Question about sex after vaginal childbirth

This is a real medical question.

I know women are typically told no penis-in-vagina sex for six weeks after a vaginal delivery. I assume one reason is everything down there is open and more susceptible to infection. My question though is if a woman had a normal vaginal delivery, no episiotomy, no tearing and then had sex a few hours later how much would it hurt?

I do realize no two women are the same. I ask because I'm working on a story where the mother insists on love making shortly after delivering. I know, highly unrealistic, but it's a BDSM themed story and not everyone in it is completely sane.

It can be a nice story, but I think after a childbirth, the mother is not thinking about sex, only about her/their new child!! But if the women really want sex I think it only will be pain and no pleasure. A penis is a bit smaller than a baby head (normally😃 ) And still without a episiotomy/tearing I believe the vagina is really sore. Only a woman can answer this question.

I've only had c-sections but it's really rare for a woman not to tear at least a little and possibly need a few stitches, plus there is bleeding- a lot of bleeding- for like 4-6 wks. Even with a c-section at 6 weeks postpartum, it hurts a lot. After a vaginal delivery? Can't imagine someone wanting it. Even in bdsm.

I've had three full term vaginal births, all normal deliveries and never teared or had stitches, and was always advised not to have full intercourse until after the 6 week post natal check-up, mainly beacause of infection, and also to heal a little inside beforehand.

I didn't wait the full 6 weeks, I think it was 3-4 weeks, as soon as the bleeding had stopped, we took it really gently the first time, and it was fine, it felt a little sore and a bit slack until the muscles were healed and strong again.. but with time and patience all was back to normal sex within a couple of months.

Sex a few HOURS after delivery? I think not! Speaking from personal experience, there are four things a woman wants after giving birth (not necessarily in this order), her baby, sleep, food, a shower. Sex doesn't even make it on the list until several weeks after birth. Yes, it would hurt like hell, after all, a watermelon just passed through that same opening, it would be messy, and frankly, she'd be endangering her own life. But, a story is a story.

Even without tearing, after you gave birth you feel like somebody just has beaten your vagina up.

Its sore, swollen and then of course there is the bleeding with clots.

I remember my friend telling me when she just deliverd her first child she went to take a shower and was shocked by the size of the clots.

She said it looked like pieces of liver falling out of her (too much information?)

I laughed a lot but when i rememberd her years later when i took my first shower after delivery and dicoverd she was right.

So sex? As horney as i was during my pregnancy's, i could not imagine sex after birth.

In addition to what has been said, you want the cervix to completely close to protect the uterus from infection.

Keep in mind that the placenta has just been peeled off the uterus and there isn't a better culture medium for bacteria than blood.

I've had three babies and couldnt imagine even touching me down there. I'ts just too sore and swollen.

My wife was too sore to have sex after our first baby, but after that she had no trouble with sex after the second, third, and fourth baby. She was only told to wait 6 weeks after the first baby as I don't remember the doctor telling her that after the other 3.

I remember she did have lot of bleeding after the births, but that didn't stop us from having sex as we always had sex during her periods.

Bill

When I went for my 6 weeks check after my 1st baby, I was pregnant. Every woman is different, but I only bleed for a few days and it's generally not much heavier than a normal period. The first couple days are hella heavy, but after that it's fine. With my 1st 2 babies I had sex like 10 days after. The 3rd was a different story... But it was a traumatic delivery. Even then we only waited like a month. You just have to take things slow and communicate with your partner. Doing it a few hours or even a couple days after would NEVER happen though. Every muscle in your body hurts, you feel like you've been hit by a truck, and you're suddenly a freaking milk cow. Not sexy!!!

I highly doubt any woman wants sex hours after delivery. Depending on the length of labor - all you really want to do is sleep. There are stitches from episiotomy which can tear easily. The whole idea of an episiotomy is to cut a neat cut rather than a harder to heal ragged tear. Also I believe it takes a while for the cervix to close completely. Basically you have just pushed a watermelon through a garden hose. A normal delivery does generally involve some tearing or a surgical cut. A huge head and wide shoulders have to come out of a very small opening! Seriously, The penis was really the last thing I wanted!!

I have delivered two vaginally and let me tell you the last thing I thought about was sex! It was about time with the new baby and just relaxing/healing after the battle my vagina had just been through. Even for just a story that is definitely out there! Lol Hubby didn't get to play with me again for a good 3-4 weeks after each and then had to take it VERY easy the first fewe tmes.

