Vanilla partners - What to do?

I've talked with so many people in this situation. It's a shame that so many people must repress their desires because of closed-minded partners. It's especially difficult when everything you love them dearly and everything about them is amazing, except for their dislike and disapproval of enemas. So what would you do if you found yourself in this situation? And what advice would you give others in a similar situation?

How very difficult! I am in a 15 year marriage with a woman who will not even acknowledge enemas exist, but (years ago) used to get nasty at the mention of them. Her rejection of my needs has led to resentment that permeates the entire relationship. My enema sessions, intead of being shared or even tolerated, are secretive, solo, and devoid of even fantasy sharing with her. Her position is, (I think,) that enemas are competition for her. We still have occasional sex, but little does she realize what allowing me to add enemas (for me, not her,) would do to rejuvenate our sex life. At 77years, even though there's snow on the roof, there's still fire in the furnace, and water in the boiler!

I voted continue enemas solo but not secretly. For me, I refuse to let enemas run my life. Not everyone shares an interest in enemas and I accept this. For me, enemas are only a small part of my sexuality and desires. I can overlook the lack of interest in enemas if other things are taken care of.

Arianna

Oh what a great question. I voted *continue with partner knowledge * continue on the sly and * phone enemas.

I would not ruin a relationship by forcing a good person to share my fetish in any way, but I will not give up my enemas either. When no partner is handy, I get great pleasure from forum and email activity (not phone or chat though).

If I couldn't get the partner to go along, then I would drop the subject and go solo on the sly. I've shared some with others who post here (you know who you are) and I deeply appreciate the willingness of them to share in this incognito manner.

I voted on the sly without his knowledge and enjoy online with others.I don't even attempt to go there with him and he has a right not to be informed if I knew this would disturb him.I am not one of those people who think everyone needs to be into it and share and bash them because they won't.It's a personal choice for each one of us and we have to respect and consider others' views on the matter.

I was in a marriage where my wife did enemas with me until we got married. After that I was on my own and even though the equipment was there I used it when she wasn't home. Then, I was in a long relationship with a woman who seemed to be into enemas the first four years we were together. The night she told me she only did them because I enjoyed it so much that kind of took the enjoyment away. I went solo after that until we broke up 6 years later. I am now living alone and can take an enema anytime. I got used to that freedom and I don't think I want to get involved with another woman who is not into enemas.

How will you know that your new partner will be serious about enemas and not dupe you like the last lady did for four years?

I've resigned myself to the fact that I am doomed to remain solo in my enema activities, but with a great imagination I can travel anywhere and do any enema scene safely.

Trust me here, I have been doing this all my life. Most women that I meet are enema virgins, and a fair amount of them have NO prior anal desires whatsoever.

Here’s how I handle that. First, I get the girl highly aroused with normal seduction techniques. Then, I start with some ass play, typically some baby oil all over her ass, while I massage and squeeze her cheeks. That feels so good that most women will lie there and beg for more! Soon, it’s onto the KY jelly, and massaging it into the OUTSIDE of her rectum. The key here is to be GENTLE and erotic with the girl. Give her time to relax, and see that you won’t hurt her. I easily spend 30 minutes just massaging her rectal ring on the OUTSIDE. Rubbing the jelly around. Getting her slippery and lubricated well. Then, I VERY GENTLY introduce just the TIP of my finger into her rectum. Very slowly, and very gently. I’m usually teasing her clit at the same time, too. I may easily spend another half hour easing just one finger into her ass.

Inside her rectum, I am VERY gentle too. Lightly stroking her inner walls. Massaging her rectum gently. The key here is to be SLOW, and easy, and very gentle with a new girl. Plus, watch her reaction. Is she having fun?

I have converted so many women who started out repulsed or disgusted by anal play. A month later, she is bending over a big stack of pillows, with her ass in the air, willingly asking for my fingers up her ass. Why? Because she loves the pleasures of anal play! Who wouldn’t, if it’s done right?

