Stretching vagina,anal muscles

The feeling you get when you first put something inside your vagina or anus. Do you stop for a few second or minutes to let your muscles stretch and get used to whatever you're putting inside or do you just continue all the way in? Did it hurt or is it just a big turn on till the muscles are relaxed enough for you to enjoy it. What is the very first felling you got? I had a ex gf when I begain to try to put in a dildo she would hallways scream and she would try close her an as muscle when I tried putting a dildo with lubrication in her anus after I would not move it for a few minute she was fine a few times I had to pull it out and start over.

She probably just couldn't relax enough. Your ex gf would have been well advised to do an exercise called the "reverse kegel" for a few minutes per day, and also to do the reverse kegel while you inserted the dildo. The trick to opening up for penetration, vaginally or anally, is to push out at the same time as the dildo/ penis/ etc. is pushed in. This pushing out action is a reverse kegel. She also could have made things easier by spending more time warming up first with just a finger, working her way up with toys of smaller diameters before trying to insert the toy you were both using.

Depending on how tense she was and the diameter she was trying to take, it could take several minutes, days, or weeks of training with smaller diameters and reverse kegels in order to get her muscles flexible enough. In moderation, this training does not make one looser- you close right back up afterwards- it only results in more flexibility and the ability to relax enough stretch more easily. Elsewhere on the forum you will find the analogy that one must train one's muscles in certain ways to gain flexibility before attempting a split, and this works the same way.

Here are two short but very useful articles with info on reverse kegels:

1- http://www.pelvichealthsolutions.ca/for-the-patient/pelvic-floor-muscle-tightness/reverse-kegels1/

2- http://femfusionfitness.com/the-reverse-kegel-for-relaxation/

I hope we can talk about this real soon thanks!

Sounds like too much too fast. Her being tense could well have contributed. If the insertion was your idea and she was just going along, it probably was tension. If it was her idea, she could have taken the dildo and proceeded at her own pace. Lube can only do so much, it doesn't relax muscles.

The feeling you get when you first put something inside your vagina or anus. Do you stop for a few second or minutes to let your muscles stretch and get used to whatever you're putting inside or do you just continue all the way in?

If you push something in either place and the muscles are not relaxed it hurts. It is NOT a turn on. You have to progress as the muscles relax and allow penetration.

You should take a dildo and just shove it up your own ass to see.

YOU SHOULD TRY ALL THESE THINGS ON YOURSELF FIRST.

What is the very first felling you got? I had a ex gf when I begain to try to put in a dildo she would hallways scream and she would try close her an as muscle when I tried putting a dildo with lubrication in her anus after I would not move it for a few minute she was fine a few times I had to pull it out and start over.

The first feeling you get will be pressure and you need to let the muscles relax to permit penetration.

For someone into anal sex and "everything to do with ass play" you sound like you have no experience. You should know what these things feel like on yourself and do all these things on yourself before you try it on someone else.

Your ex's reaction was normal. I love anal penetration, but if you just stuck a dildo or something up my ass before the muscles relaxed, you'd get a black eye and never have the opportunity to try again.

By all means take it as slow as possible and treat the activity as food critic or wine taster. You don't want to just plow ahead with a "getter done" attitude. Take a rose smelling attitude. Note what is worrisome and talk it over. Then take the tiny bump like honey bee landing that only fluffs the surfaces of its flower, and really not work anything. Then if it is a mutual experience receive the same and see what they give as to be saying, "I want this.". If a little penetration is achieved, then stop and soak in the new. Only when you have fully enjoyed each step, should you push on in, so that the new experience is incremental not torrential. As they say, stretching is best done with relaxation. I like what was said about envisioning an elevator ride where you control the doors and lift/drop to go along with pelvic floor exercise. For lovers, the longer it takes, the more you enjoy each other, keeping up with what is and what isn't and then bring appetite up a scoshe.

Thanks for those links H C