is a lot less embarrassing than your trip to the emergency room.

4.) Do not put living creatures in the urethra to see if they will make it to you bladder for the sake of "wanting to see how it feels when they move around", is just wrong on a lot of levels, and is kind of icky. Just saying, stick to the sounds, it is a little saferl.

Join groups of people that share your kinks....they are abundant and you may actually get over your fear of openly admitting that you have kinks, and have fun! Remember, there is always someone that is much kinkier than you are. Rant is now over..

Equeen said it all. Tell the truth! We know it anyway and you'll just get laughed at later in the back room. I'm totally sympathetic to those who have had accidents of any kind. I hope you play safely and I won't see you at the mill!

EQueen, great advise. You are only helping yourself with honesty and you cannot be charged for harm that comes to us in the lounge when we start laughing about things we have treated. Laughing until I pass out is considered poor play but it happens.

Wait, what? "...living creatures in the urethra..." I take it you have some 1st or 2nd hand experience with this?

Unfortunately, I have seen a couple of cases. One man, (he was an Asian) had sounded for years and apparently enjoyed putting things in to his bladder via his stretched open urethra. He came in because his bladder neck muscles had cramped up and closed off his ability to urinate and when he had some muscle relaxer given to him, he finally drained some sort of very small eel (3) with about 700 cc of water that he had self injected.

Had another come in with some very small fish that he inserted into his bladder with a catheter syringe.

I think the one person I felt the worst about was an older teenager came to Emergency Dept. With a "foreign body" stuck in his urethra. He ended up telling the e.d. doc that he liked to take the straight phone cord that connected the back of the phone to the wall and would double it over on itself and lube it all up and insert the doubled cord into his urethra so he could masturbate with it in there. The reason he came in to us was that he had done this the night before when his parents were out, and was not able to remove the phone cord after he orgasmed without a lot of pain. He came in to us at noon the next day after he finally had to tell his parents because he was still having pain and unable to get it out. He sold us that he had been doing this activity for several years and never had this problem. A simple XRay revealed that the very small wires at the redoubled over bend had finally broken through the plastic casing that surrounded the wires of the phone cord and become imbedded inside of the urethra. That is why it hurt to try to remove the cord. Needless to say, he had a trip to the OR with a nice Urologist.

Please remember boys and girls to play safe! Buy yourself a good set of sounds and adhere to sterile procedure. Don't share your sounds and have them professionally sterilized. Alcohol does not sterilize!

No foreign critters should be involved (PETA would be outraged) and don't use anything that can become imbedded, no pens, pencils or knitting needles!

EQueen,

I am sure that teenager was careful after that, at least I sure hope so!

As for the idiot and fish, that poor fish!!!

What people do never cease to amaze me. Just when I think I have heard it all, I hear something new!

Andie