I am not sure if this is in the right place or not. So, if it isn't, or if someone thinks it might fit better someplace else, please, by all means, let me know, I would greatly appreciate that.
Okay, so, here's the deal. a while back Doc and I officially decided to be each others owner. Now, before I go on with my real reason for this post, I have to tell you this little funny story.
Doc and I are not, or were not really BDSM types of folks, we're med fet folks. Sure we dabbled a little into that side of things, but, not being well versed, or probably versed at all, I'm afraid I might even offend the true BDSM'ers by even saying that we dabbled in it with, up until about 2 years ago, what little we did, lol. Make sense?
For the first 2 years of our relationship our BDSM dabbling amounted to a few times me dressing in all black, leather boots, corsette/body suit sorta thing, black hose with a garter belt, and a riding crop. This outfit was used in the hotel room only. And during this time when we played in the office we were using medical restraints. And that's what I mean by dabbling a little.
Well, after the "event" when we were ordered not to do any sort of medical play, we moved over more towards the BDSM side of things a little bit more, and I do mean just a little. Oddly enough, I have only worn that black outfit I think once in 2 years now, not sure why, actually, I think I need new stockings or something simple like that.
Anyway, now our BDSM equipment consists of that black outfit, riding crops, we have 2, one short and stiff, and the other longer and more pliable, a leather flogger, a black round leather paddle, some rope, and under the bed restraint system, a hood, a few bigger plugs, and maybe a few other various odd and ends. So yes, I know those of you who are really into real BDSM are just cracking up right about now..lol
Continuning with the time line, about 8 months ago Doc and I started talking about Dom's and Sub's. He's goes to an exclusive Dungeon once in a while and would share with me some of the things that go on there. Seeing as how I live in Amishvill USA, we don't have places like that here, that I know of anyway.
Well, I'm not sure if I find the things he was talking about so incredibly fascinating because I have never been exposed to anything like that, or if it's because we both love each other so much, and we are both putting our own needs, wants, and desires aside to please the other, or if it's because we both are always in control all the time in our private lives and at work that we love and need sometimes to be a sub. However, we both have always been switches. So we talked about it and started dabbling in the dom/sub rolls. And we love it, both sides, equally as well.
So, about 4 months ago now we decided to make it official. While no collars were put on, we had a very serious and heartfelt discussion and decision to be owned by the other. It was sort of odd how the entire conversation went down actually. We both are very funny people and like to joke around, but this was so important to us, and meant so much to us that we both sort of amazed ourselves as to how serious we were.
So then 3 months ago when I had mentioned our decision to some of our EC friends, and then wrote a blog post about it, I expected reactions like, "really, you two collared, I would have never guessed that." Something along those lines. But instead, the reactions were more along the lines of, "geeze, it's about time", or, "you guys have been collared to each other for years, everyone else knew that, we were just waiting for you two to catch up, lol."
Okay, so that was my funny little story I wanted to tell you before getting to my real question and reason for this post. If we were ever to go to a real BDSM party, the one of us who would be sub probably would have a collar of some kind or another on. We are not really worried about that at this point in time because, well, to be quite honest with you, since we only get to see each other every 3 months right now, we don't want to take one of our precious evenings going out and seeing others. I guess we just are not ready to share yet. I know that sounds crazy, but every second we have with each other is so precious and valued.
So, here is what I need some help with. I am interested in having something that I can wear all the time out in the vanilla world, showing that I am collared, but doesn't scream, "hey, I'm collared."
I really really really wish I could find something along the same lines for him to wear too that wouldn't raise suspicions or eyebrows, or questions, but sadly, I don't think he would do anything like that.
We have talked about it for me though, tossed some ideas around, but just briefly. It can't be any sort of necklace or earrings though because he bought me last year for Christmas the most beautiful Opal necklace and earrings. I never take them off, and opals are a "soft" stone, so I don't want to say for example, "add a gem" to the necklace for fear it might damage the opal.
So, now that earrings and necklace are out, do you all have any ideas? What have you seen someone else wearing?
Like I said earlier, I'm a newbie in the big bad world of BDSM, so any thoughts, ideas, etc, even websites that have that sort of thing that you could suggest. I guess I don't have any idea as to where to even start.
Please and thank you in advance for any and all help/information.