What is optimal sexual partner for FIRST time for a male?

Which is the optimal sexual partner for the "First" of a male?

- an unexperienced female?

- an experienced female?

- an experienced milf or mature (e. g. divorced or a widow)?

I was very shy with girls and a virgin till I was 21. My first time was with a girl my age, but far more experienced. She had had at least three lovers and had just broken with her "fiancé" when we started dating. iI guess I can say I was luckly as she taught me a lot.

Much will depend on the personality and character of the male. An outgoing, on the go, Mr Personality type might best be served by someone equally inexperienced since it would go to help prove to himself that he knows how to get things done, how to take charge of a situation and use his character skills to his advantage.

A shy, withdrawn person might best be served by an older, experienced lady who will be able to guide him and through her own experience understand what kind of emotional handicaps a shy person needs to be helped with.

But this is just a very general musing on a subject that probably does not have any truly correct or optimum answer.

Beyond it I suppose that this depends on the fact if a certain society is more patriachal or more matriarchal. It is well known that in Russia the «Mamutschka» has a high rate. So, e. g. divorced women or widows are self-confident in sexual affairs too. Take a look at the following videos:

www.hardsextube.com/414401/

www.hardsextube.com/1078150/

www.hardsextube.com/811059/

Way back when I was a first time male, an optimal partner was any girl I could catch!

IMO, there are two qualifications for a first. One is that they are 'safe.' By that I mean that they aren't out to hurt you and they are disease free. The second is that you're attracted to them. The last thing you want to do is to taint your future by having bed (as opposed to not good) sex the first time.

Jds4med, are you kidding me. For most 16 YO males any sex is good sex.

I think bad sex, which at that age probably translates into painful sex is more likely to effect and taint sex for females and not the males.

Really, try and recall when you were 16. Was there such a thing as bad sex?

[color=#000000]How can there be any question? An experienced caring female is by far the best for a first-time male.[/color]

She can show the boy anything he doesn't know. She knows how to move to make it the best for him, she could teach him what to do to satisfy his partners, she would be confident in herself and transmit confidence to her inexperienced male partner, she could do things to him that an inexperienced girl would never imagine, in short, an experienced female could show the boy the time of his life on his first sexual adventure.

Reggind: To say that ANY sex for an inexperienced male wouldn't be bad sex is erroneous. It would just be sex but he might not know any better and might not think it's as good as it can be.

Ricini: I'm surprised you are using a porno flick to make your point. IT'S A PORNO not real life or an educational film.

Svensson was right on the money: an experienced girl could teach him a lot--more than he could imagine and make his first time really wonderful memorable experience.

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My older daughter lost her virginity to her boyfriend in high school when they were both 16. After doing lots of petting and both of them having seen lots of porno flicks and having her own dildos she had a wonderful time nevertheless. My younger daughter also lost her virginity this year when she was 16 to an older college boy she had been seeing. Now the younger one is the very vocal, outspoken, really intellectually gifted, scientific type who also saw a lot of pornos on the playboy channel and the internet, and she told me having an older boyfriend (he is 19) was a very positive feature for her. She told me he totally took control and told her exactly what to do (almost out of character for her) when she was losing her V-card. She had a good experience and a few orgasms. After her first time she took the initiative to say what she wanted to do and run the show.

[color=#000000]Being with someone who has more experience than you helps make you better at what you want to do. It's just like tennis. If you want to get better, play with someone better than you. If you play with someone not as good as you are then you are at a tremendous disadvantage if you want to improve your game.[/color]

Ricini: I'm surprised you are using a porno flick to make your point. IT'S A PORNO not real life or an educational film.

Switchablesusie,

naturally you are right, but it will be difficult to find an educational film upon this subject.

Susie,

We will have to agree to disagree on this one. I might have a bit more insight than you, as one time I a long time ago I *was* a 16 YO male.

The concept of good and bad, and learning.. That all comes later. And first time sex is almost always pleasurable for the male. Generally if there is a problem it is going off too soon, but even that still feels good. Look at the various discussions on here about loosing virginity on the forums here, and it seems to be a pretty common theme that the males have a pretty OK time and the females often don't, at least not at first. Sex is a bit of an acquired taste for the girls

I would say that an older male having sex with an inexperienced female would have a much more profound effect on her enjoying sex than an older more experienced female would have on the enjoyment of an inexperienced male.

Do you really mean to say that for your first time you would have preferred a girl who was also equally inexperienced?

The original question asked about the optimal partner for a first time male.

