That's a good point, ProV1. One of the things I think is interesting about sex is that both women and men can take a woman's ability to enjoy it for granted, then they wonder why she has trouble getting off.
For men, sex can't quite happen until the man gets an erection, and this is very difficult when a man is tense, anxious or unfocused. It is pretty much mandatory that a man develop and maintain his ability to truly get in the zone for sex, but women often have sex without learning how to mentally prepare for it themselves. Many women can fall into the habit of just going through the motions without making sure they are as calm as a man needs to be for it to happen, because that is how calm women need to be as well. The consequence is that these women usually do not enjoy it as much as they could.
It can take a lot of patience to break lifelong habits and shift patterns, and to let go of the fear-based emotions mentioned in the video, but it is possible. I don't want to sound pretentious or like a hippie, but lot of people use yoga and meditation to learn how to regain the full possession of themselves that they need. I'm not sure how familiar you are with this stuff, but yoga classes and meditation classes are all over the place these days. You can also learn it without leaving your house- I think the P-90X yoga dvd and the book Zen Mind, Beginner's Mind are good places to start. I also recommend the book Female Ejaculation by Somraj Pokras and Jeffre Talltrees. At times, this book Female Ejaculation is a bit wishy-washy in its approach to sex, but overall it is still very informative about applying Eastern ideas to this particular practice as well.
Another thing that I have heard is great for making progress toward a calmer state of mind is floatation tank therapy. I am no expert on this, but the brainwaves experienced during a float session are like those achieved after a month of meditation, if I remember that statistic correctly. Here is a brief youtube video about it: