Where do the kids fit in?

My partner and I want a child. Children come first, obviously. But I'd like to hear from some other parents who manage to keep they're unusual sex lives in check, while still having that crazy sexual situations that we all adore?

What happens in the bedroom stays in the bedroom, especially BDSM stuff.

A big part of all those crazy sexual situations are in the minds. When your kids are older, you can enjoy your stuff when the kids are not home (play dates, sleepovers, etc.). If you have a spare room, it can be used as adult playroom that only you n your partner have access into.

You will be creative about it and find ways. Trust me! =)

We DON'T keep our sex lives in check! We just go crazy when the girls aren't home. An easy way to do this is to make sure they have an overnight sleep-over with a friend or with a grandparent every once in a while. When our girls (now 16 and 19) were younger, we used to have a blast when they were away at sleep-away camp. Neither noise nor marks from corporal punishment were a problem when they were out of the house for eight weeks at a clip.

If you don't make too much noise, you can do quite a bit even with children in the house. Sometimes it just takes a little longer to answer the knock at the door if you have to untie someone or if you have to get off to the bathroom because you just had an enema. It's also helpful if you have some kind of policy where your children know you want privacy at certain hours of the day like midnight to 2 am or something like that. Twice I borrowed a line from the Pulitzer prize winning broadway show "Next to Normal" where the psychotic mother says to her 16 year old daughter, "I'm going upstairs now to have sex with your father!" I got the same reaction the girl gave in the play, "Gee mom, I really don't have to know that." We both laughed. If the girls can tell me they masturbate, I can joke about we're having sex because they know we're kinky sex crazed people.

At the rate you're going, you'll get there is a few days. There are several threads about how we as parents deal with our sexual activities in regard to our families and our children. Topics such as teaching about sex, parental privacy, children and parental kink, children engaging in sexual activity and more. As a prospective mother, I know you will find these of great interest.

As susie says, take advantage of those times when the kids are not around (sleep overs, lunch with Grandparents/family, play dates with others). Even a couple of hours can make you and your partner reconnect with the roles you have chosen.

Remember that small children don't know what you are saying or doing. But as the grow they will hear and hopefully won't repeat anything you might have accidentally let slip while you were "flirting" in the open.

Good luck.

Hello,

If you don't mind reading the opinion of a woman without kids of her own then I must say that to me living the Lifestyle, and I mean living it 24/7, means that you and your partner learn to get over obstacles of all sorts. The kids fit in all the time let's face it, especially at a young age; so instead let us incorporate our Lifestyle into theirs. Now don't get me wrong, please, what I mean is we must ask ourselves how does this lifestyle benefit us psychologically and physically?

Physically: Strength, maybe endurance, definitely balance and flexibility etc.

Psychologically: Confidence, patience, creativity, discipline, in my case: happiness etc.

Then one must ask them self, how can I pass this on to my children? In other words, bring a whole new meaning to "Spice up your life". For example:

Here's a random list of what I might take on in a strong and healthy 24/7 relationship:

*Serve Him early morning breakfast, kids as well but maybe at different times according to their schedule. Or instead, if everyone has a similar breakfast time, I would make sure to bring him a glass of hot tea or orange juice upon waking. This is to give him special attention or show effort. I can elaborate upon request on what the children might pick up from this depending on the stature of each parent.

*While helping with their homework or driving to and from practices I am to hold two balls inside of me so that I will be ready for him when the time comes, and it will come, often.

*Keep a tight schedule so that I have plenty of time for both the children and my Husband, making sure that daily tasks are finished promptly and efficiently. Using time management to avoid small levels of shame or laziness when presenting myself.

*Encourage physical fitness from different outlets like outdoors and sports to keep self nimble and strong as well as others around me. When practicing my Lifestyle diligently my body must be in tip top shape therefore so shall my children's- for their lives of course...

To wrap it up, I hope I have helped even the slightest, the only thing that stumps me is finding the time to use, in the least, regular inside voices during intercourse with kids running around. Maybe turn up the music and say you and Papi need some adult time to spend with each other. For younger children I see a playpen or a room with a baby camera to look at over our shoulders. Fun stimulating toys and/or tv can lead to secret quiet hiding games behind the piano or consider sporadic late night or early morning dominations. What's a good Lifestyle without structure and diligence?

I am not trying to be rude or anything. But you have to be careful around kids. I don't think you want your kids getting the wrong ideas of you guys as a parent. Just be careful.

We have two days off in the week to play . Once kids go to school we play hard . Clean up and look presentable to do pick up at school .

I've not had children myself but two couples who have been good friends both into rubber/latex/bdsm were both open with their kids from a young age. Both ladies would wear latex "ordinary" clothes around the house. I have to point out that both females did it because they loved the feel of the latex. BDSM play though remained to when the kids weren't around, but as the kids got into their teens both couples were very good at explaining "the birds and the bees" and that adults who loved each other could play their own games.

Motto is... Be open but be sensible too.

Honestly I feel our kids know no more about our sex lives than any child. We are open and honest if they ask questions. We kind of let them approach us about things. Most kids do not want to hear about their parents lifestyle.

Honestly I feel our kids know no more about our sex lives than any child. We are open and honest if they ask questions. We kind of let them approach us about things. Most kids do not want to hear about their parents lifestyle.

*exactly *

We lock the door.

We have a good community of family around for trusted childcare. From the beginning we stressed the importance of knocking and waiting to enter a bedroom and respecting privacy. There are also other times like when they're sleeping or at school. I am very cautious about being too forward with sexual stuff when it comes to my kids. I do not want them to grow up with a weird complex or feeling embarrassed and ashamed.

I can't speak from a parent's perspective, but as someone who grew up with parents with kinks: I didn't know anything when I was little, whether they did it when I wasn't around or went on "a date". As I grew older they told me parts of the truth over time (I didn't ask for details either lol) and I understood them. Nowadays (and it has been since I was 15) I can ask them about any sexual topic and it doesn't bother them or make them uncomfortable, that's a great benefit of being open with your son/daughter

We didn't flaunt nor throw our kinks in our kids faces. We kept “things” hidden or put away. It was not for our kids to know about or be a part of that portion of our adult life.

As they got older they may have suspected something as they had access to the internet and all of it's “evils”. But neither asked about those suspicions then.