Discussing your fetishes with your GP

Has anyone talked to thier doctor/gp about their fetish, and if so how did it go? i would like to but not sure where to start.

I thought there was a similar thread elsewhere on the forum but I can't seem to lay my hands on it so...

Speaking from the US might make the scenario a little bit different. Of course, your doctor can't discuss what you tell him or her in confidence. You needn't be concerned about a lot of snickering going on behind your back as you walk out the door. On the other hand, you should be aware that your HCP will darned well make a note of it in your record. This stands to reason because you're not the only patient he/she sees and they can't be expected to remember everything.

Case in point, one of my legs has been amputated and I wear a prosthesis. Every time I go to my doc, he checks my pedal pulses in both feet, even though I only have one. He gets embarrassed every time, I don't. I think he's just being thorough.

I would ask this question of myself before telling my doc anything, "How likely am I to present with a fetish-related injury or illness"? If you think the chances are more than 50%, by all means go ahead and tell him or her what you feel comfortable divulging. For my part, I keep it to myself. I like my doc, but not that much.

I have had several patients confess to me they have medical related fetishes

DO NOT TELL THEM ANYTHING unless you have a fetish related injury or illness and you are getting treatment. Generally, keep your mouth shut.

I also recall the thread Ladydoc is referring to. I made a couple of posts there also.

Every time you go to the doctor, they would have one more reason not to believe you. Why on earth would you want to encourage that?

Ok thankyou for your advice, will not say anything.

I ended up telling my dentist that I had a bit of a medical fetish,it was a bit of an unusual situation though and I highly doubt I would have mentioned anything otherwise.What happened is that in my dentist office they like to take you blood pressure before they do any work on you.So when I was there for a filling my dentist noticed my b.p.was unusually high for someone of my age and fitness level and she recommended I talk to my g.p. about it.Of course I know its from me getting excited about her working in my mouth but I didnt want to tell her that.Well from then on they took my b.p. every time I was scheduled to see the dentist even for routine exams.And every time she would say something to me about my heart rate being high.So finely one day I just got sick of making excuses and told her that I get extremely turned on by female medical professionals.Well wasnt quite that smooth I started out with the whole "this is kinda embarrassing" line but I stumbled my way into telling her that I found health care professionals and her very attractive.She was actually really cool about it,she smiled and laughed and made the observation that if she is going to be seeing me she all she needs to do is not wear makeup and such.Next appointment I had with her it was basically like it never happened and my pulse had gone down which I think was a side effect from not having that nervousness from trying not to get turned on.So I would say it was actually a positive thing in my case.But like I said that was unusual situation and I had been going to her for years.But for the most part I agree with the other post mums the word.

No, i never talked to my doctor about my fetish

A GP I use to go to was actually telling me stories of other patients - I don't know if he did it to break the ice or what. I did Google around and saw many complaints about him talking about sex related things and freaking them out. Well not that I cared and I guess he thought we wouldn't know whom, so no harm, but yes no everyone openly talks about sex/fetishes/fantasies etc.

Even gave me free samples of Cialis and Viagra to try out for fun.

He's moved since, but apart from that he was a pretty good doctor.

Keep thy tongue in thy mouth. Keep thy mouth shut. This is where the phrase "Less Is More" is true. We have a phrase in my family that also says it well. "Loose Lips Sink Ships". My personal physicians I have had for ages, I trust them with my life. As far as my medfet kink, NEVER would I let on to them at all. Only if my life was hanging in the balance would I divulge, and only what was absolutely needed to save my life.

Ha! my female doc is enabler for my fetish....got her to order a Barium enema last month!

I've always to wear panties to my physical but am afraid they may write down I have psychological issues lol

[quote author=Switchablesusie link=topic=59748.msg406134#msg406134 date=1324044433]

DO NOT TELL THEM ANYTHING unless you have a fetish related injury or illness and you are getting treatment. Generally, keep your mouth shut. I also recall the thread Ladydoc is referring to. I made a couple of posts there also.

