How do you ask for an erotic enema?

My wife and I have been anally erotic for many years. She loves it when her beautiful bottom becomes my focus, but she rarely initiates anal play, leaving it mostly up to me to bring up the topic - which I have no trouble doing when its her bottom on the receiving end. Trouble is, I just don't know how to ask when my bottom craves her attention. I don't want to fake constipation because she knows I like it when she pleasures my nether region - I just get all tongue-tied and clumsy when it comes to asking. I would love to hear how you convey your desire to receive an erotic enema from your lover.

Well folk, I have to best situation; my body requires every other day clean out, so I don't have to ask. Once in a while I do ask for one on an "off" day. Oh well, WTFO!

the boxcar

A long time ago, I could bribe my spouse into preparing the solution and hanging the bag by offering to buy an ice cream sundae. By the time I got home with the sundae, the bag was prepared. I still had to self administer.

Just ask. you obviously have a great relationship with her. just tell her what you need. or, if you can;t quite bring yourself to ask out of a clear blue sky, wait until you have just "serviced" her bottom, (while the glow is still there for both of you) then give her a hot sexy kiss, smile, and say, "my turn." how can she refuse? good luck

Totally agree with Layla. I guess I'm just lucky, but I've never understood why spouses, male or female, have such difficulty in this area.

First of all, if my spouse wants anything that would make her happy, why wouldn't I want to do it for her? Secondly, I don't understand why enemas have such a negative connotation in so many people's minds. I do understand if having it done to them doesn't appeal, but, most of the folks who complain of this issue aren't trying to push it on their spouse; they only want to enjoy it for themselves. I'm aware that some spouses won't even tolerate their partner self-administering in private. WTF? (unfortunately, this has caused many to go outside the marriage in serach of what they need)

Perhaps some frank discussion is what's needed in many cases. Dispell any thoughts that enemas=scat play. Explain that you'll do all the work of filling the bag, inserting the nozzle, etc, and your spouse won't really know what's going on inside you; that you would just like some kind of sexual stimulation while you experience the enema. Explain that you'll take care of the end result in private.

I think it's very unfortunate that so many who enjoy this fetish are literally ashamed of it. It harms no one..

Anyway, best of luck to you all..

Tough question. My wife and I are both into enemas but for some reason we're still a little timid about asking for one. We were brought up to think that enemas and any sex play other than missionary position are perverted.

Sometimes we pretend constipation or some other intestinal distress, sometimes we role doctor and patient, sometimes one simply asks the other for a squirt knowing that sex is included in the request.

Maybe still being a bit bashful is part of the reason we love enemas.

My wife has been away from home for several days visiting her elderly mother in another state. Yesterday my next door neighbor, a rather nice looking divorced woman a little bit younger than I am knocked on the door and asked if by any chance we owned any enema equipment. After the initial shock I told her we did and asked why she wanted to know. She said that she was very constipated and had not had a bowel movement in over seven days and someone had suggested an enema. She said she had never had an enema before but was desperate and wanted to try taking one. I told her that I thought it would help and that I frequently needed to take one because of chronic conspitation at which point she asked me how she should go about doing it herself. I gave her detailed directions and told her that if she needed any help to call and I would come over and assist her. So far I haven't gotten any calls but she has not returned my bag so I keep hoping.

I hang the bag in the bathroom. My wife then asks if I want an enema right now or if she should wait. SOmetimes it's better to wait until she gets in the mood to really deliver.

Oh c'mon, Tom... You're telling us you can't just tell her what you want? Maybe you just need to work out some sort of code word you can slip into a casual conversation... Like "Honey, I really could use an enema!" Works for me every time I've tried it.