I really have to make one more comment on your storyline Buddyguy. You say it is a BDSM themed story and not everyone in it is completely sane. Are you aware of the three key words in a BDSM relationship? Sane, Sane, Consensual. Real people in the lifestyle live by those words. They would never do anything that wasn't sane nor would they get involved with people who aren't sane. That is a whole different ballgame. It is not BDSM. Sorry but I am getting really tired lately of stuff like 50 Shades of Grey and other irresponsible literature giving the lifestyle that I love and live within responsibly a really really bad name. Call it what it is. A story about insane people - not Lifestyle people. Persi

Safe, sane and consensual it is not. You're writing a horror story. Include the details about the life-threatening infecton,

the painful consequences of pelvic inflamatory disease, probable infertility that will almost certainly occur. Tell it like it is, stupid

with devastating consequences.

You know guys, lets think about things here for a minute before we stone the man to death. He has not posted his story, so how can we judge it? He simply asked a question as to what the implications are, is it possible. He clearly states that in his story, the woman who just gave birth wanted to have sex. He never said anything about her being forced to have sex.

Also what we have to realize is that BDSM means different things to everyone. Bondage to me is soft medical restraints, bondage to someone else might be to be put into a small dog cage. Doesn't mean either of us are wrong, just different.

Again, we can say the same things about people definition of sane. People who hang from hooks in my opinion are neither safe nor sane, but that's just my opinion. I have done things in my medical play that I know by law are not considered "safe", and people who know how I have played probably don't think I am sane, but I beg to differ. It's all relative.

Persi, with all due respect, please keep in mind that really BDSM is different things to different people. Remember that publications like 50 Shades are NOT written for us, they are written for the vanilla housewives who don't know any better. For them it's a pathway into our kinky world. It's a way for them to take the first step, maybe discover what they have been missing or have wanted but didn't know where to go, what to say, or who to ask. If they read the books and think it's something they want to explore more, then they will. And once inside our kinky little club house they will make and find BDSM things that suit their needs and desires, thus making it again, their own. While books like these might not be exactly how we would like to present ourselves to the world, baby steps my friend, baby steps. Smacking them in the face with what you might feel is real BDSM would most likely scare folks away, which in turn would shove us even more underground than we already are.

I have said it before, and I will say it again. 30 years ago our gay population was still in the closet, afraid to come out. Slowly they came out little by little. We as a nation started to become desensitised, and eventually became accepting. I for one would love that to happen to us, no matter what kink we have. Just sayin.......

Mashie

I have nothing to add here, except great reply Mashie. Karma bump for you.

Thank you Umfer87, and a karmic bump in return for saying thank you. People need to do that more often, it makes the world a better place. 0 > 1

Mashie

I had a friend who only waited two weeks she tore a little but she said as far as sex it didnt hurt any more then usuall

There are already a couple of women who have conceded to having sex very soon after child birth. If there is no tearing of the vagina, the bleeding I gather is the healing of the uterine lining from where the afterbirth came away. I was going to add to the question by asking if any women who are into fisting have a comment. In sex education I was constantly told that the new born's head is about the size of a man's closed fist. I personally know women who fist regularly and have sex right after it (or at the same time ;^) so is child birth physically different to passing a male's fist or is it physiological issues (hormones and exhaustion) or even psychological?

It's my understanding that in the UK, when a new mother goes home, the hospital gives her an inexpensive medical TENS unit, a bi-polar vaginal electrode, and instructions to spend at least 30 minutes twice a day (while baby is sleeping) lying down with the trode inserted and the TENS unit running. The steady contractions help bring the vaginal muscles back to their normal resiliency. What happens is that women like it so much, they don't stop doing this after the 3-6 month period -- they're having the best sex & orgasms of their life.

They probably turn it on with only smaller amounts of power at first, and have only milder contractions, but I believe they're instructed to start it immediately at home.

Many0ohs4U.

Your understanding is incorrect.

Giving every new mother a TENS unit?That sounds highly unlikely, the cost alone would be prohibitive especially now the NHS is being forced to make severe cut backs due to to a lack of government funding. I'm sure some of our UK medical staff members will have the correct information on this.

Many0ohs4U.

Your understanding is incorrect.

Giving every new mother a TENS unit?That sounds highly unlikely, the cost alone would be prohibitive especially now the NHS is being forced to make severe cut backs due to to a lack of government funding. I'm sure some of our UK medical staff members will have the correct information on this.

I must second Rockdoc's statement here. You might, but probably wouldn't, get advice to buy your own TENS unit but certainly none would be provided.

Off Topic I know, but in fact, with the parlous state of our National Health Service, you're likely to be discharged home a couple of hours after delivery, even in the dead of night, having shared a midwife on the unit with several other mothers all delivering at the same time. I've twice had recent family experience of this and it's a worrying trend.