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Agreed. Your medical records are going to be there for a long time and you never know when it might come back to bite you in the ass.

I agree with the "keep your mouth shut" crowd. Unless it's directly related and there is no way around it, I wouldn't say anything. I am somewhat involved in the kink scene here in NYC and I know one or two people who are very open about it with their physicians. However, again, I wouldn't say anything.

P.S. I just remembered that one of the people I know told her doc because she sort of had too. She had been doing a pretty hard spanking scene 2 days before seeing the doctor and had a pretty beat up ass. She decided to keep the appointment anyway and then had to explain to the doc that the bruising was legitimately consensual. Again, I am not advising this; I would have rescheduled my play or the appointment, lol.

I talked to my doc about my sex life and mentioned that I engaged in fetish behavior with one of my partners. She didn't ask and I didn't explain further, though I would have explained a few BDSM activities but not the enemas or catheter play I enjoy. I wouldn't want her to get weirded out by it. She's a great doc and I'd hate to lose her trust and the good rapport we have.

I recommend a book called Health Care Without Shame: a handbook for the sexually diverse and their caregivers by Charles Moser, PH.D., M.D. I've read it and found it well-written and comforting.

Topics include:

Part One: For consumers

Intro

Some Background

Portrait of a Sex-Positive Health Care Practitioner

"Doc, There's Something I Want To Tell You..."

Being a Savvy Patient

How Can You Tell If It's Working?

When It Goes Wrong

What If Your Practitioner Isn't Available?

Working With Other Professionals

Part Two: For Practitioners

Some Background for the Practitioner

A Brief Overview of Sexual Minorities & Health Issues

Part Three: Conclusion and Resource Guide

Conclusion

Resource Guide

Grab a copy of it, read it and lend it to your practitioner on your next visit for them to read.

There is a list of Kink Aware Professionals. If you absolutely MUST divulge your fetish, I suggest seeking out a professional that is on the KAP list. They will have a better understanding of your fetish, and, hopefully, be more discreet.

[quote author=phoebe2009 link=topic=59748.msg436865#msg436865 date=1335013607]

There is a list of Kink Aware Professionals.

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Interesting. I didn't know there was such a list until I just Googled it. Too bad it's an extremely small list. Even better would be a list of real doctors that would be willing to do real exams that go just a bit beyond normal. But I suppose that's just too much to ask for.

I think that, if you are going to discuss this with your doc, it would be wise to "know your audience." For example, I've been to doctor or two who was a bit obnoxious and pompous. That would be a healthcare professional I would NOT tell, lol.

In all seriousness, I can say that there are my healthcare professionals who are very judgmental and/or would not be understanding with that. I am in a helping profession and I attended a conference at a well known research hospital in NYC. One of the breakout sessions was about transgender issues in healthcare. The physician running this seminar was discussing how doctors can be very judgmental and narrow minded. That said, I also know physicians who are very open minded and non-judgmental. I even know of health care professionals (docs, nurses, pa's, etc) in the NYC kink scene and have met some of them at fetish parties. I think it would be safe to say that they would be very understanding of this if they were your healthcare providers. So, they are out there.

The kink aware professionals list is great and I am pretty sure there is a group for that on Fetlife. For those who aren't aware of Fetlife, it's like Facebook for the kink community.

I want to say that in no way shape or form am I telling anyone what they should or shouldn't discuss with their healthcare provider. I am just saying what my preferences, thoughts and opinions are so people can read it and decide how they want to use the information.

Bradjnyc, your post reminded me how NYC, being the size that it is (?) or the nature of city versus rural for me now also made me aware of doctors who went to sex clubs, doctors whom you would meet at fetish events, etc. which I can't imagine healthcare professionals whom I know here even being able to contemplate.