[quote author=klysterfk link=topic=44213.msg342564#msg342564 date=1301944237]Totally agree with Layla. I guess I'm just lucky, but I've never understood why spouses, male or female, have such difficulty in this area. First of all, if my spouse wants anything that would make her happy, why wouldn't I want to do it for her? [/quote]

[quote author=layla link=topic=44213.msg342558#msg342558 date=1301942274]

just ask. you obviously have a great relationship... When you have just "serviced" her bottom, (while the glow is still there for both of you) then give her a hot sexy kiss, smile, and say, "my turn." how can she refuse? good luck [/quote]

And, I have to concur with both layla and klysterfk. If two people are in love, it would seem only natural that each would want to do for the other, to give them pleasure, subject to an act of intimacy being safe, sane, consensual, and non-exploitive. That being said, yes, a partner may not be attracted to enemas, or med.fet play, or a spanking, and it would not be right to push them in that direction non-consensually.

For me, above all else, it has always been my desire to help my partner find her pleasure, in any manner that I can, provided I am comfortable with her request...

Now ~ go out and make it a gr8 weekend!

I recall simply , but hesitatingly , asking my mom when I was a senior @ our state university if when I came home for a long weekend if she could ' give me an enema ' ................ there was a pause on the other end of the tele. line but she then indicated in a cheery voice ' but of course ' !!!!! She then , as most concerned moms would do , inquired why I needed same ( an enema ) along with questions concerning my college diet and lack of sleep as to my finals . Mom gave me , my first from her as an adult , a most satisfying enema about mid-morning of the next day after arriving home . She passed away many years ago but her caring enema admnistration @ that point in my life has never been forgotton . This was a very special time for a mom and her adult son .

After giving your wife her enema;just hand the nozzle over to her and say," It's your turn to give me one"How can she refuse.

My wife likes being rimed and teased, but does not favor much else for her fat butt and realy backs off of giving.

If you can give each other an enema, which is frankly a fairly personal action, then conversation about giving or getting one should really not be that hard. Perhaps the "code word" idea is the way to go. Have the conversation once, plainly stating what the code phase (to get an enema) is, and then it should be a lot easier in the future to get what you want.

Hmmm... Thats a tough one. To me though I think if I had someone who gave them to me occasionally . I might start out by saying Hey hun. would you mind giving me a good enema?

Although my wife does not like to take enemas, she is very willing to give to me. If we are lying in bed in the morning and I start pressing on my tummy she she asks if I want her to take of my problem. I always say yes. The whole process of her getting and filling the bag, bringing it to the bed, uncovering my butt, inserting the nozzle and opening the clap is erotic. So every time she gives me an enema, it is an erotic experience for me.

My wife only has enemas for constipation, but she is more than happy to give me one for other reasons. This morning was great. I left the bag out where she would see it first thing. She came out of the bathroom naked and said she'd just be a minute. The water ran, and she called me in. She teased my hole as she inserted my favourite green flex nozzle, and made sure she found my prostate. The flow began, and she further teased my with some perenum massage. After getting me rock hard for the second time, she kept it up with some gentle squeezes on the Higginson pump. As I waited to evacuate, she had her first orgasm with a hand job. I had a huge wad of pre-cum when I finally got back to the bathroom. I finished off and she had her second orgasm. That's how I ask and why she doesn't mind.

I toss my wife a fresh new bar of Ivory soap and say, "I want you to soap me, inside and out."

Fill up a bag and bring it in is what i did with my previous gf, she liked to give and recieve 😜

For me, it's just sending an email... Asking if it's okay to stop by - day, time, etc. 😃

Do you have an idea of the percentage of people that ever tried enema?

And the percentage of them which appreciated it?

Sorry, this is long-winded, but couldn't edit it too far without losing the juice. . .

At present, I have no one to ask, so it's not a question of clever salesmanship, it's a matter of short supply. But I wasn't always in such a luckless position. In the last several years of marriage to my now ex-wife, I didn't have to ask -- I was told when I needed an appointment with the bag. Happily, that was almost every weekend, with Sunday afternoon being the favored time. I have her to thank for a raging enema fetish, unlike so many, who can trace theirs to childhood experiences.

