I was sent in for a STD check and had to first talk to a medical doctor who then turned me over to a nurse. I had to wait in a hallway waiting area with chairs. When the male nurse called my name I wasn't really paying attention. He raised his voice and called me again. I stood up and he ushered me into an exam room. He started to ask me the same damn questions the doctor did. I repeated my answers. He says we need to take some swabs and asks me to drop my pants and shorts then lift up my shirt. He turns around to get some supplies out of the cabinet when a knock on the door is heard followed by the door opening a bit. I am mid way through getting my pants down and my shirt up when I see the door open. Not knowing who is on the other side (plus I was in the room facing the door) I brought my shirt back down.
The knock came from a female nurse who wanted to talk to my male nurse about some pressing issue at hand. She just opens up and rambles on how 'she said this, and she said that...' followed by a bunch of 'Can you believe she said this'. Then she opens the door more and looks in and asks who he had in the room. The female nurse looks in at me then at her male nurse friend. He looks at me and says to pull my shirt up. I offer up a protest that the door is open more and I can see outside, which means the folks in the hallway can see in.
He offers her to come in and shut the door. She comes in and turns her back on me and looks directly at him. He approaches me and signals me to lift my shirt. He comes in close as she backs up and keeps eye contact with his face. He opens one of three long tip swabs and presses it on the tip of my penis. He then asks me to lift up my penis by the base, without touching the top/tip. I hold it up and he presses slightly harder on the tip of my penis and twirls the tip around. He then places the swab into a plastic tube breaking off the long stick and tossing it in the trash behind him.
She stops her blabbing and asks what he is doing. He says he is doing the swabs for a male STD test. She replies with she has not had to do one in quite some time. He then asks if she would like to do it. She looks up at my face and I shrug my shoulders thinking it can't get worse than this. She then tells him to show her how its done again. He tells her he has two more to do. He will do one and she can do the last one. He looks at me and I says that sounds like a good idea.
He has me again lift my penis so it is facing up. He then opens the second swab and presses the tip of the swab into the opening of my penis. He says for me to relax as he needs to insert this swab down the urethra. He tells me not to squeeze my penis and not to move. If I do he has to start over again. He inserts the swab about halfway down my shaft and then twists. The insertion hurt but the twist was extremely more painful. He stopped and held the swab in place and explained to her what he was doing. He removed the swab and put it in another plastic tube. He then handed the third swab to her and had her step in front of me. I held on to my dick as she went to hold the tip of my dick as she inserted the tip in. He stops her and tells her if she touches me she will contaminate the sample and we will have to do it again on another day. She removes her free hand from being close to touching me. She then lines up the swab and goes to insert it. She stops and looks up at me. He tells her its much better if she does it in one quick movement. She looks back at my penis and inserts the swab. He then gives her instructions on how deep she has to go. As she inserts the swab in my urethra my dick starts to slowly grow a bit. i am not sure if they can sense this movement. They don't say anything about the size getting slightly bigger. He tells her to look at the underside of my penis and see how deep the bulge of the swab is in my urethra. He says she needs to go all the way down to the base. He says he first did the tip, then the middle, and now her swab needs to collect samples from the base. He looks closely and says to keep going. He then tells me not to tense up and to relax as it will not hurt then. She gets down towards my fingers when he tells me to let go of my penis. She was holding up my penis with a stick inserted into my tip. He told her to go down an little further than twist it 360 degrees in one direction. Then remove the swab and place it in the third plastic tube.
She then asks some questions about the test in general. He answers her questions and explains more details about the test and how the 3 swabs help to figure out how infected the STD, if any, is.
The whole time he was explaining this to us I stood there half naked holding up my shirt with one hand while the other hung alongside my body.
We then heard a knock on the door. He told me to get dressed and instructed her to stand behind the door as he answered it. He cracked open the door spoke very briefly with whomever was on the other side. He closed the door and turned back around and finished some paperwork. He told the female nurse to wait after he went out of the room and then for her to come out with me and show me the way out of the clinic. She smiled at me as I finished tucking in my shirt. Once I was done she opened the door and asked me to go out first. She then showed me the exit and walked off down the hall to talk with the male nurse some more.
It was painful at first. The swab that went half way down hurt a little, but as I said when he twisted it it hurt more. Then when she went down it did not really start to hurt until she was beyond the halfway point he had just been at. As she got closer to the base and I was told to let go of my penis it hurt having the weight of my penis being held up by the stick that was inserted in my urethra. Again as she twisted it hurt.
Yes, the test was negative.