Anal sex pain

Me and my girlfriend tried anal sex and she said it hurt bad. I used lube and still hurts. How would I go about making anal sex less painful for her?

You have to start slowly to relax the anus, especially when you are a novice. The anus has to get used to relaxing so you can penetrate it easily. You have to start with a finger, then two and three. Eventually the anus will learn to relax quicker, but It takes time. Use LOTS of lubricant.

Switchablesusie, I've heard hair conditioner will numb it, is that true?

DO NOT use a numbing agent of any kind.

If you anesthetize the area and force something inside, THEN you will cause injury, possible bleeding and more pain. Pain is an indicator that something is wrong or not ready for penetration.

And NO, hair conditioner is NOT a numbing agent although it can be used as a lubricant.

Who's handing you this information?????????

I read it somewhere online ,

This is your third account on Zity with as many names. Why the duplicity? And would you please confirm your age, please.

I'm 26 I was born in 1986, I'm a firefighter and medic in North Carolina , all I did is shorten my profile name and I basically get chewed out for it , my girlfriend is on here too and she has almost the same pic as me on her profile , I came here for advise and ideas not to get bashed !

My first anal sex was when I was in college...and it did hurt. I have found out that if his cock is big it will hurt compared to a smaller (wide) cock. But now I use some lubricant, crisco, olive oil, Vaseline etc, and after lots of anal sessions it does not hurt. It seems the anal opening, with usage, will stretch and will accomodate wider and wider penises. Also playing with dildos will help.

Have a warm bath first, try different lubricants and find the one that suits you, I have found that to be rather individual and for goodness sake you dont start anal sex with penis size....in fact the little finger can cause quite as much sensation is a less experienced arsehole, it doesnt need to be dick!

and half a valium to really get the relevant muscles in a relaxed state... also position can be important, if you really feel dick is important get her to lower herself onto you so she is in complete control and dont force anything, if anything the arse"hole" should suck the dick in

If it hurts you're doing something wrong, anal should be pleasing to her, not painful.

Timmy61, it's the journey not the destination. If you approached straight vaginal sex the first time the way you approached anal with her, that would hurt, too. You can't just throw some lube on and expect it to feel okay. You need to have her so worked up she wants it, hungers for it, has to have it, NOW.

You need to seduce her into it. (In my opinion.) I say this as someone who was intrigued, tried it with the wrong partner, got badly hurt, and swore to never try it again.

Several years later, the boyfriend with whom I did not try it, but did get me interested in it seduced me into it. and it blew me away. I ended up loving it and it turned into a regular part of our play, and I was the one who initiated the most. After I started having anal orgasms, I started not being able to have regular orgasm without it triggering me wanting to have an anal one right after it. I don't know who was more shocked about it.

I posted the description of what he did in the "Anal Orgasm" forum.

Here is the link.

http://www.zity.biz/index.php?mx=forum;ox=display;topic=18141.msg491835#msg491835

If you want to add it it, I's suggest starting with a full body massage with oil making sure to massage her bottom and then moving in to massage her inner cheeks using whatever stroke is comfortable. You're going to want to tease her bottom playing with you fingers back and forth gently teasing her.

Slow down, getting there really is half the fun!

Slow and easy! Lots of lube. Slow streaching. The more she does it, the better it will feel. No rammy the tool!

My wife and I have had regular anal sex for over 20 years, and it does take practice and gets better over time. I agree 100% with starting VERY slowly. Use natural oils (grapeseed works well) just slowly massage her anal area...outside at first and then gently insert very tips of fingers at first. I think licking or massaging clit simultaneously helps too, but let her guide you on what feels good. My wife is very anal-sensitive and gets a little unhappy if I make her orgasm too quickly with anal play, so I'm still learning too. Hope this helps...

All excellent advice so far from the folks that have posted to this thread.

Tuga, I would say the golden rule on all anal play or anal sex is that if it hurts, pull back and stop. If you are feeling pain deep inside, then the guy needs to pull back and not go as deep. I find most of the physical sensations come from the sphincter clutching my penis but once inside the rectum I feel less physical contact because the rectum is more of an open chamber so depth is not always necessary to feel lots of pleasure for the guy.