To the ex-wife, the enema was a safe and convenient means of asserting dominance over me in a mild dom/sub game that she borrowed from an older lady coworker. Obviously, that coworker was more than a casual buddy to share lunch and coffee breaks with: she had become an intimate friend, confidant, mentor, de facto sex therapist. The game as we played it underwent a short period of development and personalization, but quickly became ritualized in every respect: she'd re-familiarize me with the expected degrees of obedience and submission through humiliation and reduction, using the enema as her instrument and the toilet as her "chamber". Essentially, it was intensive potty training -- including supervised expulsion -- with direct sexual gratification at her hands as a reward for good performance on my part. Apparently, I was a good student, because the reward never failed to be given.

Mood and feeling are difficult things to convey in writing, but mean everything in the actual moment -- otherwise, we're left with the enema as an impersonal clinical procedure. I'll try to re-create enough of the ambience to give some idea of what a session with her was like. Normally affable, easy-going and plain-spoken, she was wonderful at putting herself through a momentary transformation that started with dress, and continued with manner -- not quite a female Incredible Hulk, but close enough to use the comparison. She'd get me situated on the bed, in nothing but my underwear, and then disappear to change into her "Enema Bitch" outfit, which was nude from the waist up, form-fitting blue jeans, black high-heels, with hair brushed back and a hard application of makeup to give herself a more severe look. Even her continuing to wear her glasses was calculated for effect. And a great effect it was! Her demeanor changed from girl-next-door to haughty and non-negotiable, with a steady stream of demands for instant compliance on the smallest things. The sharp contrasts in her physical appearance and behavior only served to heighten my excitement. . . from June Allyson to Joan Crawford in a single leap makes for quite a jolt!

After we parted -- several years after -- I met and dated an older nurse who was anus-obsessed, without a doubt: she loved to be rimmed and fingered, and return the favors. With her, I felt no hesitation about mentioning enemas, because I was reasonably sure -- and as it turned out, spot on -- about what her response would be: Y-E-S! She was a fleshy but attractive Filipino woman who certainly knew her way around the apparatus; it was she who introduced me to the flexible colon tube, castile soap ("ex" used Ivory bar) and the Higginson accessory. She drew the line right before accompaniment on the expulsion run, but still, my enema experiences with her were memorable. Unlike with the "ex", I got to give as often as receive, and that was a treat in itself. She also got me comfortably into the "Three-quart Club", which was a surprise, since I always felt like I was approaching my limit at two quarts with the "ex".

Realistically, I know I was lucky to stumble across the nurse, after having had the one-in-a-million intro to the erotic enema at the hands of my wife; I'm not surprised that I haven't found another female enthusiast since (though recently, I did have a boy-on-boy encounter that was definitely easier to arrange, and surprisingly gratifying!) Broaching the subject with the nurse was easy, because there were clear indicators that she had pretty much boundless interest in everything anal. But first, I'd have to get to that level of confidence before laying out such a proposition. It's not exactly the kind of subject you bring up with the plump-rump lady standing in front of you in the check-out line. No, a sane and discreet female enemate is not easy to find, even if you relax the requirements to little beyond being human and aroused by the thought. (Again, based on my recent experience, finding a guy to play with seems easier by at least a full order of magnitude!) I have to laugh at some of the ads I see, not so much here, but on Craigslist, for example: "Hot guy, 40, seeking hot lady into giving and receiving enemas; please be fit and blonde; British accent a +++; under 30; I'm squeaky clean, you be too; no tobacco but recreational user OK; this is for today only; can't host, must be hotel or your place, no RV dates; respond with face and body pics, clothed OK, no pics = delete." Surprise is, he's surprised he didn't score.

A year or so back, I was in the hospital for some major abdominal surgery. As it happens, they will not let you out before your bowels begin to move. So, we waited, and waited, and waited. The docs would come in and ask how I was doing and i said nothing was moving. Complicating the surgery was the fact i had problems with my back, and there is stenosis of the spine that occasionally pinches and reduces my nerve sensations. They brought in a neurologists and confirmed that this was what was happening.

A few more days went by and finally, an older nurse came in early one evening after the family had left and said, "We are going to get you out of here. I'm going to give you an enema and that should get you going." She went off to get her stuff and did the job with a large bag enema, held low so it would go in slowly and not use pressure, and it worked. Home I went.

