At the moment, none of it.
I'm scared.
I'm worried.
This will be the first time I've been since I became incontinent. I go to the gyno next week. Last year, I was a normal human being type creature. I was overweight but active and doing my best to be healthy.
Now, I'm a broken down critter in diapers.
What will they think?
What if when they put the speculum in or do the bimanual, I pee on them?
What if when they do the rectal exam, there is a piece of poo right there waiting to come out?
What if I get on the table and when they open my diaper, I am not dry? What about the smell? I will bathe that morning just before leaving but I'm sure I will pee my pants before I get there.
How the H-E-double hockey sticks am I going to give a urine sample?
While I am on the table waiting for the doc, do I wear the diaper? If not, what if I pee on the table?
I just want to curl up and cry at the moment.
From day to day, I dont mind wearing diapers. Its actually fun and sometimes a turn on but visiting a doc since I lost control scares me.