New mistress.... Please help!

I have been with my partner around 6 months and it's safe to say we have a very loving relationship so far... However Up until a few weeks ago our love life was some what lacking. My partner has recently expressed an interest in being submissive and me becoming his mistress. We've tried a few things like him wearing my underwear and I must admit it turned me on! However I have never been into this before and I like to be good at what I do! If anyone out there could give me some tips and tell me what male submissive want that would be great! I don't think he's majorly into anal and definitely not enemas but anything else would be great!

Is cross dressing his only interest in having you be his mistress/dominatrix?

There are many things you could do as his mistress.

He has also expressed an interest in coming inside me and then licking it up... Other than that I'm pretty in the dark... What things would you suggest?

A well rounded mistress will do bondage and some S&M, neither of which has to be brutal if you're not into severe pain. It can be sensual B& D and S&M,

How can you make it sensual? He wants me to dominate him but it seems by only making him wear my underwear.

Might be a market for mistress training here 😃 think it's community classes actually. Fun post, I wish the best of luck in finding your mutual Dom/sub interests !

As a good starter you could control his orgasms.

Tie him to the bed and tease him mercilessly. Take him to the edge of cumming but at the last minute hold back. Once he's cooled down a bit take him back up to the edge. Repeat as many times as you dare. He'll be begging you to let him cum.

This is where the fun really begins. You can bargain with him. You'll get pretty much anything you want from him he'll be so desperate to cum. If you are feeling really mean then now is a great opportunity to bring up the subject of chastity. Ask him to give up his freedom of orgasm to you.

Take him out shopping to a department store. You go into the dressing room to try on a skirt. When you come out to model it for him, hand him your warm panties and tell him to go into the dressing room and put them on. Ask him to bring back his original underwear. While he is in there pick out a shirt and a bra for him to try on. Hand them to him and tell him to put them on and come model for you. After a few try-ons, settle on a bra for him to take up to the counter and buy. You get to leave without panties while he gets to leave wearing yours. Next stop is a restaurant where he goes to the bathroom to put his new bra on. He will wear it for the rest of the day. Also, while walking outside, he should throw away his original underwear in a public trash can.

Also, be on the lookout for a pearl thong to get for him. It will give his cock and balls no support, and will ride up his ass crack nicely, a constant reminder that he has a girly thong on.

My mistress loves to give me beer and water mix enemas and make me hold them until she gives me permission to release. I get a hard spanking if I fail or leak.

There are so many things to try but from experience take your time and allow things to evolve in a way you are comfortable sharing in your relationship. You want it to enhance not harm! Take him shopping for his own ladies underwear hold it up to him in the shop etc. Make him always hand wash your underwear. Allow him to pleasure you but not cum himself make that a treat not a regular event! It doesn't have to be all whips and bondage unless you want it to!

Its fun sometimes to play remotely via text messages. Simple things that fit in with lifestyle..text him tell him not to urinate again until you give permission..that if he gets desperate he must text and ask 'please mistress may I urinate now' don't always say yes straight away if he wants to be truly sub he will sit there sweating waiting for your permission. Have some form of 'punishment' lined up if he fails to comply either physical such as a spanking or something like make him stand at the end of bed in your underwear and watch you pleasure yourself but not join in in any way because he failed his task. If he complies and achieves permit him to perform on you orally - make penetration a special reward!

A really good place to start is an internet search for a submissive's checklist. Having him fill it out gives you a good idea of what turns him on and what doesn't. communication is always the key and those lists are always a good way to start some real communication

I would suggest you dress him up in ladies underwear put makeup and red lipstick on him and take him for a ride in your car. Be sure to stop for gas and pull up next to truck drivers.

I think he will do whatever you tell him to. If the idea of putting a strap on on and fucking him turns you on, tell him about it research it and start in slowly he wants you to be in control. He wants to please you too I would bet. Tease and denial is great way to make him submit. edge him over and over but no cum until you allow. Will blow his mind.

Experiment.

And talk with each other.

As you experiment, find out what he enjoys and what you enjoy.

This needs to be a mutually pleasurable thing or one of you isn't going to want to play.