Why would a novice want someone who also had no experience? Sure, you'd get your rocks off, but you would be a lousy lover.

Would you really have wanted a virgin for your first time when you were losing your virginity?

Being with someone who has more experience than you helps make you better at what you want to do.

BTW, there ARE genuinely educational sex films. You can google it.

Being with someone who has more experience than you helps make you better at what you want to do.

Rationally speaking, that is of course true.

But the thing is, sex is not usually approached or experienced in a rational manner. Sexual desires and acts are driven by any number of irrational and lust-filled reasons and are often acted on in spur-of-the-moment occasions ... and society, family and peer pressure, all being so judgmental in their own ways doesn´t make it easy to arrive at rational decisions about this.

Thinking back on my own experiences, even if I had arrived at the rational decision that an experienced, older woman was better a first time, how in the world would you go about implementing it? Maybe in some countries you could go to a local brothel or whatever, but that doesn´t work everywhere. And hinting around older ladies? I don´t see how you could make a conscious, deliberate decision on this matter and then go about implementing it.

I have to refer back to the original question, "What is optimal sexual partner for first time for a male?" What is optimal isn't always easily achievable, but that does not mean that what may be difficult to attain isn't optimal.

It is high time to say thank to all the sensitive contributions upon this subject.

I would say it is better to be with an experienced partner for your first time. That experienced partner can be a calming and guiding sex partner which can make the first time very enjoyable, fun and not a nervous anxiety filled event.

She was older but not much older so I would call her a youngish divorced woman.That was how my first time was and it turned out to be a memorable night for all the right reasons.

There's sex, first, or any other time, and then there's SEX. My first lover, was also my first sexual partner, and I was hers in both categories. I am now happily married, and she is a widow, but we are still emotional lovers after more than half a century. I won't attempt at a count of other sexual partners. The only two that counted were the first and my present wife. Unless there is magic, sex in and of itself is two people masturbating in unison. It's not the experience level, it's the emotional connection that makes or unmakes joy.

There are far more factors than age and experience level. If there's "chemistry" and you both feel it, you should just go for it. If by "optimal" we mean "ideal," you probably don't need much experience to know that nothing in real life is ideal. Everything has its pros and cons, everyone has their flaws and, with any luck, some people have redeeming qualities. You have to know that if you are both young, your lives will move in different directions. On the other hand if your first lover is not so young, your lives are moving in different directions no matter what happens.

For example, the first woman I was with was 18 years older than I was at the time. For a variety of reasons, not just her age, I still feel lucky to have been with her. Before I met her, I knew I was open to being with an older woman if I found her attractive. I have to admit that this woman was so beautiful that I hardly noticed she was older than I was. As a result I was able to act natural when we met, or as naturally as a young inexperienced man can act around a good looking woman. However, she almost ruined it, by accident, when she asked me one too many times if I was sure I wanted to sleep with her. That made things awkward because it made me feel all kinds of pressure to prove that I really found her attractive. So there is a drawback right there. But on the plus side, she was patient and once we got over that, we really satisfied each other. All in all, these are good memories and I have a sense of humor about it.

We live in two different states. I was in a transition when I met her. I think it was confusing for both of us because we said we would still talk once in a while, but we never quite got around to having another conversation. After a few weeks she had met someone else and she wanted him to be her whole world, and that was the last I heard from her. I was surprised that she felt this way about someone, because I had been under the impression that she was a progressive single woman in the city who was disillusioned by traditions and played by her own rules. It seemed she had only pretended to be cool or something, which is some immature behavior that is disappointing to see in an older woman. The point is, anyone can be immature at any time. On the other hand, far be it from me to judge anyone, let alone someone I barely knew.

But these details about how it ended are incidental. I think on some level we knew all along that one day we were bound to lose touch no matter what, and she decided it might as well be immediately. I wanted her to know that she could still talk to me, but apparently she didn't believe me. Oh well- easy come, easy go. No harm, no foul. And as Dylan said: If you want me to, I can be just like you, and pretend that we never have touched. But as Dylan also said: If you see her, say hello.

I think the question is unanswerable. After all, each of us will have only ONE "first time", so we will never be able to compare.

My first time was with an older (by 5 or 6 years), married woman when I was 24. She seduced me, though I was more than willing to be seduced. I think that "first" experience helped make me more of a caring lover & sex partner than I might have been if I merely 'got my rocks off' with a girl as a teenager...

First time partner means teenage male to me. And that would be like asking a starving man what would be the optimal steak for his coming meal. Doesn't matter...he's focussed on getting his teeth into something, anything. Right now.

