Boyfriend wants to see me humiliated by my having to undress and go through a medical exam in front

My boyfriend has an obsession over my being humiliated in front of other men.

He's into Embarrassed Nude Female, Humiliated Nude Female, and forced nudity.

Those are his fetishes, to name a few.

A couple of times we have switched partners for a swing session with two other couples. Totally hot and I'm into it.

What he doesn't share with the other couples are his secret thoughts over how he is turned on, and goes beyond the mere enjoyment of the sex, and in his mind enjoys my being humiliated (which I'm not in this situation), and his being humiliated over his precious girl being f***ed by another guy (which he is fixated on in his thoughts).

So he's got a fantasy that he wants to play out which would actually humiliate me, and through me, humiliate him: Where I am given a full examination from A to Z, by a young male doctor, while others watch me go through this.

I think there is no way to achieve this.

He read a story on the net where a group at Burning Man set up a medical exam experience in a tent made to look like an exam room, and where a man and woman were given exams in front of one another and others. To make the humiliation even greater, one had their exam not with their boyfriend or husband, but with someone like their brother-in-law, or regular male friend - that sort of thing. Total humiliation, as the exam included outing the most intimate moments imaginable, even ones that were put in as part of the fetish experience, such as having your breasts moved and groped in every way, or your penis measured. When the experience was over, you got to learn everything there was about the person with whom you were examined.

So he wants SOMETHING like this, and it's really not possible.

I have checked this out to some extent, and I found there are a lot of guys who want to see their wives, girlfriends, secretaries (ha!) humiliated.

I wonder whether there are other men or women here who would want to see their partners humiliated in a similar circumstance.

I don't see how this can be achieved.

I should think this is not a very unusual fantasy but if you’re really unhappy with the idea of being stripped and examined in front of others I think it could end up splitting the two of you up.

I might be wrong but imagine a lot of ‘patients’ who enjoy being examined would probably find having an audience of one or more people watching would excite them even more. I’ll confess here that I would find having someone present watching me undergo a physical examination would heighten the experience for me and when I’ve written stories for this sight I usually put myself in a position were several strangers witness my humiliation.

That said if your boyfriend wants to feel humiliated perhaps he should be the one stripped and examined while you and a few others watch.

I have to agree 100% with johncrossley.A lot of people have fantasies of being publicly humiliated in the ways you describe. If that's not your thing, then you probably shouldn't do it. But since you seem like a flexible person, you should make it a game. Let him go through the exam first while you and others, maybe some of your friends, watch. Then you can think about having it done to you. Sounds fair to me!

Lots of couples have one partner with a fantasy that the other does not share and as a result the fantasy is never realized--and they stay together anyway.

You and your boyfriend have to decide if the fantasy is more important than your relationship.

As far as being humiliated by having an exam in front of other people, you could ask for it to be done. I love being examined by my husband at S&M parties. It isn't that someone else examining me would humiliate me, I just don't want anyone else sticking their appendages into me. That is reserved for my husband (because I AM THE DOMME), but people watching is fine. Besides, the physical pleasure you derive and the emotional boost you get from being examined and having others watch could be used as a demonstration of your strength.

It's partly in how you look at it.

Alisa,

I have always fantasized about being subjected to a compulsory exam with a female classmate or coworker. I find it erotic to be exposed in front of someone to whom you are not romantically involved. Having to simultaneously undress and see each other naked. Being able to watch her being examined and having her watch me in turn.

I'm with johncrossley. This sounds like an emotionally abusive relationship, not a healthy secure one. Susie is right about this as well. Make a choice between a sound, healthy relationship and one based on manipulation and emotional abuse.

Much depends on how 'humiliated' is used. And this depends on both your own and your boyfriend's feelings.

Doing things that are normally considered 'private' can be exciting; allowing someone else to have control over your body can be exciting. Either of these might lead to 'humiliation', but it is a mixed feeling -- humiliation plus excitement. Only you know when a line is crossed that makes the experience not exciting, but only humiliating; a partner who cares about you will not want to cross that line. That said, knowing what is exciting for him will normally help to make it exciting for you. So, as always, communicate. Talk about it. The more you can get into each other, the better you can make the sex for both of you.

Or, you may find that these deeper conversations expose fundamental incompatibilities. No magic solutions to that, but it helps to identify the problem.

Even when it doesn't seem like it, my feeling is that sexual activity is always a form of play; it should always be something that turns you on, even in the midst of the most humiliating scene.