I dont think I would speak with my doctors about my fetish. My GP, eye specialist and dentist are all women - young and good looking. Currently, i have a very nice friendly relationship with them. If I mention my fetish, (a) I am not sure they will like it, (b) they may turn hostile or at least will become vary of me and less relaxed when I come in, (c) report me to an authority - my GP certainly would, she's a no-nonsense type. If any of the above happens, I will certainly lose their attention and the pleasure I derive from my visits to them...

So the short answer is 'no'!

Being conservative in nature, I would also not recommend anyone speaking to their doctors about their fetishes because one can never tell (a) how the doctor will react and (b) who he/she talks to!

I'll not dare to tell my GP about my medfet. I can't foresee his reaction. I fear this would spoil our good relationship.

I once had a bad experience: The spouse of a good friend is a gynocologist. One night, when we were out for dinner togehther, I tried to enter the topic "gyno exam" in conversation. Her reaction was heavy: "All men who are interessted in gyn exams are perverts... I'll never allow a boy friend to assist to the exam of his GF... They only want to get aroused..." What an unexpected reaction! I stopped at once and never spoke with her about that.

Her reaction was heavy: "All men who are interessted in gyn exams are perverts... I\'ll never allow a boy friend to assist to the exam of his GF... They only want to get aroused..."

Well, there is something to wanting to be aroused, everyone likes being aroused I'd think, so it's best not to start throwing stones at another's preference.

About the gyno thing though - in the (printed) media here one of the worst kind of pornography one can engage in, is apparently in imagery of a gynecological nature or viewpoint. That's coded speak for wide-spread open legs and easily viewable genitalia of course, but just the fact alone that 'gynecological' is used in such a derogatory manner is enough to sketch the general feeling ... so I'd say in general that it's not such an easy thing to bring up in a conversation, even with a doctor. I really wouldn't think of mentioning anything at all to my doctor.

I can't even tell my bf who is a doctor that i have medical n injection fetish, let alone my gp. I would hate to have to find a new gp.

Whilst not overtly discussing it with doctors or nurses, they probably suspect my fetish for buttock injections because I ask for them whenever possible.

Think not. Couldn't bear the thought of that on my notes, especially now here many of the surgeries have computerised their records and they are on a National Database. Whilst it would be a serious breach of confidentiality for staff to look at your notes ad-hoc, the embarrasment of knowing that perhaps someone you know has done so. Blushing at the thought of it.

I don't think I would mention it to my current GP. She is very friendly but I do not want to embarrass myself or her...I have a feeling it would make us both feel awkward with future visits.

If you must confide a fetish, i suggest you hop out into your backyard and tell a tree.

Docs always, thanks to modern litigation, worry about being sued for failure to treat or misdiagnosis. So their defense will always be to note whatever you tell them so at a later time they will be able to show that your life style, not their counsel, was responsible for whatever befell you. You would do the same if you were a doc. Can't blame them.

And, if you ever do get into litigation, someone may well subpoena your health record. Come to think of it, you could tell your attorney. At least his record will be protected by attorney client privilege. Though, what satisfaction or help you will get from telling your att I leave you to contemplate.

Talking to your doc may be desirable if you are trying to solve some med problem or head one off. Before you start yapping, though, ask him to not take notes. Or find a doc who doesnt know you.

Sometimes the risk of discloser is less than the risk of not getting to the bottom of health problem.

. . . . Talking to your doc may be desirable if you are trying to solve some med problem or head one off. Before you start yapping, though, ask him to not take notes. Or find a doc who doesnt know you.Sometimes the risk of discloser is less than the risk of not getting to the bottom of health problem.

GIVE A FAKE NAME, telephone and address. STAY ANONYMOUS.

Obviously, you can't use any insurance.

I asked for a shot and got it, then when the nurse told me "this one is going to burn." I said I know.

"You might want to look away."

It's okay, I said, I'm actually fascinated by it.

I think she might have thought it odd but not like coming out to your doctor about the fact that you like it.

"I'm fascinated by that" sounds a lot better than "I have this fetish and it turns me on." at least, I hope so.