My boyfriend and I have a very fun sex life, but there's something missing.
I am submissive and he was vanilla before we met. I introduced him to the joys of spanking a willing bottom and he absolutely loves it. If only that was the end of the story. But I am also rather preoccupied with anal sex, enemas, suppositories, etc...
My boyfriend has never had anal sex in his entire life, and had never gone anywhere near that part of a woman before he met me. Every girlfriend in the past told him that area was off-limits, so he assumed anal sex was something everyone talked about but nobody actually did. To make matters worse, he has IBS (irritable bowel syndrome), so he's had lots of bad experiences with his own nether regions, and no good ones.
It took about 3 months of having regular sex (and me often gently reminding him that I would love for him to touch me there) before he had the guts to insert some very small anal beads and then have traditional vaginal sex with me. I asked him afterwards how he felt about it and he said, "I don't know... it felt very.. clinical". Oh no! Beads + sex = clinical??? He did say that he might eventually get comfortable with it, but it's been probably a month since that happened and there's been no observable progress in that direction.
So here's where I stand right now. I really, really like this guy. He is amazing... intellectual, funny, warm, generous, dominant in the bedroom, but always respectful. I'm willing to give it all up for him if that's what I have to do. I have toys. I have an enema bag and I know how to use it. Thanks to the internets, I can read stories and watch movies about other people doing the things I want to do. I can do these things to myself. It's not the end of the world.
I'm not going to nag him. I'm not going to risk making him feel like this has to happen or he'll lose me. I'm not going to keep trying to get him to do something that creeps him out because of his own bad experiences. I just wonder if anyone has been in a similar situation and if there was some way to change it that I haven't thought of yet.
And thank you in advance for not offering your services as his replacement. We are monogamous and committed to each other.
m.