Thank the women who have supported us men, for saying that it may not matter how we get them off. Studies have said that many women cannot achieve orgasm through penetrative sex, but can by manual or oral stimulation of the clitoris. (So, @gibby has summed it up: other ways, don't be bitchy, be constructive on finding methods that work, and hopefully including each other. Communicate and work together to achieve different levels of intimacy.)
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If you can understand that women can find sexual satisfaction in different ways, then so can men. To some, including me, the cuddling, and touching is the important part of intimacy. Understanding, talking, and being acknowledged is very supportive.
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Sexually, I have become more enlightened after getting an Aneros p-spot toy. Anal play helps to stimulate the prostate (and not necessarily some "nerve" in there as someone suggested). But also can trigger thoughts of being naughty. And to almost everyone on this board, they enjoy something naughty that turns them on.
So, after I had some orgasms with the Aneros, I became more aware of the little movements or tightenings that my insides could do. The base of the penis goes below the testicles towards the perinium. It is there that connections of tissue help stimulate the prostate, even from the outside. Someone able to release the pelvic floor, breathe well, and be sensitive enough to realize the subtle sensations can help to initiate an inner orgasm that can build through the abdomen, and cause little convulsions.
Add the gentle touches of a woman's fingertips, the softness of her hair, kisses with meaning - and your whole body can shake, rattle, and roll.
Regardless if you are erect or not. There are various classes one can take to help, including Tantra (the real one regarding breathing and body positions), Body Electric, some One Taste (Orgasmic Meditation), and possibly Landmark classes.