I think the last time I had a real rectal thermometer in my fanny at, the doctors office when I was a kid I was probably 12. I went for my last set of shots at the pedetrician's office before entering 7 grade. So, I protested a little bit during the whole thing as my mom was in there with me for the entire procedure as well. Mom and I have always been close, but I was still a little more than uncomfortable to say the least. i can't even remember how many shots i got that day, but if memory serves me correctly, I got three of them in my tushy that day.
Now as an adult, in a play setting, well, is there really any other way to have them taken? I don't think so ,lol.
However, once about 2-3 years ago i went to my Doc's for a very complete physical for a job and a very good job that i really wanted. Well, I had to pass the physical first. My friends had already clued me in that the physical was very in depth, so make sure I washed all my naughty bits because they would be being inspected as well.
Well my rule of thumb here is that no one touches me like that except my real Doc. Finally they agreed to let him give me my physical. They handed me a thick packet, which Doc ordered me not to open until he could see it first. Well I knew I was in trouble because when I went up to the desk to register, the office manager told me I was his last appointment of the day, that apparently the physical requirements for this new job were a long and complicated very detailed exam, In which Doc has me blocked for a two hour appointment slot at the very end of his already very long day. I still hadn't seen what was in that packet, but he had, so that's when I started getting bit nervous.
Well a few minutes later, Doc came to the waiting room to fetch me back to his exam room. So far so normal. He sat on his black stool with his computer in his lap or up on the exam table while I was sitting on the chair beside the exam table. He asked me all the normal doctor questions he needed to ask about my recent history, and my current medication lists etc. Then the clinical part of the exam was going to start. He pulled out a gown and handed it to me, he simply said everything comes off including socks and panties, hop up on the table and I will be back in in few minutes. And he was back in a few few short ,minutes. When he returned I was still sitting in the chair and he told me to hop up on the table as he continued looking over the scads of forms the employer sent to him., I won't go into all the details of that complete, and I do mean complete physical since we are only talking about rectal temps in this section, but then he said, "interesting" and I asked him what was so interesting. He then showed me one of the first lines of the paper which was for the patients vitals. The normal things, blood pressure, pulse, respers, 02 sats and then temperature, but beside temperature there were three different boxes to pick on, oral, tempanic, and rectal. Beside them was line to write which one he did. His phone beeped and he excused himself for a moment and when he returned he went right over to the drawer beside the sink and pulled out a packet of lubricant. I immediately scooted back a bit as I watched him pull out the glass thermometer from his pocket and shake it down in front of me. I could see the red tip on it. I immediately started to balk at him. He in a stern doctors voice said, "now, you have been a very sick girl, just had major surgery, and you are sweating, not to mention the coke you have sitting on my counter. What would you expect me to do and as a nurse giving these circumstances that you have presented to me today, how would you take your patients temp hon? Seriously, what would you do? I pondered that for a second, knowing that having my temp taken rectally made the most medical sense, especially since I was less than a few weeks out from pretty significant kidney surgery, I had to be honest with him in my nursing judgment and tell him that I probably would opt for the rectal route. Then he said, okay you know what needs to be done, up on your belly hon, or you can just lift your gown and bend over the table for me if you want. I sat there for a few minutes giving him my best stare down and "no way in hell look, but instead of backing down like I was sure he would have, he took a step closer to me and shook the thermometer down again. His face was stern, and he made me feel his authority that day just though his body language. I knew he meant business and wasn't joking around. So the next thing I knew I was up on his table, gown pulled up to my lower back exposing only what I needed to to give him access that he needed to take my temp in my fanny. He sure took it there alright, left it in for the full 3 minutes too.
I was so mad at him for doing that to me at the moment, even though I knew it was medically warrented and was the exact corect thing to do. I was embarrassed. And oddly enough, he's done that same thing to me hundreds of time in a play setting and I loved each one, but this was so different because it was the real deal.
He finished out my complete physical that day, and I was still miffed at him for it. It wasn't the temp that got me, it was the fact that he beat me at my own intimidation game.
However looking back on that now, I was about 38 at the time, and that incident still and will probably will always be my favorite memory of any real life doctor experience. I will have dreams about it at night, and have thanked him multiple times for giving me that experience.
Mashie