There is a lot of literature out there to read that will give you an idea of many fun and dominant activities for your male submissive. When he wants you to do a particular activity with him, have him earn it. Tell him if he wants something in particular done, he will have to work for it or comply with you preparation for what he wants. Being the dominant in your sexual relationship can be a very erotic experience. For strap on sex, you can administer 2-3 enemas, starting with a soapy 2 quart followed by 2 salt water rinsed. After he has completely expelled his enemas, have him shower and return to your bed. Have him lay face down over pillows and you can restrain him or not. It is up to you and he is there to submit to you. You can work in a spanking (learn about erotic spanking) and make his bottom pink and warm. Talk to him and tell him that you want him to have a very warmed up and colorful bottom for you to look at while you fuck his ass. Slowly and gently begin lubing his anus and slowly stretching him open to take in your fingers. You should have begun working on this particular thing in advance of several weeks before you begin planning on using a larger dildo on him.For learning about anal activities, I would suggest reading Tristan Taormino's book "The Ultimate Guide To Anal Sex For Women", Second Edition. You will be able to learn a lot from this book. Begin training him to wear butt plugs when he is able to tolerate a couple of well lubricated fingers in his bottom. Learn to play with his prostate gland. Most men find this very erotic and wonderful to experience. This can be done whenever you want Just have him strip down, bend over a wait until you have him lubed and stretched out a bit. Don't ask him to do it. Tell him what you are going to do to him and make sure he follows through with your instructions. This is a power exchange and he is turning over the power to control and use him for both your pleasure and his but on your terms. He is giving you a lot of trust and you will need to learn what to do with this trust. This is a gift he is giving to you. Don't abuse it or make fun of him. Just learn to be a good and loving mistress for both of you. There are a lot of people in this kind of relationship and it can be very enjoyable. Do a lot of research. Join the BDSM group in your town/city. They have get together meetings called munched that usually meet in an eating establishment. You can usually find a mentor to help you and you can go to play parties and watch and learn. The only thing they will want from you is your discretion, but they can help you a lot. Again, research and learn, ask questions when you can and get a mentor "to show you the ropes".There are so many fun things to do that will bring you both closer and improve your relationship. Power exchange does that for people. It is not about pain, it is about sensation and his trust in you. Your activities should never cause serious pain. If it does, you are doing it wrong. This will be a great learning experience and a very special journey for you both. I envy you. For any questions, never hesitate to ask. Someone will help you. I can answer questions and so can Switchablesusie. She and her hubby have a power exchange relationship and she will have a lot of information if you need help. Enjoy this time together and eep us up to date on how you are doing. Most of all, 😄 have fun! 😄

Justcurious If your partner is interested in the crossdressing you mention then the first thing you have him do, as either a punishment for not fulfilling a task your gave him or a reward for pleasing you, is to shave his entire body from the eyebrows to the top of his toes. That will make the lingerie feel so much better for both of you while playing together. Keeping his toe nails polished is also something he will be well aware of 24/7 to make sure no one sees them.

I can only speak for myself and others that I know who have cross dressed. Once the clothes are on, there is a change in attitude, not always, but most of the time i take on a more submissive role. IT MUST INCLUDE SOME KIND OF LINGERIE to make it work. If he has the fetish (of sorts) there is no stopping it. He will gravitate towards it with or with out you, always. That said I think you have to ask yourself, if you enjoy the dom role. You might consider switching roles to see which role you prefer. He needs to understand your needs as well, and that might include him wearing men's clothes and wearing lingerie is a treat.

Making him wear your panties on play days or to work is an awesome feminine sensual way to make your feel, your smell, your naughty way with him all day. Tease him and spank him in your undies after that and you will own his ass girl...in more ways than one..

While he's in the living room watching TV, prepare a nice, warm, soapy, 2 to 3 quart enema, bring it into the bedroom and hang it next to your bed. Be sure to cover the bed with a plastic sheet and cover the plastic with lots of towels and a pillow. Next, take off all your clothes, except for your panties, and put on your harness with strap-on penis. Ask him to come into the bedroom and tell him you have a surprise for him! When he enters, don't say anything, but begin to remove all his clothes and have him lie face down on the bed next to the enema bag. Pat him on the butt and tell him your going to fuck him in the ass, but first your going to clean him out. If he whimpers and objects, look him in the eye and tell him if he wants to be treated like a girl, he must be willing to be fucked like a girl, but first he must be clean. By now, he should be anxious to have you give him the enema, and afterwards, open himself so you can have your way with him.

Submissiveness is usually a combination of pain and humiliation but the exact nature depends on individual fetish, so I can speak only for myself.

As is often the case, the medical procedure I feared most in my youth has developed into an adult fetish - painful injections in my vulnerable bare bottom, ideally while bending over the lap of a pretty receptionist. My perfect dominatrix would therefore be a "nurse" who consistently insisted on keeping all my booster shots up-to-date and making me bend over a girl's lap to get them would be the ultimate thrill.

Whilst my particular fetish may be unusual, asking your sub what he feared most in childhood could be the key to satisfying his craving.

It's too bad the OP was only here for ONE DAY 16 months ago.

She got some good advice!

First off talk with your sub to see what turns them on and what doesn't. Start out small or less and work your way up to increasing levels. Talk about it before, during, and after to get feed back on what each of you enjoyed, disliked, and possible improvements for the next time. Check out things online (videos, stories, fetish toy sites) and see if something looks interesting.

My sub will do and participate in whatever I tell him to do. My sub will put up with being given an enema then having his ass paddled while he is expected to hold it and then he gets to jack off. Giving him a figging just makes me hot, though it hurts like heck for him. I have threatened to give him a cooler than normal enema just because it will probably make his Miss hot, though it does nothing to stimulate him except to be forced to take it.

*Note: My sub likes enemas, latex/rubber, gags, having his ass fucked by me, and being made to do something (whether he likes it or not).

May these suggestions help someone else with a similar issue.