Enemas are the same way. Make them easy, and be gentle. Plus, keep the girl aroused all the while. Trust me here. There is NO such thing as a woman who doesn’t like anal play. There are just women who haven’t had it done to them correctly yet.

😞 My present wife knows that I like enemas but she refuses to join in saying that they are nasty. I keep telling her that it would help her out but she don't believe me. ??? How can I convince her other wise.

I have the same situation as dlmetz, wife knows I enjoy them but will have nothing to do with it. She too thinks it is nasty and have asked her to engage in e play with me, but will not happen.

It seems as though from the posts I have read, that it is a love/hate thing. Either people really love the sport or hate it, and do not see much in between. In retrospect, I probably should have shared my interest with my wife when dating to continue this as part of a relationship. More power to all the couples that have a mutual enjoyment of sharing with each other.

As to answer, my vote would be continue in a secretive manner, and leave the e word out of any conversation.

My long-time girlfriend (15 years) is completely not into enemas, though she could use a good one! So I take matters into my own hand without her knowledge, which is fine with me. If anything happened to her though, I would bring this up while dating.

I must say I like the above posters attitude--so positive, and patient. We live in a fast-paced world; slow and easy would do most of us wonders.

I suspect a great deal of this forum's members have some level of mismatch with their partner when it comes to enemas. Being in a marriage for almost 15 yrs with a spouse that hasn't the least interest in enemas (and other fetishes for that matter) is beyond the description of frustrating.

Neither can I see spending a lifetime with this person, nor would I want to impose my interests on her without that mutual return.

Agreed, sexuality is not the only part of a person, but it is most certainly a significant part and in some ways describes the many other aspects of an individual (IMHO). So if I do find another later in life, it will almost surely be someone who has many overlapping interests.

Yeah, the enema fetish is so damn specific and unusual (my guess is less than 2% of population), so the odds are against us. Perhaps forums/sites like this make the possibility much better.

In the meantime...it is solo and conversing/sharing with others online unless I happen upon a fortunate connection.

I'm sure that everyone understands the level of frustration in a relationship like that. You have to be true to yourself no matter what.

I do not think that I would have gotten to the point where I would know them so well that I love everything about them and suddenly the enema issue comes up. After 2-3 dates I would have expected a sexual connection and then very shortly after that I would have brought up enemas. If at that point it was a no-go then too bad I guess we would not have had as many things in common as we thought! I guess I have been lucky.

My guy is mostly vanilla, but is open to experimentation. By vanilla, I mean we engage in vaginal sex, oral sex, rimming and anal sex, but not some of the more adventurous activities. However, he's is willing to try most anything I'm interested in and has usually enjoyed it. For example, I like being spanked, but he was always a light spanker. One evening, when I was craving a really good tanning, I asked for harder and harder spankings. He was just obliging me at first, but really got into it after he started.

He knows of my love of enemas, but we haven't explored that together. But from what I've told him about it, he said he would be open to giving it a try. A few years ago after returning home from my hysterectomy, I was too nauseated to keep anything down, including water, Tylenol and Phenergan. I had Phenergan suppositories, but because of my pain and swelling, I could not reach behind to insert it. I tried for probably ten minutes or so with no success so I asked him to insert it for me. He slipped in it quickly and easily. I said, "Wow, that was fast." He replied, "Yes, I've been there before. I could find it in the dark." After my knee surgery last year, I was constipated from the pain medicine and needed an enema, but didn't feel like preparing it. So I asked him if he would prepare it for me and gave him instructions and he prepared it perfectly. He offered to administer it to me and it was sweet of him to offer, but I told him that the first time we did that, I'd rather it be for pleasure and fun and not necessity. So maybe one day we'll get around to enema play. I'd prefer to play with someone who already has interest, experience and pleasure in it rather than starting from scratch, but at least he's willing to try it. He knows I enjoy them and I don't have to hide them and will often tell him that I had a series and feel so much better afterwards. I guess that I'm luckier than those who have to hide everything.

Arianna:

I couldn't agree more. Although I really enjoy enemas, they are only one aspect of the things I enjoy.