For the next three weeks, I had a home health nurse coming to the house to help with dressings and changes to my tubing. With all the pain meds, I soon had the same problem--nothing was moving. After a couple of days, she arrived one morning and basically said the same thing as the nurse in the hospital. Every three or four days i got a large enema until things started to get back to normal as i went off the pain meds. I felt great--in more ways than one.

After she stopped coming, my wife learned from the nurse about the enemas and started doing them herself. So, every few days, when she thinks it is necessary (as she always does) I get a big red bagger and a rinse. That usually leads to more pleasurable activities for both of us. i don't even have to ask!

I guess my 1st erotic enema other than by myself and non-intended erotic enema by mother/grandmother (elsewhere) was my 1st wife. Finally, I just asked her. I was real embarrassed to ask and she knew it wasn't medical because when she did it, she reached down and felt my very hard member. Anyway, she went down to the store and got a kit with both tips and we did it. She worried about the mess so I didn't try and hold a large amount that I think feels good. She knew how and she gave me one in the shower. I liked it and asked her to make me come while putting the douche nozzle in my butt and masturbating me. What an explosion, I really loved that douche nozzle and prefer it nwo for most enemas. Anyway, that was the 1st erotic I asked for.

When I first was seeing my ex-wife I would ask for them as a part of foreplay. She was happy to oblige saying she liked how bent I was. Later she became less enthusiastic, but this paralleled the demise of our marriage. Later I asked a woman I saw if she would give me one and she refused. I'm not seeing her anymore. She loved anal though!

If a partner and I have gotten on for awhile and I trust that person with my body and fantasies, I'll come out and let them know I like enemas. It's a tough thing to approach sometimes but its gotten easier over the years. That doesnt mean I've had many partners that have done this for me. Regardless, just come right out and tell them exactly what gets you hott. Poor is the man whos pleasures depend on the permission of another.

My wife and I are similar to Klystermister - we are shy about asking for enemas of a sexual nature. So, we have developed a ritual that let's us enjoy our mutual fetish. When one of us wants an enema, we just put out our bag and selected nozzle (we both like a big douche style nozzle or a double balloon catheter) on a towel on the sink top between our double sinks. For me, seeing the neatly coiled hose beneath the bag and the nozzle on top the bag begins the excitement. In the early evening the one who is to administer will say " I will meet you in the dressing area and prepare your enema". Enema time actually involves a warm ss enema followed by two rinsing enemas. Later in bed the spouse will lubricate the other's anus and insert a butt plug, followed by a slow encore of intercourse. Between the two of us, an enema is administered every other day. We are very happy with this arrangement.

Have you never proposed to whjpe her clean after releasing ? Like parents do it to young child.

So, I found this old thread from 10 years ago and thought it deserved an update. We have come to the mutual acceptance that all enemas are erotic, and look forward to coveted ‘days off’ when we spend the whole day in the bedroom suite doing nasty things to each other. But the real truth is that enemas for her were pleasurable to receive, but painful to release. We thought it was IBS, but it turned out to be twisted colon. With that repaired, and eventually the hesitation (understandable because of past agony) passed, enemas became much more pleasurable for @sirensong. So now they are usually foreplay to a later, intimate, private lovemaking session.

I enjoyed the enemas I got when a little kid and soon learned to give them to myself. When I got married, I decided I wanted to get my wife involved, but gentle questioning revealed she never had an enema. I know some others have asked for help to deal with constipation (real or faked) hoping it would lead to mutual enjoyment. I decided to take the direct route. I told her I read that some couples find it exciting and fun to give each other enemas. Her first reaction was no, that doesn't sound like fun to me. From time to time I would whisper sweet things in her ear, followed by, “And then I want to give you an enema.” The answer was always, “Maybe someday, but not tonight.” I was about ready to give up on it when one night after some alcohol, she said, “OK, but you have to take one first.” I think I set a record preparing that enema. We played from time to time but she just never got into it like I had wished. She said it was uncomfortable and she was always afraid of making a mess and couldn't enjoy it. At least I tried.

So, whether you try the direct approach as I did, or use some sort of excuse to get him/her to give you one, you will never know until you try.