Penis Size Assessment

I imagine doctors must get the “penis size” question often, especially from teenagers and young adults. With the exception of the lucky few, most boys feel insecure and wonder if they're “normal.” Some may already know they’re small, and go the doctor looking for a solution.

I'm not gifted in that department and while age and experience brought acceptance, it was a constant source of stress growing up.

When I was 9, my mother took me to the doctor specifically to inquire about my penis size. I was still a child, years away from puberty, so I didn't think much of it and don't remember feeling ashamed. First we sat down and talked to the doctor, when she explained my "problem" and they proceeded to talk about me in the third person, the way you usually do with children. Then the three of us went to the other side of the room, by the examining table. I had to strip to my underwear and the doctor checked weight, height and vitals. Then came the moment of truth: he was going to assess my penis size. I was lying on the table, and he lowered my briefs himself, as was the norm for children. He rolled each testicle with his fingers and checked the penis. Of course my mother watched everything and he told her everything was normal but my testicles seemed below average. The humiliation wasn’t complete because he also told her my hygiene habits were lacking. My mother was mortified and of course I heard about it for months. Even though I’m cut, my typical 30-second boy shower wasn’t enough and I had to be more thorough washing the head of the penis. The doctor also ordered blood tests and everything came back normal. As I mentioned, I wasn’t embarrassed at the time, but I’m sure that gave me a complex that I carried for many years.

When I turned 15, I went to a doctor by myself to ask about penis size again. This was after puberty and things weren’t really “progressing.” I told him why I was there, then he told me to stand up by a window and drop my pants and underwear. He looked at it for about 5 seconds, didn’t touch anything and said everything was fine. The doctor was actually a jerk. He said “What else do you want? Only a horse would be larger” then something on the lines of “you gotta fuck often to grow the cock,” but in Portuguese slang. I’m not sure if he thought the crude approach would help, but I left angry and traumatized.

Around 17, I went to a new doctor for a regular physical and again expressed concerns about my penis size. This doctor was more tactful and said everything was normal, but agreed with my childhood doctor that my testicles seemed underdeveloped. He gave me a nice speech about learning to accept this otherwise I’d never be comfortable being naked with a girl. I was still a virgin at the time, but very much gay… He had the best approach of all doctors, but was still not completely honest.

When I turned 18, I made an appointment with an andrologist (gynecologist for men). At that point I knew I was below average and was looking for a solution. When I entered the room, the doctor was sitting behind a desk. I sat down and I told him why I was there. After our little chat, he said “ok, let’s see this penis” and motioned for me to approach him. He turned his chair to me and remained seated while I sheepishly exposed my genitals. He held my penis, and declared it was totally normal, and actually a “thick penis”, that I should be happy… The exam didn’t go as I expected because I thought he’d be more detailed, measure the penis, maybe even ask for an erection.

I asked him if there was any solution. He mentioned a surgery that mostly affects flaccid size by cutting the penis ligaments from the pubic bone. He ended up prescribing testosterone pills and now I realize that was completely wrong of him and he was probably just trying to get rid of me. I asked if there were any side effects and he said I’d just feel hornier and jerk off more. I went through one box before giving up, and by that time I started to come to terms with my shortcomings and the acceptance phase began. That was the last time I asked a doctor about penis size.

In retrospect, my doctors were either dismissive, dishonest, rude or careless, and I wish they reacted differently. At the time I felt they were programmed to always say “it’s normal, it’s fine,” which only made me distrust them. In my opinion, a better approach would be brutal honesty coupled with solid advice. Examine the penis and admit that it’s below average, that it is indeed small. Then categorically declare that NOTHING can be done: no magic pills, no pumps, no injections, and no surgery. The only solution is acceptance, work with what you have and make the best out of it. It’s probably too much to ask from male doctors that may have their own insecurities, but given the frequency the question is raised by patients, they would have plenty of time to come up with a better approach.