Another thing that is happening, also off Topic, is telling expectant mothers to come in to the unit to have the birth induced in some feeble attempt to programme demand on the maternity unit!

The NHS has, for some years now, acknowledged that TENS machines can be a useful source of pain relief, including in childbirth. Their website says: "Some hospitals have TENS machines. If not, you can hire your own machine." As will be seen from this article:

http://www.nhs.uk/conditions/pregnancy-and-baby/pages/pain-relief-labour.aspx

the use of TENS in this connection is to provide pain relief during labour.

I own a TENS machine and have done for many years; the instructions specifically state that the electrodes should not be placed on or near to the genitals. I don't know where ManyOoohs4U has obtained this information but, especially in view of the stated reason for the 'treatment', if I read or heard about this (especially if it was from a supposedly official source) I'd be checking to see if it was April 1st.

As a footnote, when TENS machines were much more expensive to buy than they are today, some NHS pain-relief clinics did actually provide machines for home use (on a time-limited-loan basis) to some patients with chronic conditions.

The use of TENS machines, both ante-natal and whilst in labour, has indeed been tested, apparently ad-hoc rather than in a study, but as Macca says, it's only 'some' hospitals that have them and they are for pain relief, using pads as electrodes. Most pain relief in labour is of course by epidural or IM injection and Entonox inhalation.

Pain relief clinics too use them for morbid/constant pain, where standard medication has failed but this is not maternity related.

The treatment that Many0ohs4U refers to is to strengthen pelvic muscles after childbirth and for urinary incontinence.

It is applied by means of a TENS machine and a vaginal or rectal probe electrode delivering pulses to make the muscles alternately contract and relax. Some probes are equipped with an indicator in the form of a rod attached to the probe, which stays outside the vagina, indicating by it's movement the strength of the contractions. There is a typical one at http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/NEEN-Periform-Vaginal-Continence-Probe-for-Kegel-Exerciser-Inc-Training-Wand-/130849068411?pt=UK_Health_Beauty_Mobility_Disability_Medical_ET&hash=item1e7736557b - scroll down for illustration of how it works, the picture only shows the indicator faintly.

Interesting, BigK, thanks for posting that link. I'm never too surprised at the array of implements there are available to us, and I guessed that some sort of 'wand' or 'probe' would probably exist to provide some sort of 'e-stim', but I thought it best to point out the warning which was included with my machine; though that does use adhesive pads, you never know what some people will regard as "a good idea at the time"!

Maybe something of this sort would be recommended by doctors to treat incontinence and the like but, like you and Rockdoc, I can see (as we would, given our geographical location) that there's no way the NHS would provide such things as standard equipment to a post-natal mother!

Well, a story is just a story, right? The writer can write anything he dreams of, but when it comes down to it, he must first know his audience well.

I think many people take childbirth as sacred. It is a special moment for parents, especially new parents. Also childbirth could be traumatic. Afterall, back in the years of buggies and horses, it was common that women died during/after childbirth.

In that light, perhaps you will not find many bdsm readers who will get horny by the said topic. What's the point of writing and erotic bdsm story that cannot turn people on?

Although not exactly sex after birth, Madison Young, awsome sexy MILF of the hot self produced porn world, used an Hitachi Magic Wand on herself during labour and child birth as her pain management device.

http://www.loveofmystery.com/2011/04/artgasm-with-madison-young-and-sadie.html?m=1&zx=7c7ab2eb96ec846f

She is a little bit of self described pain slut, and enjoys many things that most people would respond with "ouch". But this does set an example for an otherwise typical sexual stimulation used during the child birth process. Hope to read your story here soon.

Big K: I have the exact Periform bi-polar vaginal trode that is in your link, and I've used it on women. That's a good price -- I paid more.

Yes, the use of these (or any TENS estim probes) is to exercise the muscles after birth to strengthen them. Maybe they've stopped giving them away these days in the UK because of budget problems. Because of their simple design and large scale production/buying, the cost to the medical system would be quite small. I doubt they pay more than $20-30 for an inexpensive TENS & Periform. They don't buy retail; they get them at practically cost of manufacture. Internet sex sites charge MUCH MUCH more for the identical items.

So much for the "medical advice" that they should never be used on genital areas. Similar to the "medical advice" that they should also never be used above the waist. Medical TENS devices were INVENTED to be used above the waist, as well as below -- but not stupidly.

Speaking of "not using them above the waist", has anyone seen the US Police training practice videos where they shoot each other (above the waist) with Tazers with hundreds of thousands of volts, with enough current to knock a person off their feet? That's what the police do daily -- above the waist -- not that I'd want it done to me, or would recommend for anyone else either.