For beginners, I would suggest measuring the man's penis in terms of width. You can start by practicing with fingers, then toys that are less or close to the width of his penis. Once you know you can pleasurably take the width of his penis with an anal toy then you are probably ready to go. Keep in mind this may take multiple sessions to be able to stretch wide enough to equal the width of his penis. Still follow all the tips that others gave of getting ready with slow massage and lots of lube then try doing anal penetration.

Anal play should not hurt and if done right can deliver extremely pleasurable sensations for both men and women.

Some of us like a little discomfort!

Go slower allow her time to adjust to your size lots of lube more the better. Practice stretching her before insertion would be great for her

My boyfriend and I had talked about it for a long time before we ever did anything ... that way inbetween, i had time to realize that

1) if done properly - IT DOES NOT HURT - and in time feels amazing (fuck, the first time I had sex hurt like hell) - just make sure to go slow and let her determine the pace

2) it doesn't have to be dirty or dangerous (condoms, showers, enemas.....all good ideas). I never have anal unless i feel... clean

3) I knew how hot the idea of anal made him - I finally got turned on by the idea of it so basically, If I were you I'd just keep reassuring her that it'd be hot and fun for both of you. You could buy toys or books to help both of you feel comfortable. It's not gonna happen if she's nervous (physically)

One thing that wasn't mentioned in this thread is that if the receiver has fissures or hemorrhoids, it's probably going to hurt whatever you do. Best to let those heal before trying penetration with something like a penis. Seems like common sense, but worth pointing out just the same.

As a man and very happily married, I enjoy rectal stimulation very very much. I guess I have a big prostate that enjoys to be probed and filled with a good enema.

My second wife taught me well and enjoyed using various anal probes and vibrators to let me have major major orgasm. Still love to this day to be stretched to the limit.

Here's the scenario...

You're fingering your girlfriend's bum and she's getting hot and horny and she suddenly says "I want to try anal sex", or maybe it's your all your idea and she's so turned on she says "Yes!", so you lube up her hole and your tool and start to push, and push, and it's not going very far so you push harder, and harder and suddenly it pops in! But then she starts screaming "Stop! Stop! It hurts!". And later she says it still hurts. And later she says she wishes she'd never wanted to try it. And later she says she wants to see her doctor. I just about guarantee she will never, EVER want to try it again.

Which is sad, because anal penetration and intercourse can be amazingly pleasurable. (This is true for men too, because it's a unisex pleasure, but that's not the topic here. Hello, pegging, plugging, fisting, etc).

IMHO, it is the duty of the male to be responsible by manually probing and massaging the recipient before proceeding. Unless 3 fingers on one hand, or 2 on both hands can easily be massaged in, do not proceed. Instead, take the opportunity to erotically dilate, massage, and "train" the sphincter to receive... maybe next time.

Keep in mind there are 2 things going on here... first, the involuntary sphincter sees you as a parasitic invader it wants to keep out, and second, there is the maximum circumference that both sphincters can be dilated.

It may take several sessions, but through manual massage you can 1) train the sphincters to stop fighting and just relax "Hey, it's just me, relax and this'll be great!" and 2), stretch the sphincters to be able accept to you.

Make sure to use stupid amounts of lube. There is naturally NONE in there. (Imagine a fat cluster of pleasure receiving nerve endings embedded in fragile tissues with a hole running down the center that theoretically your cock can pass through, and there's no natural lube!) It works best to squirt or inject 20 cc's or so in there. (You can pruchase silly little sex shop "injectors" for this, but even better are inexpensive 60cc cath-tip syringes.)

Once her sphincters can easily accept you, and if there's enough slipperiness sloshing around inside, fucking her ass with your cock will put her in heaven. (I've known women who preferred anal intercourse because they said it was a more intense "fuck".) But if there's not enough lube, or she can't stretch to accommodate, there will be trouble and sorrow.

I see the OP hasn't logged in for nine months and hasn't posted in three years. Don't expect him to see new responses.

@quincy Even if the OP never sees additional responses, others with the same question in the future will.

Best advise I can give is start by loving your on ass first. Only then will you understand what your doing wrong.

Lots of lube and start small. Use a finger then slowly graduate to 2. Then a small toy. All while stimulating her vagina. Once aroused, the sphincter will relax and dilate. Do not introduce your penis until you are able to get a penis sized toy inside her anus with little effort and no pain. Then let her sit on top of you and guide you inside her.