Get my drift?

My answer would be the one the individual wants. If he wants a fellow rookie, that's the right one for him.

If he wants an instructor, that's right. If he wants it to be the one he happens to be with tonight, then that's perfect. Optimal is what he wants it to be. We're not assigning him a partner.

Hands down, no BS, without a doubt, an experienced MILF or mature is the woman you want for your "first." They are the best people on the planet. She would be perfect for helping you explore areas you might be interested it and not be judgmental and more willing to try something new.

The optimal partner is the one that will agree to do it.

Wow a lot of you guys are apparently pretty indiscriminate! I mean, so many people are saying it doesn't matter who you are with the first time. I guess I am a bit romantic and unrealistic, but wouldn't you rather be with someone you can feel will be worth remembering? After all, we are talking about a memory you are stuck with for the rest of your life. I know that having sex is not that big of a deal. But maybe it can be, and people owe it to themselves and to each other to try whatever possible to make it count. Just my opinion.

Remember, George Costanza tells Jerry Seinfeld he never wants to sleep with a virgin because people always remember their first time, and he would much rather be forgotten. So conversely, no one should have to be with someone they would rather forget. Especially if it's only their first time.

Wow a lot of you guys are apparently pretty indiscriminate!

Depending on how old you are the first I would think that it's rather normal the some people are indiscriminate to a degree. Once in your late teens - 17/18 - nowadays it seems to be late for a first time. But there are others who are even older with their first time. I was 20 and getting pretty discouraged by then. It was sort of like hearing a biological clock ticking in a way. Of course there was no real cut-off date for a first time, but when in your 20s it also becomes a bit embarrassing in a personal way, even if no one else knows about it.

So I figure that being indiscriminate for a first time is rather normal in a way.

I guess there are two ways of looking at it, then. As time goes on, some get more desperate and less discerning, as you say. Others, however, become more discerning because the longer you wait, the higher the bar raises for it to be something worth waiting for.

Loving, Ready, Willing, Curious about fantasies, Mature, Experienced,

and certainly NOT doing sex because love but doing sex for her pleasure and mine.

Not ever having a sister and my mother being very private, I didn't get to see or know what girl parts were like. I used to talk with my girl cousin about what we each looked like, I showed her mine BUT she still owes me the return favour, I didn't get to see hers. 😢 As an early teenager I got to talk with the boatshed proprietor's daughter and she allowed me to touch 'these parts. 😃 SEX certainly interested us and we organised ourselves to DO IT when her mother and father were out. I can't remember EXACTLY what it was like, I suppose thinking about it these days one can only assume that I climaxed, but the worry was weeks later she missed her periods. I WAS IN PANIC that I was to become a teenage father. As far as I was concerned sex was too dangerous and I opted for enemas as my sexual pleasure and relief. I'm 74 now and still enjoy my anal pleasures but perhaps I was uneccessarily worried about the teenage pregnancy as I still haven't produced any offspring. In my recent years perhaps it would have been an education and safety for me had I have been introduced to sex by an experienced lady. Just my five cents worth, regards, irrigator333. Oh, a PS post script 😃 ) I wonder where she is today??

LBJ was president the first time I had sex. She was a virgin too. I was shocked to learn that women didn't automatically orgasm the way men did. We did it several times, but neither of us knew much, so it was Missionary Position and little else.

My second sexual partner was five years older than me and taught me a lot. She also had a healthy libedo and was adventurous in bed.

In my opinion, virgins should have experienced partners the first time.

Depends. If the male is young & in a mutual love relationship with a young girl & they are setting out to grow together & learn & experience life in their innocence, then there's a symmetry there that they're both equally inexperienced as they discover love & life on their own, hopefully behaving responsibly enough that there are no regrets later.

Then there are people like me, who struggled through the end of puberty with the difficulty of finding someone who could serve as an outlet for my own horniness. That's where the experienced female would've come in. Having someone bring you along in maturity & build the confidence so that you can have that meaningful relationship, either with her, or eventually someone closer to your own age. I myself would've preferred to have found older (more experienced) milfs/mature women. and both at the tine & even now i felt that would've been perfect for me.

I think for men (boys), introduction to sex by an experienced woman would go a long ways toward making them a better lover. Provided that the woman had a sincere interest in educating the young man in the art of sex.

Myself, and I expect many other virgins, I had so many pre-conceived notions about how sex was suppose to be - that it took me a long time to get on track. I think at the time I was more concerned with accomplishing the task than I was at enjoying the finer points of it.