I need some advice!!!

I have just recently found out on the down low by seeing an online order for colon tubes and enema kits he has purchased that my boyfriend of one year is doing enemas or perhaps is wanting to try it. We hardly have sex and the times we do he is drunk and never finishes, and just recently he does not even get hard for me anymore. We have discussed our lack of sex life and most times he seems to blow me off about it. He is a very 'tough' kind of guy that if I were to confront him on it he would completely deny it. I love him to death and I want our sex life to be better I don't mind that he has this kind of fetish at all I would even join in with him, but he is so timid towards me when it come to sex talk and trying to get him in the mood or talk about our fetishes is a complete no no topic. Not one time in our year relationship has he ever invited me into his home and I am guessing for good reason after finding this out. I just don't know what to do. I have read up that doing enemas does cause Incontinent sexually and was wondering if maybe he is doing this to better our sex life or could it be something else entirely?

I'm not the ultimate authority, however, I would like to share a few thoughts with you...

"I have read up that doing enemas does cause Incontinent sexually and was wondering if maybe he is doing this to better our sex life or could it be something else entirely?" I've been closely alligned to the subject of the enema for a decade, two, or three, and this is the first I've heard of "Incontinent sexually" because somebody is doing enemas.

First off, incontinent relates to being unable to retain urine or feces voluntarily... It is my thought that the word you might have been reaching for is impotent, or impotence... Being impotent, or an impotent experience, is when a male is unable to engage in sexual intercourse because of an inability to have and/or maintain an erection.

I've never heard of anyone who does enemas, 100s here, suggest that enemas can be the causation of impotence. Personally, if he is drinking as much as you stated, that could be a cause of his impotence; or, the cause of his impotence may be the reason that he is drinking so heavily.

"We hardly have sex and the times we do he is drunk and never finishes, and just recently he does not even get hard for me anymore." What does that say to you sexygurl?

I'm not a psychologist, however, I have concerns about your boyfriend's drinking.

Imho, it is my thought that your boyfriend might need some therapeutic help, and maybe even intervention. And, if he would start that process, it might be that you would benefit from tagging along, to fully understand and appreciate the dynamics of your relationship with this man.

I wish you well!

Hermann

A wonderful response from my dear friend Hermann, as usual. He's right on target with every point he makes.

I have a point I'd like to make and it's very blunt. GET OUT OF THIS RELATIONSHIP NOW. This guy screams narcissistic sociopath in so many different ways. You've been dating fora year and he's never had you over to his place? Trust me, he never will. He's got you wrapped around his little finger and he's playin' you gurl! You've never discussed sex? He's not shy, he's either hiding something or he just doesn't give a damn about sex. Ultimately, he's a control freak in a very sneaky, subtle way. Don't waste your time trying to change him, you can't.

You deserve better than this. I don't even know you and I know that much. I've been where you are now. Dig yourself out while you still can. Find a MAN that's worthy of this kind of devotion and won't tread on it.

Sexygurl, please follow up on what Hermann and ladydocisin have suggested. Almost any kind of a decent relationship will involve a rather deep give and take; which it doesn't sound like you have. Leave now and find someone you totally enjoy.

The above advise is very much right on. If he's hiding all that he is, there is something(s) he is not telling you. Get out while you still can.

Some of the knowledgeable folks at Zity.Biz have shared with you sexygurl. LadyDoc was blunt (period).

"Not one time in our year relationship has he ever invited me into his home and I am guessing for good reason ..."

a. Does he have one?

b. Is there a Mrs. at home?

In any event, please sit with the information that you have amassed today, you may get more tomorrow, and then determine a course of action for yourself. And, too, it may be that it would be worthwhile for you to visit with a family therapist to share more from your side, and to get a professional perspective on what's going on.

Take care...

Hermann