My b/f did the same when we were courting and whilst I felt humiliated, I was also turned on. It worked for me, but we are all individuals so you must do what you feel happiest with,

Alisa

I think you have to look inside yourself and determine how much self respect or self worth you have. If you feel that you have a high value of self respect and it would be degrading to have other people watching you being humiliated, then I would say do not do it. It could be a deal breaker for the relationship but self respect is too important to give up. Also I wonder if your BF feels that you are superior to him and this is a mechanism to reduce your stature ?

A

Though I tend to represent the dissenting opinion on topics such as this, here are my thoughts. I don't automatically correlate sexual humiliation with an abusive relationship. Many people associate embarrassment and loss of control with sexual gratification, usually due to experiences during the genesis of their sexuality. Not only would the person receiving the exam suffer humiliation, the partner would also be dealt a severe blow to his ego by having another man in control of his girlfriend. Ultimately, the decision on whether to proceed belongs to Alisa. I believe many of us tend to forget how the sheer embarrassment of an exam morphed into the erotic experience we view it as today.

I've told my GF before that I have a fantasy of her going home with "another guy" and letting him do whatever he wants to her (but has to wear a condom) in whatever hole he wants. She's OK with the idea, we're just having trouble (well, she) deciding on which guy.. No strangers and she's trying to work on other couples we're friends with so iron out details and such so we're not ruined, their not ruined, etc. I would never want my or our fantasy to be the cause of someone's relationship demise. That's just not cool.

I also have the I'd love to watch her get an exam by a younger male while other people watched it.. She's up for that as well..

I've seen most of her friends naked (they're all young 20s) and don't seem to care about that.. so, we'll just see how it goes... I did get to play with my GF's and my GF's ex-GF's tits at the same time several years back.. That was a treat for sure..We've lost touch, so nothing more there..

But.. the biggest part is, she's willing to do a lot of things with someone else or a couple, assuming it's the right one.

Humiliation is a big part of d/s play and to some extent for many of us creeps into our medical fetish, if even to a subtle extent. There are many things that can make you blush for sure. I remember playing with a guy about 10 yrs ago and he was like... " Angie when you blush your whole body blushes" That was sweet and memorable.

You seriously shouldn't do something you don't want to do, even though it might be difficult for your relationship. You have to live with this and not your boyfriend! So think about it and if you don't want to don't do it and if he really loves you he will be able to deal with it.

I would advise you to think very carefully

After reading and rereading the original post by Alisa T, I feel most of the comments here are missing the point. Nowhere does she say she doesn't want to play along and find a way to fulfill this roll playing. Instead, she says a couple times she doesn't know how it could happen. I believe this is because she is not easy humiliated, and/or the BF does not want to share this desire with their swinging friends. Enjoying sex with others and in front of others is not going to achieve the humiliation the scenario requires. I believe she is looking for help in making the scenario happen, not encouragement to leave the relationship.

We may not know unless she replies here, but since this site is generally more about doing, learning, trying, participating, and experiencing kinky things, I think she's here for help in doing it. If she wanted out of the relationship I think she'd be asking for that kind of help on some other site.

Does anyone have advise on how a willing partner can better show the signs of humiliation to please their partner?

Why don't you both volunteer to be practice patients at a med school? The only downside is that you won't be able to watch each other being examined. Some practice patients are only used for routine office visit scenarios, but I'm sure some females are used in ob-gyn classes/demonstrations where numerous students are present. That's the only thing I can think of, aside from your "Burning Man" scenario or a bdsm/swing party...

I´m into that type of humiliation, too.

You should go to some public hospital and have your bf say you need a full corporal inspection due to some “weird skin decoloration” you have from time to time, but he wants to be present. At least that´s what you can do in my country (Uruguay).

@Hookajoe

Does anyone have advise on how a willing partner can better show the signs of humiliation to please their partner?

She can act shy in the medic´s presence, mainly by keeping her head down.

Both me and my fiancee have this fantasy, but in lesser intensity. I fantasize about her having a full physical examination by a male doctor who doesn't care much about privacy, and although she started liking medfet, she likes seeing me jelaous and losing control to other man.

We are planning to schedule her exam with two doctors, one male gynecologist, and one internist to have a full exam. She thinks my presence in the room would intimidate doctors, so she would go alone, and tell me every detail of exam later while I wait either at home or in the waiting room.

The only problem is that she is usually too prude to be into mood for this and lacks courage to schedule exam, and when she got into mood I were jelaous at that moment, so we haven't done it yet, but I hope it'll happen 😄