While in real life I am deeply committed to all the hassles of pre-play negotiation, with everything spelled out, as Dan Savage would want, for fantasy purposes there is tremendous charm in submitting a younger male, SUDDENLY, and WITH NO EXPLANATION, to a situation in which his body is no longer under his control. On the one hand, this is precisely that kind of thing which negotiation avoids. On the other hand, because that kind of suddenness and unexplainedness is WHAT HAPPENED TO ME as a younger male, when I (in fantasy) make it happen to a younger male who is NOT me, it's FUCKIN' HAWT.
So, the mechanisms / scenarios of taking sudden and unexpected control over a younger male?
Crossing a border in a train at night; the guards come and pick someone for a strip search.
On the first day of college in Fall, I approach a disoriented and stressed-out freshman in a restroom, have him stand with his back to the wall, put my left hand on his shoulder, and put my right index finger down his pants behind his belt-buckle, and scratch back and forth on his pubic hair, right on top of the pubic bone. "Time for your exam, dude. Don't move." (This move is called the "Tijuana touch-down." A guy who was into Americans did this to me in a Tijuana bar one time, and it took my breath away. It triggers a sudden and powerful desire to hug the guy doing it, an overwhelming urge to grind your crotch against his crotch. Had I been a leetle bit younger or drunker, I would have been putty in his grasp.)
I work as a doctor in a poor part of town, where the kids don't get regular medical care. A poor but studly Mexican-American athlete is told to show up for a medical exam. He's never had one before, never taken his clothes off for anyone before.
I'm a doctor in Europe, where rectal temperatures and enemas are an accepted, and unquestionable part of the cultural matrix.
I'm working with a Muslim patient who has never had a rectal temp before. His parents consider the practice disgusting, unhealthy, unnecessary, and against their religion. They raise a fuss; the patient is utterly embarrassed; the RT happens anyways; he has profoundly mixed feelings about it.
Again, I hasten to add that I DO have a moral compass, and am deeply sensible of the moral wrongness of what I'm talking about here. Essentially, what I'm doing is re-working my own experiences of sudden powerless/nakedness/helplessness in order to understand my own patterns of sexual response. In order to process that material so it doesn't have so much power over me. I don't want to have to deal with posters saying, "Oh, OK, so this is what you're really into, huh?" Such people are typically looking for victims onto which to dump their own moral outrage, or their own unacceptable power scenarios, and that's NOT what I'm looking for, not at all.
One of the reasons I post this is because of Cosby's trial. When these things don't get talked about -- the erotic power of making OTHER PEOPLE play the role of the helpless victim in one's erotic scenarios -- they stay raw and powerful . . . and then we get the ugly spectacle of a man acting his fantasies out over and over again on actual victims, in this case, Cosby drugging and raping women over and over again.
---1970's boy