@diapereddaughter: Really sorry to read that you were abused. I know just how it feels.
As an adult-toddler diaper boy/Daddy switch, I totally understand and agree with what you wrote. When I'm a dominant Daddy, I feel most comfortable either with purely adult dl role-play (Daddy erotically dominates and disciplines his adult diaper-lover daughter/girl, sternly but calmly, within prescribed limits) or with purely regressive ab role-play (Daddy nurtures and diapers his adult-baby or adult-toddler or adult-little girl with love and caring -- nothing sexual). I have no problem with a submissive adult girl or little or daughter who elides between ab and dl play, or between wanting to be nurtured and wanting to be dominated and disciplined. I know that erotic ab or regressive play (which I enjoy myself as an adult-toddler diaper boy, just as I enjoy erotic adult diaper-play as a lifelong dl) is acceptable between consenting adults, and that the divide between such play and anything illegitimate is of course absolute. I would never judge you or think less of you for wanting to be disciplined or more while regressing. But I can understand how a role-playing Daddy -- especially one new to age-play, diaper-play, and regression -- might feel conflicted about going beyond sexless ab nurturing or sexual dl discipline into the conjoined, intersecting realm that lies between these domains. Obviously, I see nothing wrong in any wise with consenting adults' combining ab and dl role-play and age-play, or combining nurturing, non-erotic regression with erotic play, including dominance and discipline, but I can understand how a Daddy might be uncomfortable with what such combined play might evoke or suggest. To me, the key is reminding yourself and your partner that this play is both exciting and helpful to you, and that it affords you a safe and healthy opportunity to conjure and to revisit awful past experiences, and to begin transforming and transcending those awful experiences and their terrible legacies by securely creating new experiences that you can control by surrendering control, within D/d or D/s limits, in your own realm, in your own time. It can be both immensely liberating sexually and deeply therapeutic emotionally "to go all the way" with such play and exploration, but it can be confusing and upsetting too -- especially for a partner who cares about you and who shrinks from any conduct or treatment that smacks (no pun intended) of predation or abuse. I know the dynamics well, and again I applaud you for your perspicacity and self-awareness and honesty and courage in facing and exploring your past and for sharing your stories and for pursuing your dreams in your all-grown-up present. You deserve to be cared for, in all the ways you desire. I know there are Daddies who know how to do so, and who would long to do so. Best wishes.