I had an incredible experience with another kid when I was a 12 and loved it but felt guilty for years. I thought I was gay which only bothered me because I really liked girls too!
It was so damned confusing. I had heard the term bisexual but guess I never fully understood it. I guess I thought I could fuck away that 'gay' part of me by overindulging with the ladies. Didn't work.
Hell, the first woman I was with, when we were in the middle of it and I was beginning to flag (plus she wasn't nearly as tight as the boy I fooled around with years before), I noticed in the dim light that she looked a little bit guy-ish. Took about ten seconds to ring that bell...
So, I was married for 16 years (still am) when I finally figured out I was bi.
I found an online Kinsey Spectrum test. it goes from 0 = totally hetero to 6 = totally homosexual. I clocked in at a perfect 3! It was like finally being vindicated! It simply confirmed that there wasn't anything wrong with me and that I wasn't some filthy weirdo who needed to choose between one or the other.
I came out to my best friend, a girl I've known since I was a kid, she's like my sister. I expected her to freak out. Nope.
She said she'd help me in talking to my wife. Well, one day I just couldn't wait. I asked if she'd heard of the Kinsey Spectrum. Nope. I explained it to her and asked her where she thought I'd end up. She immediately said "Three!"
WTF? She said she already knew. I asked how long and she said before we got married.
"Hey!" I said, "*I* didn't even know. Why didn't you tell me?"
She said it wasn't her place and that it had to be on my own timeline and was for me to figure out. I mean wow! I never had another male-male experience since that time when I was a kid...
She told me that I should explore this side of myself and that it was OK with her just as long as I remembered where home was 😃
So she asked me what I wanted to do about it. I said, "Umm, probably suck a dick?"
She nodded her head and said that was probably a good place to start, lol...
So I went to Burning Man and met up with a guy who I'd met online in a BM chat group. I was mad about him, RAWR!
For all those years, fantasizing and craving a frisky, healthy cock, it sure wasn't like I thought it would be. I was initially rather hesitant. The natural musky odor and taste were not something I'd ever considered. It wasn't horrible, just different. Wow, the jaw muscles do get a bit sore. Fuck! I surely had a whole new level of respect for the women who'd rocked my mike in the past...
As soon as I saw his toes begin twitching and some moans, THAT was when I really started getting in to the act. It was like pure magic. The interactivity of it. Being able to see instantly what worked, getting instant feedback, it was like playing a fiddle or running a remote control system.
I suddenly realized that when a woman told me she loved to suck a cock that she wasn't just blowing smoke.
It's not about control, it's about having a continual feedback loop between you and your partner.
We switched places and he gave me one of the best blowjobs of my life!
After we came out of my trailer we got some good natured ribbing from my campmates. We'd all met online and they kind of knew there was something between me and the guy. Not one was freaked or disgusted and more than a few, who are 100% hetero, were genuinely happy for me and glad that I'd found what I'd needed there at the burn.
We missed each other this year but will hitch up again there in 2013...
My wife and I are closer than ever before and happy as hell together.
I'll tell you, life could be a lot worse...